Poppling
by butchinthestreets
Summary: A snippet of fanfiction for every day of the year 2011. No particular pairings kept to.
1. Chapter 1

Thurid Guild is a relatively young man, with a beautiful, relatively young wife, whom he loves a great deal. They have a lovely house and a lovely daughter, and they are wonderfully, deliriously happy and in love.

Certainly, he might have been accused of having affairs with various extremely attractive pretty women at one point or another, but these were mere rumors, and he is faithful to his spouse, extremely faithful indeed.

This is a source of great annoyance to his daughter, who wishes her parents would either fall out of love or move to a house with thicker walls.

* * *

**A/N: We all portray Guild as so flighty, don't we?**

**This will not be overly well run, as evidenced by the fact that it's starting a day late, but I'm hoping I won't give up quite so fast if I can convince myself to be a bit less obsessive compulsive over it than I usually am about my calendars.**

**~Mademise Morte, January 2  
**


	2. Chapter 2

The _Galette des Rois_ is duly cut into six slices, these slices distributed. Delicate, cautious bites are taken, and Desmond is the first to speak.

"Very nicely baked, Steph. It is actually edible."

Everyone at table, including the speaker and excluding the cook (on account of principles) and her husband (on account of not wanting to be cut off for the next week- from food or from other things, I leave for the reader to decide) laughs.

"It really is lovely, my dear," Melissa says, smiling.

Valkyrie's sister has, in the meantime, found the token in her slice.

"Stephanie," she says, her voice stiff with disapproval, "This is why you took the crown from my dolls' house, is it not?"

More laughs are laughed.

* * *

**A/N: We celebrated the Epiphany today, and so I thought of this. I leave the identity of her husband up to you.  
**

**For those who do not know, on the feast of the Epiphany, a cake, a pie of sorts, really, called the _Galette des Rois_ is baked and served, and a token is placed in the center. Traditionally, whoever gets the slice with the token is the king or queen of the occasion.**

**~Mademise Morte, January 2  
**


	3. Chapter 3

Valkyrie leans against the wall, her arms crossed, eyes contemplative, as she watches Clarabelle reorganize a set of crystal vials, filled with bizarrely colorful liquids and powders. Every time they appear to be sorted neatly, the pale girl runs her hand over them and begins again. Some of the distinctions are easy, like gradations of color, but some are quite impossible for Valkyrie to understand.

It reminds her of Fletcher and his hair-things, and so she cannot help but to laugh.

"Do share the joke, Valkyrie."

"I really do feel sorry for you and Fletcher, should you ever get married. You'll spend forever just going after each other, arranging and re-arranging _everything_."

* * *

**A/N: It is ten minutes to midnight, local time.**

**Perhaps I had better start on the next snippet now, and post it just after midnight XD**

**~Mademise Morte, January 3  
**


	4. Chapter 4

"What are _your_ New Year's resolutions, China?" The dark-haired girl looks curiously at China Sorrows.

China Sorrows is languishing on her bed, which is a bit like lazing, only with heaps more style, and watching Valkyrie Cain deal with her tangled hair, which involves a monstrously sharp-toothed comb and not very much elegance at all.

China considers the question. "To drink less alcohol, take more exercise and work on my collection of epic poetry."

Valkyrie snorts derisively. "You won't last longer than a week with those first two."

"Probably not, at that."

* * *

**A/N: I have no resolutions specifically for the New Year.**

**I'd've broken 'em in an hour.**

**~Mademise Morte, January 4  
**


	5. Chapter 5

It's the New Year. It's a time of renewal. The earth sings.

Picnics are held, regardless of the weather. Elegant women with hats and skirts, gentlemen in suits and miscellaneous teenagers in their jeans and T-shirts alike sit around and sip tea (or alcohol, as the case may be) and discuss everything under the sun.

Some of the chirpier, more energetic ones are dancing, others singing. Marianne Guild, she of the sparkling eyes and long limbs, has somehow conjured a harpsichord, and her dear, dear friend, Clarabelle, is playing a similarly materialized viola d'amore. They smile a great deal.

Valkyrie is spinning and twirling in their cheerful song, holding lightly the hand of the Young Person known as Portia, while Fletcher is being led by Caelan. After a moment's hesitation, Wreath lets himself be dragged up by Skulduggery.

The dance is danced.

* * *

**A/N: Crack pairings :3**

**Writing this made me insanely happy...**

**~Mademise Morte, January 5  
**


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey, Valkyrie. How're you doing?"

"I'm great. You?"

"I'm good.

"I haven't seen you in decades."

"I know…"

"Mum's getting pretty upset about that. Why've you been staying away?"

The younger girl bows her head and mumbles something vaguely like 'don't want to have to introduce her to the boyfriend'.

"Ah. And who would that be?"

This time, the mumble resembles the words 'a vampire'.

"Ah. Out of interest, which one?"

Derisive snort, 'not telling, you'll just scare him'.

"I'm waiting…"

"OKfineit's…"

"Yes?"

"Caelan…"

* * *

**A/N: And then Valkyrie goes absolutely freaking mad.**

**XD**

**~Mademise Morte, January 6  
**


	7. Chapter 7

Zombies, at least basic ones, are most markedly not known for, oh.

Their grace. (That's vampires.)

Elegance. (Vampires again.)

Beauty. (Elves.)

Strength. (Werewolves.)

Speed. (Elves.)

Friendliness. (Gnomes.)

Intelligence. (Once again, vampires.)

Do you know what we are known for, though? We are known for our loyalty.

The moment we are made, we will stay faithful to our creator (unless, you know, we don't. Then we kill them. Anyway). When we fall in love, it isn't equality. We're slaves. (Grovelgrovelgrovel ^^")

Thing is, we don't mind (unless our master's absolutely pathetic, in which case, well, we do. Then we kill them. Anyway).

And that is why I, Gerald, stay with Vaurien Scapegrace (for the moment, at least, until I get bored. Then I'll kill him).

Anyway.

* * *

**A/N: Thrashgrace :DD**

**~Mademise Morte, January 7  
**


	8. Chapter 8

"Caelan?"

"Yes, Valkyrie?"

"I have something to discuss with you…"

The already-pale vampire becomes, if possible, even paler.

"My sister tells me you've been dating her."

The vampire prepares to run.

"Is this true?"

"Yes…"

The vampire begins inching away, and breaks into a run as Valkyrie Cain begins pulling streams of fire from the air.

* * *

**A/N: Fire... SOUL! ! !**

**~Mademise Morte, December 8  
**


	9. Chapter 9

"So, Valkyrie, what instrument would you like to take up?"

"Huh?"

"Well, you _are_ sixteen, and you should take up an instrument… It's good for neural development, you know."

"Um… I dunno…"

"Flute? Violin? Piano?"

"Those are all classical instruments."

"Guitar? Bass? Keyboard?"

"Isn't keyboard another word for 'piano'?"

"No…"

"Can I learn the drums? At least I won't have to deal with sheet music…"

_**A while later**_**…**

"What. Is. This?"

"Drumming notation."

"It looks like sheet music."

"It is."

* * *

**A/N: Based on this...**

**Acquaintance: You drummers have it easy! You don't have to read sheet music!**

**Me: #drags her to sheet-music stand, points to notation#**

**Acquaintance: Oh-Em-Gee, what _is_ that?**

**Me: #sighs#**

**~Mademise Morte, January 9  
**


	10. Chapter 10

Tanith is sitting in her favorite chair. It is wooden, stiff and what would usually be considered uncomfortable in the extreme. Its twin is on the other side of the room.

She quite likes it.

She is sharpening her sword, blade screeching in a way that most would call bone-chilling and distinctly unpleasant. It's a nice sound, in her ears. It's got memories attached to it.

However, to the individual seated across from her, the chair is hateful, the sound is freakish, and the look of content on her face entirely malevolent.

"I swear, Tanith, you love that sword more than you love me."

"Look who's talking, Billy-Ray. You love your straight razor more than you love your girlfriend."

"The straight razor's a part of my _soul_, darling."

"And the sword is part of mine."

* * *

**A/N: Tanguine...  
**

**You're all going to hate me now, yeah? XD  
**

**~Mademise Morte, January 10  
**


	11. Chapter 11

"Skulduggery… I have a confession."

"What is it?"

"That's not very polite."

"I'm not particularly concerned…"

"Oh…"

"So, what did you want to say?"

"I'm in love with you!"

"I'm afraid it won't work out, dear."

"_Why_?"

"For one thing, Kenspeckle would kill me."

"True…"

"I'm glad you see my point, Clarabelle."

* * *

**A/N: Clar-duggery :33**

**~Mademise Morte, January 11  
**


	12. Chapter 12

"The world of magic is _really, _really perverted." Crystal was leaning against the wall, surrounded by a small-scale Great Wall of China composed entirely of books. Some were written by her uncle, some borrowed from the library of China Sorrows (who she now, incidentally, had a giant crush on, which was, of course, entirely unlike how everyone else felt about China after first meeting her, because her love was pure, and true. There's a little piece of heredity for you).

"How so?" Carol was sprawled haphazardly on the floor on the other end of the Great Wall, flipping idly through one of the tomes taken from China's library. She had only picked it up because a rather handsome young personage had just replaced it, and it was a good starting point for conversational flirting, which she is extremely good at, thank you very much.

"Well, the vampires, fr'instance. They turn into monsters at night. Isn't that some sort of deep sexual metaphor?"

"Could be, or maybe they just dislike the sun."

"And the Elementals. Don't you think their magic would work well for... Well, you know."

"Now you're just reading way too much into it."

"Maybe you're right. But what about all that subtext when Serpine was torturing Skulduggery?" _Scepter of the Ancients_ by Derek Landy was brandished.

"I honestly don't know what to say, Crystal. Shame on you."

* * *

**A/N: I just realized I've been on Fanfiction dot net for a bit more than a year now. Anniversary went by unnoticed on the ninth.**

**Dear God, that's a year of my life spent mainly writing somewhat perverted fic.**

**Well, writing it has been fun. I hope you lot have enjoyed reading ^^"**

**~Mademise Morte, January 12  
**


	13. Chapter 13

**Valkyrie** **Cain**'s thought for the day: the Remnants wander the world. Lonely, lost, weeping, like children who have misplaced their parents. All they want is to have a good host, a little fun, nothing more and nothing less.

Can you really deny them that?

**Comments**:

**Tanith Low**. Glad you've finally come around, darling ;D

**Fletcher Renn**. Oh my God.

That's it. You've finally gone mad.

Tanith: Freaky -.-

**Skulduggery Pleasant**. The thing is, my dear, that we, as humans, absolutely must kill off anything that causes sympathy. Because we don't want competition.

**Darquesse (alias Valkyrie Cain)**. Too true, my dear Skul. So many genocides have been based on that logic…

**Gary Price**. What the **, Steph? What are Remnants? Who are all these people? Why are you calling yourself Dark'ess? Have you finally cracked from reading My Immortal?

**Fletcher Renn**. Gary: Honestly, you don't want to know. Take it from me.

**Hannah Foley**. Ohh Myy Godd, Gary, DON'T YOU BLOODY DARE REFERENCE MY IMMORTAL. #mental breakdown#

**Gary Price**. Fishnets ;D

**Hannah Foley**. NOOOOO~

**Valkyrie Cain (alias Stephanie Edgley)**. #kills Gary#

**China Sorrows**. Very good thinking, my dear. Incidentally, you should join me when I reunite the worshippers of the Faceless Ones. It'll be… Fun… :3

**Fletcher Renn**. #drools# Can I join too?

**China Sorrows**. No.

* * *

Shortly after this, Desmond Edgley decided that his computer skills really had failed him, and he had befriended the wrong Stephanie Edgley. He cut off the friendship and was thus spared the announcement that **Valkyrie Cain** was **in a relationship**. With **Tanith Low**.

* * *

**A/N: It was My Immortal that eroded my brain-cells such that I actually wrote a FaceBook based snippet.**

**Shame on Tara Gilesbie.  
**

**~Mademise Morte, January 13  
**


	14. Chapter 14

Chords run and split under my fingers, the _piano et forte_ seeming to bend itself to my will.

My dearest friend, China Sorrows, watches, eyes sharp. She still doesn't trust me, clever girl that she is, and she's watching and waiting for me to morph the song into one of persuasion, one of magic, one of death. I won't, though, because I'm not that stupid.

She doesn't play herself, but she does know what a death-song sounds like. The mildest ones are in Ionian mode. The heaviest are in Phrygian.

I finish my calm recitation of the various chords, and let them switch to the tune we're both so familiar with, the notes our more youthful selves had pledged never to forget. My fingers trip and stumble, but as I continue, the improvisations come easier, and the mistakes become lesser.

She's smiling, against her better wishes. The song is concluded, and I stand.

"That was lovely," she says softly, and she's no longer China, but Amaryllis.

"Thank you," I say softly, and allow myself to be led back to my confinement, where I shall stay until a suitable punishment for my crimes is decided, a suitable punishment for the deaths I've dealt, under the guise of Murder Rose.

It seems somewhat pathetic, that I, the great killer, the mistress of blades, should be reduced to this existence, where a chance at the _piano et forte_ is precious. Still. There are worse things than being trapped in the house of your former lover.

I've lived through many of them.

* * *

**A/N: On a completely unrelated note.**

**Astrology is apparently not a dead field, as there have been adjustments made to the dates and things for star-signs. I am therefore no longer a Sagittarius, but an Opiuchus/Serpentarius. Does anyone else have a changed star-sign?**

**I like gossipy things like this :3 They make life a bit more hilarious, especially when you consider that Opiuchus was originally excluded from the whole institution of star-signs because it would have meant an uneven number, and they didn't want that XD**

**(Yeah, I am absolutely babbling because I don't want to contemplate what made me think China/Murder would be cute.)**

**~Mademise Morte, January 14  
**


	15. Chapter 15

Kissing him isn't as bad as I thought it would be.

I mean, it's nothing like the damp, disgusting kisses I've kissed, and I had a fair share of those, trust me. It's not quite how it was back when he had skin. There's less of a power struggle in it.

It's not exactly sweet, mind. There's a misery mingled with it.

I'm not his wife. I'll never be his wed, or any man's. That's the price I paid, for my beauty.

But… It's nice, all the same.

A skeletal digit smoothes a tear away from my cheek, and he tilts his skull. "I'm sorry for your loss," he says, and the words bring me back to a hundred years ago, the last time I was in love.

And I kiss him again, still in mourning for Gordon Edgley.

* * *

**A/N: For every spell that is cast, an equal cost is taken.**

**~Mademise Morte, January 15  
**


	16. Chapter 16

People think I'm not good enough for her. Valkyrie Cain.

They think I'm too stupid, too flighty, too uncaring. Maybe they're even right.

I don't really care, though, because there's one even bigger reason why we could never be together.

I would have thought it would be _obvious_. I mean, I'm so careful about my looks. I share subtext-filled moments with other males. I'm a bit too carefully coiffed.

Isn't it really, really easy to see?

I mean, I'm at least as blatant about it as Solomon Wreath, and everyone knows _he's_ gay. How much more showy do I need to be? Thirty-cm hair and drag? Bondage gear? _Glitter_?

Hmph.

* * *

**A/N: I really want to see Fletch in bondage gear now :3 Black leather...**

**XD  
**

**~Mademise Morte, January 16  
**


	17. Chapter 17

"Dear _God_, woman, why must you come in at the most un_Godly _hours?"

"Because I'm a atheist?" Tanith picks an orange from the kitchen counter and begins to peel it, thumbnails digging into the skin briskly. A section is pried loose, and she pops it into her mouth, absent-mindedly spitting the three or four seeds that were within out.

Her brother laughs. ""True enough, dear. But why four in the morning? Training grounds close at twelve, all the good bar fights are over by two, as you've complained, and you strenuously deny having a boyfriend."

"Uh. Yeah, that's true, I am entirely without a boyfriend at the moment."

"How strange it is to hear you say that."

"Not as strange as it would be if you were saying it, brother darling dearest. While we're on the subject, how's Remus?"

Blush, nervous laugh. "He's OK."

"Still working at the Sanctuary?"

"Yeah."

"That sucks. He must have some really rubbish hours, no? So inconvenient..."

Further blushing.

* * *

**A/N: Kehe :3**

**~Mademise Morte, January 17  
**


	18. Chapter 18

There is a lake here. It is calm and quiet and beautiful. The pretty young woman presently sitting by its side has loved it ever since she was a child.

She has a book flopped open on her lap, she is reading. She enjoys this.

When the book is finished, she closes it and places it neatly in her bag. She then stands and stretches, bones cracking loudly. She yawns, and when she's opened her eyes, there's a lovely little bell on her bag.

Grinning with some confusion, she lifts it up, and starts to ring it. It chimes pleasantly.

The water ripples and _something_ emerges. She's not sure what it is, and she probably never will, considering how she's grabbed her bag and is running away at speed.

* * *

**A/N: The Sea-Hag's one of my favorite characters, and this is the first time I've actually written something involving her.**

**Strange -.-**

**~Mademise Morte, January 18  
**


	19. Chapter 19

China Sorrows is perfect, like a little china doll.

Only an incredibly intelligent, powerful one, who's great with symbols and can kill a man without a second thought (or even a first one, really).

But she's lonely, because there's no man or woman on this earth as perfect as she. They're all ugly, or stupid, or weak, or jealous, or greedy, or _something_. It's annoying.

And so she'll spend her life alone, more's the pity.

It's OK. She has her books, and her symbols, and brightly colored plastic things that vibrate.

* * *

**A/N: It was going to be China/Nye...**

**That didn't really work out...**

**~Mademise Morte, January 19  
**


	20. Chapter 20

Zephyr has gone through a lot.

There was the ridicule she received when she first announced that she wanted to be a warrior, at age ten. She was thought to be strange.

Then there was the reaction when she started training, at twelve. In a word, she was puny. This was a little bit of heredity, from an elfin ancestress. She was the first female in her family to have had that gene display itself that clearly in centuries. At four feet tall, she despaired of ever being taken seriously.

When she turned fourteen, she finally grew taller, and in other ways. She wasn't really interested in guys, though, so at first she was childish. Then she was frigid. Then a dyke.

She didn't care.

She finished her training at sixteen, one of the earliest in her class to do so. She was freaky. Abnormal.

Sleeping with the teacher.

Well, not exactly. They were friendly, but it was a platonic friendship. All the same, it was enough to get the gossip flowing.

When she turned eighteen, she was paired Sev, to work together as bodyguards. It was not a particularly well thought out pairing, one would have thought.

Because she hated him. She hated that he was one of the ones who had spread the rumors, the slander, the lies. She hated that he was so cocky and confident and _stupid_. She hated that he was so handsome, and beautiful, and perfect.

She hated that she was in love with him.

Time wore on. She was still in love with the man she hated, though she hated him less and less, until they were properly in love and together and everything.

Then they were hired by China Sorrows and killed by Baron Vengeous and everything went wrong.

Her life started out pretty dreadfully, and it ended horribly. She would have lived it all again, though, for Sev. For him, she'd have done anything.

She lived for him, she loved for him, and she died for him, just as he lived for her, loved for her and died for her. Life hadn't been at all perfect for them, but at least they had had each other.

* * *

**A/N: I have to write something involving Zeph that doesn't have her paired with Sev or Val one day -.-**

**~Mademise Morte, January 20  
**


	21. Chapter 21

Today, we had our first argument as an official dating couple.

It was not very fun. It involved my leaving things all over the place and annoying the Hell out of him, Dusk.

I feel severely henpecked now. I mean, for God's sake, I'm _actually tidying up_.

I guess it must be love, because William-Raymond Sanguine does not enjoy cleaning.

* * *

**A/N: Duskguine :DD**

**~Mademise Morte, January 21  
**


	22. Chapter 22

Ironically, the names given to the zombies by Vaurien Scapegrace turned out to be quite appropriate.

Not so much the numbers, really, but the others.

Boiler made excellent tea, Wrecker could destroy evidence extremely efficiently, Dicer and Slicer were wonderful chefs, Basher was completely lacking in subtlety, Crasher was dreadful at driving, Slasher seemed to like pairing men together, and Thrasher, as Vaurien discovered…

Really did thrash around whilst experiencing orgasm.

* * *

**A/N: #sweet, innocent smile#**

**~Mademise Morte, January 22  
**


	23. Chapter 23

Nye regrets hiring an assistant.

She's a bit stupid, at first, and extremely frightened. Waves of terror and wildness roll off her.

Then the Nye realizes that this is a front, and she's extremely intelligent, and is being the most twisted, manipulative sort of human you can possibly be. The Nye approves.

Then, once she 'gets comfortable', she starts to redecorate things, and make them 'cute'. It's disgusting. Nye hates it.

The curtains were bad enough, but when she starts sewing black button eyes and lacing Victoriana corsets onto the used corpses, Nye puts its foot down. Enough is enough.

* * *

**A/N: I thought it was a, well, 'cute' idea :)**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	24. Chapter 24

Sometimes, Ghastly wishes he didn't have a façade at all.

It was all very well when he was scarred and ugly. He could be a tailor and have an eye for styles and fashion, because the scars rendered him asexual.

But now, he isn't, because apparently he's handsome unscarred. And, even worse than the girls fawning and flirting with him are the _men.

* * *

_**A/N: Because, seriously, all the fangirls (and boys!) would surely irk him.**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	25. Chapter 25

I'd live my life all over again for you.

I'd go through every moment of torment once more, just to see your face.

I'd suffer every hunger, every desire, every need, just to hear your voice.

I'd endure every embarrassment, moment of helplessness, every weakness, just to touch you again.

I'd die again, just to have loved you.

I said I'd do anything for you. I wanted to help you so much, every time your work was interrupted, every time the Sanctuary rejected you, every time you pushed me away.

You finally let me help you, and I died. Annoying, right?

At least I died with your name on my lips.

* * *

**A/N: Skul/His first partner. Discussed often, but not nearly as frequently written.**

**So of course I had to write it.**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	26. Chapter 26

A ten-year-old Murder Rose sits demurely with her dearest friends, Violent Violet and China Sorrows. They are practicing their Death Glares on Jaron Gallow, who is blushing violently. Finally, he bursts out-

"Rose has lips red and Violet is blue," and, at this point, the not-at-all depressive Violet growls with fury, "China is ugly,"

"And so are you." China twists her lips with disapproval, and before he knows it, Jaron is on the other side of the room.

"Serves him right."

* * *

**A/N: Another cute idea, I thought...**

**Is Krav's name Gruesome or Gruesom?**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	27. Chapter 27

"Skulduggery?"

"Yes, China?"

"I just wanted to say… Sorry I led your family to their deaths."

"_What?_"

"Yeah, I led them into Serpine's trap. And, you know, I'm really glad you've become so civilized, so I know I have at least twenty seconds to make good my escape…"

"CHINA! GET BACK HERE!"

* * *

**A/N: Pure. Bleeding. Crack.**

**:DD**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	28. Chapter 28

"Stephanie…"

"Yes, mum?"

"Your father and I are very worried about your recent behavior."

"What do you mean? I've been very good about shutting the window after I leave, and keeping my professional life away from Luce, and the like."

"But you're dating Fletcher now."

"What's wrong with that?"

"I don't think he respects you properly, and he's very rude, and a bit overconfident, and I don't want you to get hurt…"

"Bullshit. You were fine when it was Skulduggery- why get worried now? It's dad, isn't it?"

"Um. Yes. The thing is, Skulduggery couldn't knock you up."

"But Fletcher theoretically could."

"Yes."

"And that is what's worrying you."

"Yes."

"I honestly think the world has gone mad…"

* * *

**A/N: The sun is shining.**

**Here. In London.**

**I am extremely put out...**

**~Mademise Morte, January 28  
**


	29. Chapter 29

I've missed you. So much.

There are truly no words for the depth of the emotion I have long cherished for you.

Do you know how terrible it has been, without you? Stuck in that prison? Alone?

Truly, you cannot.

Kenspeckle, you are amazing. As long as I, Dreylan Scarab, do live, I could never forget you.

* * *

**A/N: Kenrab... :)**

**~Mademise Morte, January 29  
**


	30. Chapter 30

You talk a lot, Craven. I've noticed that.

You're a coward, too. You run at the first sign of danger, and you know it. It's what your name means, after all.

Conversely, I am known for not being particularly talkative, and not one to flee easily. An outsider would think we wouldn't get on well at all.

We do, though. Isn't that odd?

* * *

**A/N: We've all thought of it :L**

**~Mademise Morte, January 30  
**


	31. Chapter 31

There's something very uncomfortable about letting people into your room, don't you think? I mean, I know he's seen me wearing the clothing that's hanging over the foot of my bed, but it's still strange that he's walking around in here and noticing all these things about myself that I alone usually see.

"You haven't changed a bit, China." I raise an eyebrow at him.

"You certainly have, Wreath. You look dreadful."

"My dear Mistress Sorrows, I have just been in a fight with seven men, which, I may add, I _won_, completely without magic. I did not think that I would be expected to look immaculate after that, especially since I have been towed here to recover."

"You could have, when we were younger." When the world was younger, really, and simpler.

"I'd say it was worth the growing, though."

"I'm sure you'd think so, which is exactly why you've changed." I smile, and I let the symbols in the room do their work. He yelps as his bruises and cuts start to sting, and I smile.

* * *

**A/N: I realized that I have been basically neglecting our darling Solomon recently, so, um, here he is?**

**XD**

**Can't believe I've stuck with this a whole month so far :L  
**

**~Mademise Morte, January 31  
**


	32. Chapter 32

Note the first:

I can't cope with the world right now. 'Tis sad, but very true.

I feel like chucking myself out of a window. Or something.

Only chucking myself out of a window would be painful, stupid, and probably wouldn't kill me, _dammit_. I wish I was back home, on the fourteenth storey of an apartment block, as opposed to the third floor of a London house.

Also, the windows here are puny. I doubt I could climb through, somehow.

I guess I'll stick to writing this, then.

There's a lot of severely un-funny shit going on in my life right now- fr'instance, people dropping like flies, people I thought I knew turning out to be completely the opposite (and not in a cute high-school drama way, in a 'oh-my-God-I-can't-believe-he's-been-found-guilty-of-owning-and-slash-or-creating-child-pornography' way) and me just generally being all hormonal and depressed.

So, um, this isn't me saying I'll be taking a break from fanfiction for a while, no matter how much I may want to, because I get the strangest sense that fanfiction will actually be what gets me through this with a relatively intact mind. Rather, this is me begging forgiveness for how angsty the next few snippets of _Poppling_ might turn out to be.

So… Forgive me?

* * *

_Drip… Drip… Drip… Drip…_

The rain was beautiful, all fresh and cool. Droplets of it linger upon leaves, and the roses in the garden with their delicate stems and elegantly ruffled petals are liberally sprinkled with the raindrops.

There's not yet enough light for a rainbow, and the sound of water dripping from the eaves of the house makes Clarabelle flinch.

One of the roses is plucked, the stem harshly disconnected from the bloom. The rose is dusted off, though a few points of water remain.

The rose is handed to the girl, and she smiles softly.

"Thank you, Caelan."

"My pleasure."

* * *

**A/N: Not the crackiest pairing ever, I must admit, but there's a reason why this is called _Poppling_, not _Calendar of Crackfic 2011_. It's not all randomness.**

**~Mademise Morte, February 1  
**


	33. Chapter 33

I wish, sometimes, that life were different.

I wish that the world was perfect and peaceful. I wish people were accepting. I wish we could be lovers in public.

But the world is flaw'd fatally, that we must hide like this behind our insults and banter. It's sad.

I'll always love you, William Raymond-Sanguine, as long as I remain Valkyrie Cain (which mightn't be long, considering the whole Darquesse affair).

Still.

* * *

**A/N: OK. Fine. I'm cheerful again. It took all of seven hours and a Shakespeare play to fix my depression.  
**

**But. I'm gonna write angsty stuff because it's fun, simple, and I enjoy it.**

**~Mademise Morte, February 2  
**


	34. Chapter 34

You weren't a traitor.

Oh, I thought you were, at one point. I seriously thought you were. You must admit, it was a very convincing act.

An act it was, nevertheless.

I truly believed you. I thought I saw malevolence in your beautifully pale eyes, an anger in your every sinuous movement. There was malevolence, certainly, and anger, but not directed in the ways I thought.

You never were easy to rouse in that anger, I have since learned, but when you did, it was unshakeable. Things worse than death happened.

I wonder, sometimes, if you were the same way about love, just as passionate. I wish I had the chance to find out.

Because, Bliss, Fletcher is really not a great boyfriend. At all. Which is obviously why I'm addressing you, a dead person.

Yeah.

* * *

**A/N: Bliss/Cain. The epicest subtext there never was.**

**Kehe :33**

**~Mademise Morte, February 3  
**


	35. Chapter 35

"Kiss me."

"Don't be ridiculous, Valkyrie. I couldn't kiss you."

"Why not? You like me, I'm sure you do!"

"Yes, perhaps, but there are a lot of people who would cheerfully kill me for it, and it's not right for me, a perfectly respectable tailor, to take advantage of you, a perfectly innocent little thing."

"Who would dare hurt you?"

"Skulduggery, for one. Tanith, for another. And Caelan, Fletcher, your uncle Gordon- I'm sure he'd find a way, your parents…"

"OK. Fine. You have a point."

* * *

**A/N: Ghastly/Valkyrie. Fun stuff.**

**~Mademise Morte, February 4**

**Postscript for Vlad North: a friend of my family.  
**


	36. Chapter 36

Confessions of love are difficult.

Take, for example, the case of Skulduggery and Tanith. They were circling delicately around the subject for half of forever, both wondering if they should, in fact, confess, if it would, in fact, be wise.

And when they did, it was all awkward and blurted, but the best thing about it was that they had gotten it over with. They turned out to be quite a good match when they actually stopped stumbling over themselves trying to be polite.

Or, for another example, Caelan and Fletcher. Fletcher didn't want to say it because he thought Caelan would think him an idiot, and Caelan didn't want to because he thought everyone else would.

They've attempted a good dozen times apiece, but still haven't quite managed it, somehow…

* * *

**A/N: Yep.**

**Apologies for missing a day- I was busy throwing up, sleeping and generally being in an airplane :L**

**~Mademise Morte, February 6  
**


	37. Chapter 37

It can get very awkward, trying to explain things you really don't understand.

Magic, for one. We all know _how _it works, but do we know _why_? (Well, if we do, then I don't, so shut up, OK?)

And Skulduggery. He's a bloody living skeleton. He walks, he talks, he thinks, he is. He can use irony, sarcasm and a gun with equal aptitude.

And Fletcher's hair. How is that even remotely possible? I ask you…

* * *

**A/N: Valkyrie's point of view, since you were wondering...**

**What do you mean, you weren't?  
**

**~Mademise Morte, February 6  
**


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N: Another take on the scene...**

* * *

"Caelan?"

"Yes, Valkyrie?"

"I have… A favor to ask."

"What is it?"

"Well, when Dusk tasted me, he acted like there was something different about me…"

The vampire raises an eyebrow. "Dusk _tasted_ you?"

"Um, yeah. Would you…?"

"Um. Sure."

The vampire steps forward uncertainly, trying to figure out what exactly it is that she expects. It's not like he can exactly kneel or anything.

"It's fine. You can take from, um, my finger I guess."

He tries not to let the surprise show on his face. _Kinky…_?

She pricks her finger against a pin she appears to have had in her pocket, and he sighs.

"You meant your _blood_?"

"Yeah. What else would it be?"

"Never mind…"

* * *

**A/N: Muahahahahahahaha.**

**! ! ! ! !**

**~Mademise Morte, February 7  
**


	39. Chapter 39

It's my job to tell people that what they've seen wasn't real. That's what Philomena Random _does._

It's not easy, though, and, honestly, some of the people I have to deal with are really quite annoying.

Crystal and Carol Edgley, for example.

* * *

**A/N: Poor Philomena...**

**~Mademise Morte, February 8**


	40. Chapter 40

There's a sawdust-y feel to the air, in the abandoned construction site. Some part of Darquesse remembers it vaguely to have been one of her father's, before his unfortunate demise, and the subsequent deserting of all the projects he had been working on. Considering the state of the economy in Darquesse's battle-scarred rulership, there is no one to buy the land.

She sits there, and she closes her eyes, and she smells the smell, and she soaks in the memories. For a moment, it's like she's an infant again, with her parents, happy and comfortable and safe, long before she ever heard of magic, long before she was part of it.

The moment passes, and she is ready to return to the waging of war.

* * *

**A/N: I started with sawdust and ended with magic. Everything in-between, I improvised. Sorry if it's not very cheerful :L**

**~Mademise Morte, February 9  
**


	41. Chapter 41

**Think back to the sixth of January...

* * *

**"So, sister darling dearest, are you planning to bring anyone to the Valentines day tea mum is arranging?"

"… No…"

"Are you _going_ to the Valentines day tea?"

"… No…"

"You should really go. It would make mum happy."

"The year I go to her Valentines day tea is the year you drag Skulduggery there."

"Ah."

"Point made, I think."

* * *

**A/N : The feast of Saint Valentine is not much celebrated, and there are hardly any memorial stonings around here, yet I made a batch of chocolate yesterday for it...**

**~Mademise Morte, February 10  
**


	42. Chapter 42

Conversation between fangirl #1 and fangirl #2.

* * *

"I think we should write the Skulduggery characters cosplaying as the Sailor Senshi for a Halloween celebration."

"… It's February, fangirl number two."

"Just planning ahead."

"I don't see how that's going to work… Who'd be who?"

"Mm… Tanith could be Sailor Venus, Valkyrie'd be Sailor Mars, Clarabelle could be Sailor Mercury…"

"Tanith should be Sailor Jupiter."

"No, she should be Sailor Venus."

"BUT SHE'S THE MOST 'TALENTED'!"

Fangirl number two laughed. "Fine, for that, she can be Sailor Jupiter. China could be Sailor Venus."

"… China in a Sailor Venus cosplay. I don't think you'll be able to make that convincing, somehow."

"I'll probably scrap the plan anyway, but I'm having fun with it right now."

"So, Sailor Moon?"

"Fletcher."

"Ah. Right. Fletcher. In a leotard. And sailor collar. And high-heeled boots."

"Yep."

Fangirl number one sighed.

"Caelan can be, mm, Sailor Saturn… Sailor Pluto could be, er…"

She sighed again. "Please don't let the word 'Skulduggery' be said now…"

"Great idea! Skul will be Sailor Pluto, and Crystal and Carol can be Sailor Uranus and Neptune. There."

"Tuxedo Kamen?"

"Um… Ghastly?"

"Actually sounds reasonable, apart from the fact that you've just implied Fletcher/Ghastly. And Crystal/Carol. And Skulduggery/Ghastly."

"You'll be standing there forever if you want to list every single ship implied in Sailor Moon."

"True, true…"

* * *

**A/N: Kehe. If you have never watched Sailor Moon, just know that the only male character mentioned above is Tuxedo Kamen. Google the title character and imagine Fletcher in a cosplay of her without smiling, if you will.**

**I want to draw that now...**

**Hurrah for forty-two days of Poppling :DD **

**So long, and thanks for all the fish!**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	43. Chapter 43

Every time there is peace in the world, it is completely and truly messed up by humanity. Humanity itself admits it, through its legends. It is truly folly for a God to create Man, because that's where everything goes wrong.

Elevation to the status of a God is hard on a man. It twists and breaks and hurts, until that man is driven beyond sanity.

That's what happened to the Ancients, and that's what's probably going to happen to Valkyrie Cain, and why anyone sane will stay away from her.

Pity everyone around her isn't much known for being particularly sane.

* * *

**A/N: Folly... Such a pretty word...**

**~Mademise Morte, February 12  
**


	44. Chapter 44

_I'll wait in this place where the sun never shines;  
Wait in this place where the shadows run from themselves…_

Tanith sighs, exasperated. "Ghastly," she says, her voice cold, "Please change the song."

"It's a good song, Tanith. I'm quite fond of it."

"_Obviously_. It's a good song the first time you listen to it, yes, and the second, possibly even the third, but it's been on repeat for _hours_. _Hours_, Ghastly, _hours_."

"Fine, you can change the disc…"

"Don't sulk."

* * *

**A/N: Song lyrics are for Eric Clapton's _White Room_...**

**This is what happens when I'm inking a sketch and there are people around and I've got the CD playing instead of my iPod. White Room, over. And. Over. I sulk a lot when I'm told to change the song, too, so I save it for special occasions...**

**~Mademise Morte, February 13  
**


	45. Chapter 45

"You're breaking up with me."

"Yes."

"On the feast of Saint Valentine."

"Specifically because of that, yes. I want to make you a bitter little miser who hates Valentines day- like Scrooge, but with Valentines instead of Christmas."

"Really?"

"Gods no. I forgot it was Valentines day."

"Oh…"

"So, have a nice life."

"China…"

"Hush, Vaurien."

* * *

**A/N: Just got back from an Eric Clapton concert (the first non-classical concert I've ever been to- I feel all rebellious and teenager-y now :33 ((Despite the fact that I attended with my father who saw Eric Clapton live in concert in the same venue _nineteen bloody years ago..._))). It was brilliant, but it is resultedly late at night/early in the morning, and I am wanted to get the hell off the computer.**

**So... Talk to you soon? XD**

**~Mademise Morte, February 14  
**


	46. Chapter 46

"I'LL KILL YOU!"

"I see."

"You don't look very convinced."

"I'm not."

"But I'm Burgundy Dalrymple. I'm one of the greatest sword-fighters of all time."

"You're also a ghost. You can't impact the physical world. You can't hold a sword. You can't kill me, no matter how hard you try."

"Oh…"

* * *

**A/N: Kehe :33**

**Incidentally, it's Clarabelle talking to Burgundy...**

**~Mademise Morte, February 15  
**


	47. Chapter 47

Bone-white fingers tap against bone-white keys. There is no elegance to their sound, and he is long out of practice, but he appears to enjoy playing.

The pianoforte sings.

"That's very nice, Caelan, but could you hurry up? The food I so painstakingly made is getting cold."

"Sorry, love."

"And stop talking like Edward Cullen."

* * *

**A/N: Twilight-insulting :DD  
**

**~Mademise Morte, February 16  
**


	48. Chapter 48

The thing about idiocy?

It's contagious.

There cannot be one pair of lovers in a whole world. They will be an inspiration. Others will fall in love too.

Even more than the idiocy of love, there's the idiocy of jealousy. If there's a pair of lovers, there will be jealousy.

At the end of the world, this is happening.

A pretty young thing called Tanith Low has taken Billy-Ray Sanguine. Ghastly Bespoke and China Sorrows alike lust after her, while Dusk is yearning after him.

Valkyrie Cain is technically attached to Fletcher Renn, and Skulduggery wants Valkyrie. Caelan is torn between Valkyrie and Fletcher, apparently, which would make his story almost a love triangle if anyone actually cared about him.

No one does, really, but never mind that.

* * *

**A/N: Forgive me if it's a bit simple...**

**~Mademise Morte, February 17  
**


	49. Chapter 49

The rooftops of London: chilly, bleak and absolutely beautiful.

There aren't many people dancing on them these few days, but those that are there are not quite your usual Londoners, in that they care a bit less about taxes and shopping, and a bit more about killing and surviving.

Spring-heeled Jack is dancing. Leaping and twisting and curling about in the air. The view is one that he holds very dear.

Another shadow appears. It is Dusk.

Dusk is also dancing, in a way. He's in humanoid form, and he's graceful in his stride. He's running.

He stops.

"I thought I tol' you to stay the hell outta my rooftops."

"It's possible."

"Well then? You lookin' for a fight?"

"Just company, Jack, just company."

The two share a subtext-drenched moment. Jack jumps across the last rooftop, and a kiss is kissed.

* * *

**A/N: Once more, I am shocked to discover a favorite character of mine I have never written about.**

**Jack is one of them.**

**~Mademise Morte, February 18  
**


	50. Chapter 50

Murder Rose is a quick study.

She's quick with her blades, she works very hard, and she'll never give up. She'll hack and she'll cut and she'll hurt, and in the end, she'll have succeeded in whatever mad course of action she has chosen.

Murder Rose is trying to convince Quiver to teach her Necromancy. Quiver is staring at her.

Her words slide off him, almost, like quicksilver. They can find no foothold, no crack, no weakness, nowhere to perch, nowhere to even begin to hack and cut and hurt. He is immovable, or so it seems.

Quiver is trying desperately not to listen to her, to radiate an aura of uncaringness. She's an amazingly pretty girl, with full red lips and flowing dark hair, and a body that has reached a perfect compromise between a muscular leanness and a certain voluptuousness. The Necromancer girls are rarely pretty- religious types hardly ever are.

Finally she stops talking, and he lets himself relax, just a bit.

She strikes, with a delicate pout and widened eyes. "Please?" she says, and the word is filled with a hope and a desperation she doesn't possess.

He shatters. "Of course."

She grins, and places a hand loosely on his shoulder, slinking a bit closer to him. When she's as close as a woman hasn't been to him in years, she whispers her thank-yous into his ear.

* * *

**A/N: Seduction: an art that suicide has nothing on.**

**XD  
**

**~Mademise Morte, February 19  
**


	51. Chapter 51

The Hibernian cinema is quiet. Clarabelle has long gone home, and Kenspeckle is up late.

Dabbling. Experimenting.

Making out with Solomon Wreath.

Oh, it started out innocently enough. The Necromancer had visited the Hibernian to interview Kenspeckle as part of a report he was writing for his latest project on magic and science in combination. As he spoke with the old mage, though, he became gradually less professional in his curiosity, and he was soon as hard as the cane he habitually held. Ahem.

Kenspeckle himself became fascinated by this intelligent, pretty young thing, and this fascination, as he soon discovered, was mutual.

Which led to this sight, one which would probably have made Clarabelle squeal with a fangirlish delight.

* * *

**A/N: Kehe :33**

**~Mademise Morte, February 20  
**


	52. Chapter 52

Tokyo is quiet. Well, it's as quiet as Tokyo can ever really be. It's a busy city, and there's always _someone_ around, no matter the hour, no matter the weather. You can fade into the background, in a place like this. Lose yourself. Be anonymous. That's a good thing, as far as Dexter Vex is concerned.

He walks around, silent, searching for the pathway, the entrance, the gateway, into the Underground of Tokyo. He knows there is one, below even the subways that are as packed as the streets.

"You're going the wrong way." It is Spring-Heeled Jack. Spring-Heeled Jack is grinning, as if amused. "It's the rooftops you want, idiot, not the underways."

"Oh."

* * *

**A/N: Kehe :)**

**~Mademise Morte, February 21  
**


	53. Chapter 53

"What made you think a Cleaver would be an easy target?" Her voice is light, idle, the look in her eyes murderous.

"Never said I thought it'd be easy. Just that it would be fun." The look in his eyes is more animal than human.

'Well, go for easier things next time, honey. It's difficult to stay anonymous if you go around attacking people without killing them."

The two vampires smile in unison. Far too many teeth are involved for it to be entirely amicable on either side.

* * *

**A/N: A couple of the vamps from Moloch's establishment...**

**~Mademise Morte**, **February 22  
**


	54. Chapter 54

The Nye cuts and the Nye sews and the Nye heals and the Nye hurts. The Nye is busy, and the Nye is happy.

The Nye is smiling. It is not a very pleasant sight.

The door to the Nye's workroom is thrown open. A sack is tossed in. "I thank you for agreeing to the project." The voice is masculine.

The Nye smiles coldly. "Yes."

The sack contains a skeleton. The skull has high cheekbones. It is a tall skeleton.

Nye begins to bring it back to life, grinning all the while.

* * *

**A/N: The Nye might have been around in Serpine's time, after all... *If this theory is disproved by canon, consider this an AU***

**~Mademise Morte, February 23  
**


	55. Chapter 55

"Leave me alone."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because your body has been commandeered by a Remnant, and we want to remove it."

"Why can't you come back later?"

"We've got the opportunity _now_."

"_But I'm sleeping_!"

"Not any more."

"Hmph."

* * *

**A/N: ...**

**:D**

**~Mademise Morte, February 24  
**


	56. Chapter 56

China Sorrows is happy. She has a cup of tea brewing, a stack of new books next to her, and Vivaldi playing from the disc in her CD player. The tea she knows for certain will be good, the books could never fail to be, and Vivaldi is Vivaldi.

Nothing can spoil the perfection her afternoon promises to be, she thinks.

Then the symbols over her door show her an image of the curst skeleton and his apprentice, and, with a sigh, she admits that the one thing that could is currently entering her library, curse him.

* * *

**A/N: Vivaldi :D**

**~Mademise Morte, February 25  
**


	57. Chapter 57

"Penny dreadful for your thoughts?" He is holding out a romantic novel, and smiling. China stares.

"Dear God, is that really an original copy of the _String of Pearls_?" China is somewhat incredulous.

"It is indeed. A gift for you."

She regains her composure. "I thank you for your gift."

When her brother comes visiting her library a few days later, he finds her curled up and reading. "You found a copy."

"Yep."

"That was your favorite as a girl, wasn't it?"

"It was. Hush now and let me read."

* * *

**A/N: _The String of Pearls_ was a penny dreadful featuring the well known Sweeney Todd. I'm sure China had time for rubbishy teenage fiction...**

**~Mademise Morte, February 26  
**


	58. Chapter 58

"Please don't kill me now. Not like this."

Tesseract considers this. Strange, but a lot of people seem to react to their threatened death in this way. Maybe just the sort of people he's hired to kill.

"Stand, then, and die like a man."

"My thanks."

Skulduggery stands, and then, with a lithe, delicate motion, starts to fly away.

The Russian is surprised, for a moment, and the moment turns to another, and he decides that maybe there are some people who just shouldn't be killed.

* * *

**A/N: Implied Skulduggery/Tesseract. My God, I love Flaring Rhythm and her crackish yaoi pairings...**

**~Mademise Morte, February 27  
**


	59. Chapter 59

Caelan is lonely.

Cages get confining, after a while, and he's spending most of his life in them. More than half. Maybe all.

Love is a cage, definitely. So's duty.

Valkyrie Cain is his captor.

* * *

**A/N: Valan... :3**

**~Mademise Morte, February 28  
**


	60. Chapter 60

Tanith Low is a fujoshi.

Fu-jo-shi. Otherwise known as a Yaoi fangirl, a rotten girl, or possibly just a pervert. One who enjoys the thought of two men kissing each other more than the thought of kissing anyone herself.

Her life became living heaven when she told the two handsome men fighting over her (Billy-Ray Sanguine and Ghastly Bespoke, that is) to just "kiss and make up already", and they took it literally.

* * *

**A/N: Fujoshi and proud, I am, just as proud as I am of having stuck with this for two whole months.**

**~Mademise Morte, March 1  
**


	61. Chapter 61

"What's Clarabelle doing?"

"No one right now, I don't think."

"_Stentor_!"

"She's out dancing."

"Who with?"

"Rain."

"Who's that?"

"Rain. You know? Water falling from the sky?"

"Ah."

* * *

**A/N: Kehe. Clarabelle's cousin, visiting, trying to communicate with Stentor. XD**

**~Mademise Morte, March 2  
**


	62. Chapter 62

Valkyrie Cain missed the skeletal detective a _lot_ when he was with the Faceless Ones. She craved his company over the long months, reliving most of the memories of the time they had shared.

Apart from when he was being stupid, because absence gives your heart rose-tinted spectacles.

Or when he was being rude to her.

Or when he was attempting to defend the pop artists on the radio for some strange reason. Honestly, she didn't see why the man had even taken a liking to some of the songs. She heard no similarity at all between Frank Sinatra and Justin Bieber, who was practically _castrato_.

* * *

**A/N: Since apparently everyone enjoys insulting that... _individual_, I thought I'd avoid it.**

**Then I had to deal with my grandmother trying to defend the songs we heard on the radio. I pretty much lost it. XD**

**~Mademise Morte, March 3  
**


	63. Chapter 63

Obsessions are difficult, and strangely prevalent amongst the magical community. Perhaps it's a mode of self-protection: to always have something to distract yourself with. Maybe not.

In any event, it's prevalent. For some, it's completely unrelated to the things they want to ignore (Clarabelle with her strange clothing, Fletcher with his hair, Skulduggery with the Bentley, etc.), and for others, it's deeply intertwined (Tanith's sword, Billy-Ray Sanguine's straight razor, etc.). In other cases…

"CAELAN! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"

"But I love you."

"NOT A GOOD EXCUSE. GO AWAY!"

* * *

**A/N: As much as I love straight-faced cracky Valan, making fun of it's great too...**

**~Mademise Morte, March 4  
**


	64. Chapter 64

"I'm tired, Skulduggery. Let me go back to my nice, normal life."

"It's too late."

"_Why?_"

"Your parents are dead. You are scarred beyond healing. You've lived hundreds of years longer than you should have. You've fallen in love with someone who can never be normal, and will never let you go."

"I hate you, Skulduggery."

"Oh, I love you too, Ghastly."

* * *

**A/N: Ghastduggery :33**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	65. Chapter 65

Zephyr's met Tesseract before. She's one of the best body-guards in the world, and he among the best assassins. It was inevitable, almost.

The man with the mask faced the pretty young thing with large gray eyes and bright purple hair. "Zephyr," he said with respect.

"Tesseract." She bowed. "An honor to meet you again."

"And you, my dear. You were the one who stopped me back in-"

"Oh yes, I was. I hope you don't hold the grudge."

"Of course not. That was purely professional."

"Naturally. You have a contract out on the person I'm looking after right now?"

"Yes."

She considers this. She's guarding a corrupt politician, a killer, someone the world would be better without.

"Come back tomorrow, please. That's when he's paying me."

"Naturally."

* * *

**A/N: I envision younger Zephyr to be a bit of a punk XD  
**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	66. Chapter 66

There's respect in Jack's eyes. "Bloody 'ell," he pronounces, eyes wide. "You're still alive, then?"

"I am." The man with the shock of hair extracts a razor from it and starts to flip it around idly, reacquainting himself with its contours.

"So, what? You're gonna go back to Fleet Street? I warn you, it's a far sight from what it used ta be."

"No, my dear springheel Jack. The rooftops sound a lot better, right about now. If you wouldn't mind sharing, of course…"

If it was anyone else, Jack would have spat and jumped and kicked. He doesn't, though, because it is _him_. _The_ Sweeney Todd.

"'Course not."

* * *

**A/N: Two characters straight out of Penny Dreadfuls...**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	67. Chapter 67

"Hello, Carol."

"Hello, Clarabelle. How are you?"

"I am well."

"What're you up to?"

"I am listening to music."

"I guessed as much. Can I listen too?"

"Certainly."

Clarabelle offers Carol an earbud, smiling.

_Mad girl… Can you believe what they've done to you? Wouldn't they stop when you asked them to leave you alone? In all your faerie tales, how did the prince say he loved you?_

_LIAR!_

"Crucified Christ."

"Charming, isn't it?"

* * *

**A/N: Mad Girl, Acoustic Version, by Emilie Autumn.**

**Calm, peaceful, happy, and then you've got this chick metal-roaring the word 'liar' in your ear out of the blue.**

**(Sorry if it's a bit pointless. My brain's a bit scrambled from pain and exhaustion.)**

**~Mademise Morte, March 8  
**


	68. Chapter 68

He is sharpening the straight-razor quite calmly. It makes an ugly sound, a low, keening whine. Tanith is shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

It is a fairly sweet revenge. The tavern they sit in is one that he frequents, filled with macho men lookin' for a fight, and pretty girls lookin' for men, and so on so forth.

Tanith is both singularly out of place and unhappy at the stench of cheap beer.

Her own revenge is complete, though, when Fletcher walks in, and starts staring at Billy-Ray, with wide, glittering eyes, like a moe character from a shoujo manga.

* * *

**A/N: Kehe :3**

**~Mademise Morte, March 9  
**


	69. Chapter 69

"Mm…"

"…"

"_Mm_…"

"…"

"…"

"Unn…"

"M…"

"…"

"…"

* * *

Tanith Low is many things: brash, loud, violent, emotional, a few other slightly unflattering epithets. One thing she isn't, though, is disrespectful.

She looks up immensely to anyone who can beat her in a fair fight, an unfair fight even more so (for when she plays dirty, she _plays dirty_). This sometimes even crosses the line of respect into camaraderie into something softer.

Murder Rose has bested her many times over, and the third line has been crossed. Tanith Low is in _love_.

* * *

Murder Rose doesn't need nearly so many reasons, though she has compiled, retrospectively, a list.

That being Tanith Low's mouth, eyes, chest, figure-in-general, and everything else that makes Tanith Low Tanith Low.

* * *

"Ohh…"

"Mm…"

"…"

"Nn…"

* * *

The door slams open, and Billy-Ray Sanguine stares. He is summarily ignored.

* * *

**A/N: This one's a bit lengthier than usual, contains a bit more suggestiveness and a lot more yuri cuteness, all in honor of this being the 69th Poppling snippet...**

**Kehe :33**

**~Mademise Morte, March 10  
**


	70. Chapter 70

Despite coincidentally sharing a body, Darquesse and Valkyrie are completely different.

For one thing, Darquesse is a fair bit more bloodthirsty, and a lot more powerful. Another is that Valkyrie is kinder, and human. She has scruples.

Darquesse doesn't.

The most profound difference between the two, however, is that Valkyrie wouldn't be caught dead in a ripped up, bloody old Victorian wedding dress, and Darquesse would, because Darquesse is the sort of person who would have read Great Expectations, and Valkyrie isn't.

Darquesse can also walk in stiletto heels.

* * *

**A/N: Crackfic :33**

**Ooh. I wanna write a Clarabelle/Darquesse angst/tragedy/drama. Anyone who'd read it?**

**~Mademise Morte, March 11  
**


	71. Chapter 71

"Come back to me. I miss you. Please…"

"Um. No."

"Why?"

"For starters, you, my dear boy, are needlessly clingy, whiny and singularly cringe-inducing. Also, we're fightin' opposite ends of a friggin' _war_."

"Oh…"

Fletcher, it must be noted, looked absolutely devastated. Sanguine would have rolled his eyes, had he any.

* * *

**A/N: Ahahaha.**

**~Mademise Morte, March 12  
**


	72. Chapter 72

"I'm bored."

"Only boring people get bored."

"I must be an extremely boring person, then."

"Oh my God, you mean you actually didn't realize?"

"Hush, Low."

"You're the one that was complaining about being bored, Wreath."

* * *

**A/N: Kehe :3**

**~Mademise Morte, March, er... 10? 11? 12?**

**Ah, it's the 13th...  
**


	73. Chapter 73

"Chocolate for you, my love."

"Oh my God, that is so sweet! Thank you so much."

"You are very welcome."

"… By the by, why exactly are you giving me chocolates?"

"It's White Day."

"Oh yeah! March the fourteenth…"

Valkyrie, who has thus far been quiet, not wanting to disturb the blissful Tanith/Ghastly moment, speaks up. "Otherwise known as pi day."

"Huh?"

"3/14. Pi."

"Right."

* * *

**A/N:3.141592653589793...**

**~Mademise Morte, March 14  
**


	74. Chapter 74

"Hello, my dear."

"Why, hello, Gerald."

"You're looking radiant today."

"Of course. I always am, you know." Eyelids are batted elegantly.

"Oh, of course, of course."

Smirk.

"I have something to tell you…"

"Yes?"

"I love you, China."

"Everyone does."

"But, more than that."

"Of course."

* * *

**A/N: China/Thrasher :DD**

**~Mademise Morte, March 15 (Beware the ides of March!)  
**


	75. Chapter 75

Melissa Edgley frowns. She hardly ever attempts cleaning Stephanie's room, out of respect for Steph's privacy and a desire to keep her sanity intact, but she feels that she really absolutely must, since Stephanie's on holiday with some of her school friends, leaving the room deserted.

The room smells of leather, the room smells of sweat, and blood, and tears. Clothing is strewn every-which-where, haphazard. Melissa raises an eyebrow, unimpressed with her daughter's housekeeping skills.

She gets to work, folding and stripping and sweeping with a grim determination. She tries to ignore the few articles of leather clothing she's fairly certain she's never seen on her daughter, and the way the windowsill seems worn.

A few weeks later, she is introduced to a pretty, busty blonde called Tanith Low. Something clicks inside her head, and she recognizes the clothes.

* * *

**A/N: Implied valith :D**

**~Mademise Morte, March 16  
**


	76. Chapter 76

"I love you. So much."

The fire is warm, and they are cuddling in front of it. It casts a pretty glow on their faces.

"I love you, too."

"Stay with me forever? Keep me safe? Hold my heart for me?"

"Of course."

The levels of sappiness are practically unbearable at this point.

In front of the beautiful flames, Clarabelle and Fletcher huddle.

* * *

**A/N: House is being watched in front of me, and I'm getting super-stressed out by all the dying people and the misery and whatnot. I'm being existential now.**

**I wish the lovely bit of fluff I just wrote, the Pat Benatar blaring quietly from my headphones and the joys of being alive were enough to make me happy again. I suspect that I shall require a dose of TVTropes and xkcd... XD  
**

**~Mademise Morte, March 17  
**


	77. Chapter 77

The harpsichord chimes- regal, sullen. The girl sitting at it looks pensive, while the young woman leaning against the legs of the bench appears just as the harpsichord sounds. Her skin is dark as the oiled wood of the instrument, her eyes as bright as the metallic murmurs, her expression as calm and measured as the notes.

The song comes to a steady ending, and the girl who was playing stops, uncertain. "Was that alright?"

"It was lovely." Murder Rose looks up, and Murder Rose smiles.

"Thank you." Morwenna Crow is young, and she is foolish yet, and still she thinks that there is nothing nicer in the world than the smile of her beloved.

* * *

**A/N: xkcd is a great way to be cheered up. As is TVTropes. They are also both excellent ways to waste time. For the record.**

**~Mademise Morte, March 18  
**


	78. Chapter 78

Anton Shudder is tired. The day is going fairly slowly, as far as business is concerned. He is bored and he is tired.

Then a certain Texan walks in through the door, and all his exhaustion rolls away.

"Sanguine," he says, his voice courteous. "Welcome back to the Midnight Hotel."

The blond nods. "Thanks."

Shudder smiles. This will be an interesting time…

* * *

**A/N: Sanguine/Shudder :D**

**~Mademise Morte, March 19  
**


	79. Chapter 79

Being a vampire was the last thing Caelie wanted. She had a nice, normal life, after all. She was just another Edwardian-era teenager with a penchant for crossdressing and pretty, doe-like girls.

Vampirism was inconvenient. All of a sudden, her beloved become more attractive to her as a meal than as a lover, though the two hadn't exactly been mutually exclusive, prior to that. Still. It was… Distracting.

She ended up killing the pretty girl, one day.

After that, she settled permanently into her alter-ego: Caelan, a tormented soul. She did OK in his role, until she met Valkyrie Cain.

That was her downfall. That was her undoing. That was when she'd have done anything- _anything_- to become, not only human, but truly male.

* * *

**A/N: Ahahahaha.**

**~Mademise Morte, March 20  
**


	80. Chapter 80

"That's a very nice dress."

"Why, thank you, Clarabelle. I thought so too."

"It suits your eyes _perfectly_."

"Thank you."

Clarabelle smiles. "Where did you get it, may I ask?"

"I commissioned it from Ghastly. It is bullet-proof, resistant to extreme temperatures and impossible to tear or stain."

"Cool."

"Indeed." China half-laughs. "You have a nice dress too, Clarabelle. Very… Festive. I like the pattern."

"Aw, thanks!"

"I'd never have thought to combine small rabbits with crescent moons for a pattern, but it's an interesting effect all the same."

* * *

**A/N: One-hundred words worth of pointlessness ^^**

**~Mademise Morte, March 21  
**


	81. Chapter 81

_Let's play a game of break the cutie._

_Here are your playing pieces:_

_The King- slow to move, precious to the mission, the overlord and master who gets by on naught but wit. The schemer, the plotter, the one who has the most to lose and everything to gain._

_In this case, we'll try it with Thurid Guild, perhaps, or Remus Crux. Sagacious Tome, even? Dreylan Scarab?_

_The Queen- all-powerful, haughty, and rightfully so, holding as much power in one elegant fist as in her flickering tongue, seething with words, powerful, poisonous words. The true puppet-mistress of the game._

_We'll deploy China Sorrows, it seems, though Morwenna Crow or Davina Marr would serve just as well. _

_The Rooks- strong, direct, immovable, yet brutish and unintelligent. They can work wonders, but only when directed well, and at such a cost._

_Ghastly Bespoke makes a good one. Anton Shudder another. The Assassin Tesseract could serve as one, and why shouldn't there be women on this battlefield? Let's use Murder Rose._

_The Bishops- they work at things from the strangest angles, yet they are as undeniable and unswayable as Death herself. They connive, and they cheat, and yet they can always be held in check by the grandmaster King._

_We'll use Solomon Wreath, maybe, and Kenspeckle Grouse. Emmet Peregrine, naturally, and who but the Torment?_

_The Knights- bizarre, quick, jumping things, fiercely loyal to none but themselves. These are the rogues dressed up pretty, pretty enough to fool anyone who's never seen them without the armor, without the gilding light. Pick your Knights well, and you'll break the cutie yet._

_Skulduggery Pleasant suggests himself, as does Caelan. Nefarian Serpine. Even the Toxic Twins. After all, broken cuties have their uses._

_The Pawns- they are everything and nothing to this game, exactly because they can do so little and so much. After all, the game ends when all the pawns have gone, either broken, or Queens. They are everything sweet, everything lovely, until you stretch them just that little bit._

_**Bam**__. You're dead._

_Let's play this one with Valkyrie Cain, maybe, and Clarabelle. Stentor and Civet have their potential, as does Zephyr. Guild's daughter, maybe, and Sharon Wrong. Hannah Foley? Miss Nuncio? Tanith? The Sea-Hag?_

_Pick your pieces well, and start breaking.

* * *

_**A/N: The name of the game is a trope off TVTropes. Break the Cutie ^_^**

**Basically, I was reading the trope-page, and I realized that it was basically a fanfic staple of mine, so I thought I'd write this for the lulz.**

**~Mademise Morte, March 22  
**


	82. Chapter 82

Caelan moans. "Hurry up…"

"Say please."

"Please…"

"Tell me you love me."

"I love you. Marry me and sire my potential offspring."

"Fine, then…"

"…"

_**Later…**_

"You do realize, you are incapable of giving birth."

"That was a joke."

"I am aware. If you were any more imbecilic, Caelan, you wouldn't be a vampire."

"And if you sparkled, Dusk, you would be."

* * *

**A/N: Ahahaha.**

**Anyone going to participate in Script Frenzy this year? I'm thinking of doing an Asylum-verse manga...  
**

**~Mademise Morte, March 23  
**


	83. Chapter 83

"What're you doing, exactly?"

"Trying to build shelves."

"They look slanted."

"They do, rather, don't they?"

"It must be said…"

"Hm…"

"You know, my mother once told me that the two things men were good for were engines and shelves."

"Well, she obviously never met me."

"Very true. You are useless with engines, as we all know, and I am beginning to suspect that you're not very good at shelves either."

"But you love me anyway, right?"

"Well, I'm sure you're good for _something_."

"Answer me, Val…"

"Of course you would be."

* * *

**A/N: Kehe :3**

**~Mademise Morte, March 24  
**


	84. Chapter 84

"Thou a siren art- perfection incarnate."

"You really don't have to talk like that, you know. It's the twenty-first century."

"But it is the truth- verily, as I speak it, it is surely immortalized in some canon!"

"You do have a point, but, firstly, that is an extraordinarily bad attempt at an archaic syntax, and secondly, we both know full well that you weren't deaf, all the years you spent as a statue."

"Fine…" The man pouts, half-childishly, whilst sneaking a sly glance at the still vaguely-irritated China Sorrows.

* * *

**A/N: Ahaha...**

**~Mademise Morte, March 25  
**


	85. Chapter 85

As surely as Carol hates hospitals, Crystal does not like blood.

It's the color, mostly. The color, and the texture, and the smell- _oh God, the smell_- and, well, just the fact that it _is_ blood. It scares the Hell out of her.

"Get it away." She doesn't squirm, her bony limbs perfectly still, and yet the look on her face is worse, to the quietly watching Carol.

"I don't think we can, dearest Crystal."

"Magic it away, or _something._"

"We can't."

"Oh…" Crystal remains still.

"I'm sorry."

Clarabelle, next to Crystal, isn't moving either. For her, it's the sound. The dripping. It scares her.

* * *

**A/N: #shudder#**

**~Mademise Morte, March 26  
**


	86. Chapter 86

"God help me."

"Why?"

"Because, obviously, no-one else will. Hell, Fletcher, why do I have to be stuck looking after _you_?"

"Because Valkyrie and Skulduggery are out doing the detective thing, China and Kenspeckle are fed up, Ghastly's catching up on the backlogged orders, and you were just conveniently there."

"Amazingly, that almost made sense."

"I thought so."

"Doesn't make me feel any better about having to spend an afternoon with you, though."

"There are worse things in this world, I'm sure."

"Really? I've been tortured. I've fought trolls, vampires, zombies, even _Gods_. I have even, unfortunately, been forced to talk politics with the English council. None of that daunted me as much as the prospect of having to keep you intact."

"Well, screw you too."

* * *

**A/N: I need to write something all proper and crack-y now. Someone, give me an impossible pairing. I'm fed up with this slice-of-life crap :L**

**~Mademise Morte, March 27  
**


	87. Chapter 87

"D'you like needles?" Kenspeckle forces his voice to be light, off-hand, as he throttles the urge to shove the annoying person away from where he currently is staring at Kenspeckle's tidily arranged syringes.

"Yeah, dude, I, like, totally love them. It's a professional thing, you know? I do tattoos, so, like, I have an eye for needles."

"You wouldn't be the one responsible for the star on Stephanie's cheek, would you?"

"Stephanie?"

"Pretty girl. Dark hair, dark eyes, so tall, Elemental…"

"Oh, you mean Valkyrie? Skul-man's assistant?"

"Yes."

"Yeah, I did the star for her. Cute, isn't it?"

Kenspeckle mentally counts to ten.

* * *

**A/N: I wanted this to be slashy, but it ended up as more slice of life rubbish. I'll try again tomorrow...**

**~Mademise Morte, March 28  
**


	88. Chapter 88

Satin is smooth and lovely and polished and perfect. It's shiny and it's soft, and it molds itself to your will.

Velvet is soft and it is lovely, and it's not really very rough, unless you happen to touch it in the wrong way. Then it's not exactly what you'd have expected.

* * *

After years and years, ballrooms and ballrooms full of satin and velvet, she is bored. She wants something different.

Leather has its attractions, at first, but she quickly realizes that it is simply velvet with a lot less class. In the end, it's not what she was either, after.

* * *

Chiffon isn't much of anything. It doesn't catch your attention. It's insubstantial against the skin.

It's like nothing she's ever considered before.

* * *

Clarabelle is all vacancy, all bright eyes and cheer. China smiles at her.

"Has anyone ever told you how lovely you are?"

"No one that wasn't drunk at the time. I've been told I'm crazy plenty of times, though."

Dizzy, empty grin.

"Crazy is simple another way to say different. Usually."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Not at all."

"In that case, China, you are very different indeed."

It is testimony to the depths of China's infatuation that she doesn't bat an eyelid at this.

* * *

**A/N: And it is a testimony to the depths of my exhaustion that I couldn't end this in a sweeter way. XD**

**~Mademise Morte, March 29  
**


	89. Chapter 89

Murder. The willful slaughter of another human being.

Rose. A flower, often thought to be very pretty, one thought to symbolize love.

Love. A soft emotion. Often inspires murder.

Murder. The willful slaughter of another human being…

* * *

Skulduggery. Trickery or deceit.

Pleasant. What skulduggery usually isn't.

* * *

Murder Rose gives the skeleton an odd look. "You're giving me flowers." Her red lips curve, marking a perfect compromise between amusement and bewilderment.

"I am indeed."

"We are fighting different sides of a war."

"War or no war, love continues."

"What, when the war is waged for the sake of a broken love, the love continues? I find that difficult to swallow."

"Say what you like, but at least accept the flowers. They'd suit you."

"Fine, but I'm not going to be insufferably twee and put them in my hair or around my room or look at them and swoon or anything, okay?"

"What you do with them is your prerogative."

When she is quite sure he's gone, she looks at the bright red blooms, and her eyelids fall shut. She half-swoons.

* * *

**A/N: Kehe XD**

**~Mademise Morte, March 30  
**


	90. Chapter 90

We dance together, and she sings a jig, her tone switching and changing with every soft butterfly-kiss of pressure I exert on her.

Her warm exterior, an elegantly shaded golden-brown, is shining and bright, her voice clearer than a bell. She glows in the lights- if she were any less of a Lady, one might say she looked like she was sweating.

She's named Valkyrie, and well it suits her. Her soprano tones fill the air as perfectly as any Wagnerian singer could manage.

"Valkyria sounded lovely." Skulduggery Pleasant approaches me, half silent on the wings of the night. The dance is over, the performance done, and I am languishing against the soft furnishings provided. Valkyrie is at my side.

"Thanks." My voice is all nonchalance.

"You've improved as a player. Really grown."

"You're too kind, I'm sure."

"Perhaps." He looks at me with quick eyes. "May I try her?"

"Of course." I pick her up, my fingers clasping her neck delicately, and I hand her over, along with the bow. He holds the viola still a moment, and he smiles.

"The rumors were true, then. You've found it. Amaranth wood."

"She'll live longer than the world itself."

He plays, fingers dancing over the strings, and I know, in that moment, that every achievement I have ever marked out with her, every note I've thought well of, was nothing- _nothing_, compared to what he could have done.

He finishes playing, and he hands her back. "Thank you for that. You're a lucky man, Wreath, blessed to own such a beauty."

"She belongs to no man, Skulduggery, but I thank you for gracing her with such praise."

He bows. He leaves.

* * *

**A/N: The question, 'what the hell?', are you thinking it?**

**Good.**

**~Mademise Morte, March 31  
**


	91. Chapter 91

"You're crazy."

"And you're stupid, sweetie. Get on with your work." Davina Marr reaches out a caressing hand.

Fletcher Renn frowns, but continues transcribing the words. "I'm not useless, you know."

"I'm sure you're very useful. You'd make an excellent diversion, a great scapegoat, an amazing human sacrifice…"

* * *

**A/N: Ah, the joys of torturing Fletcher...**

**~Mademise Morte, April 1  
**


	92. Chapter 92

Scream. Scream. Scream. Her voice is raw, empty, pained. Scream. Scream. Scream.

Get away from her. Leave her to her misery. Stop bothering her. She's not an animal in a zoological exhibit- don't poke her. Go away.

Go away. Go away. Go away.

Around her, the mirror-world is cold and glassy and two-dimensional. She loves it and hates it, and more importantly, cannot leave it of her own accord. She screams, begging to be left alone, until the moment she's called out.

Then she'll live someone else's life, and she'll go back to screaming as soon as it's over. Always alone, never left to herself.

She screams to drown out the voices.

* * *

**A/N: Ahh... :3  
**

**~Mademise Morte, April 2  
**


	93. Chapter 93

Religion is a difficult thing. She was raised believing, and now it's sort of difficult to keep on with the whole faith thing.

It broke her, when she heard of her childhood friends dying. Something inside her snapped. She couldn't believe anymore.

Being joined to a Remnant was amazing, because, for a while, she could believe in something again. The remnant left her, though, and she discovered that belief was gone once more, because she had killed the man she admired most.

Religion is difficult, and she's basically given up now. What point is there in believing, when there's nothing to believe?

Nothing's holy. Nothing's sacred. Nothing lives forever.

* * *

**A/N: 'Specially not Kenspeckle, as she discovered. He was nothing against the knives.**

**~Mademise Morte, April 3  
**


	94. Chapter 94

Hearing of Kenspeckle's death breaks the Nye's still-beating heart. It freezes, bent over the latest corpse, as it hears the news.

It then puts the dead body aside as neatly and tidily as it can, washes off all its scalpels, and starts to attempt to groom itself, the first time it has tried in years. Washed and scrubbed, with hair half-heartedly de-tangled and the final remnants of the thread that worked its way through his face removed, it was actually moderately presentable. It wept as it burnt the scraps of thread.

They were all it had to remember the Professor by, after all.

After that, it went out for a spot of grave-robbing.

* * *

**A/N: And after _that_, a spot of scientific necromancy. :DD**

**~Mademise Morte, April 4  
**


	95. Chapter 95

Unicorns.

Okay, here we go. Unicorns… And… Rainbows.

Rainbows. Rainbows are good. Rainbows are a gay pride symbol, occasionally. Other than that, they're really quite pretty. Hm. Thrasher has a rainbow tie. Make of that what you will.

Scapegrace does not, of course, wear a rainbow tie. Firstly, because rainbows are beneath him. Secondly, he doesn't really go in for ties.

Mm. Ties. Bondage…

Scapegrace doesn't go in much for bondage either. Despite his weak, pathetic attempts at Sadistic-Seme-ness, he's really much more of a Dramatic-Uke, but the sort that doesn't like being tied up.

Oh wait, that's the point, isn't it?

* * *

**A/N: The _delightful_ miss Yvette Quick told me to stop it with the depressing dead Kenspeckle crap. So I did. And apparently now there's a genre-savvy slashficcer in the Zombie Horde. Just go with it, okay?**

**~Mademise Morte, April 5  
**


	96. Chapter 96

I've been watching you. I've been watching, and I've been waiting, and I've been wondering what you've been thinking, wondering what clever little things are running through your pretty little head.

Stalkerish? Well, yes. Definitely. What can I say? I'm a vampire. It's in my nature.

It's sweet, watching you getting all dolled up to go on dates. It's fun, watching you interact with others, even though I'm quietly wishing it was me you were with.

I love you, I really do. I could make you safe. I could make your life perfect.

I could really be good for you, Fletcher. I swear I could.

* * *

**A/N: Caetcher: the only time I can stand the two idiots...**

**~Mademise Morte, April 6  
**


	97. Chapter 97

Innocence. Purity. Not quite the same thing as loveliness, but close enough.

Glittering, bright eyes, in far too many colors. White and gold fabrics, shimmering and skimming about, unerring perfection. Soft, yielding skin.

Angelic? A fallen angel, perhaps.

A desperate angel. Like in the song.

Maturity. Age. Beauty. Nothing close to wisdom, but that's of no account.

Dark hair and red lips- _red_. The color of blood. Maybe you see some of that on the battlefield, but the greatest battles are fought offstage. They, too, involve blood.

Blood, blood, blood.

It gleams on her lips, in that red, as she smiles. A calm smile. A calculating one. Her soft clothes are stained, and the impact is striking.

An angel? Always.

A broken one.

The innocence she has forsaken is in the other's eyes now. They are soft.

China leans down to kiss Clarabelle. The blood mingles and mixes.

They'll never get back what they've lost.

* * *

**A/N: They'll try anyway.**

**~Mademise Morte, April 7  
**


	98. Chapter 98

"Today. I'll confess my love for him today."

"Crazy. He's totally gonna kill you, you know."

"Course he won't."

Fletcher walked into the Midnight Hotel, grinning with arrogance. With softly bated breath, Valkyrie and Clarabelle started counting the seconds.

One minute and 39.863 seconds later, Fletcher Renn was forcibly ejected from the Midnight Hotel. Apparently Anton Shudder had not reciprocated.

* * *

**A/N: Ahahaha~**

**Credit for the idea goes to Gr4Yr4iN. Well, actually all he did was mention Shudder. Still.  
**

**~Mademise Morte, April 8  
**


	99. Chapter 99

"You're beautiful."

"Did you ever doubt it, my dear?"

"Well, I knew you were hot, sure, but beautiful's a different thing entirely. It's not really what I'd associate with leather and blades and things."

"Oh, really?"

"I should probably shut up now."

"Do."

"But really, it's like you're an entirely different person in this color, in this fabric."

"Navy blue velvet. Expensive and decadent as Hell, but I'm glad you like it."

"Anything looks good on you, though, Morwenna."

"Except you, I daresay. I truly doubt you would."

"Morwenna!"

"Yes, Thurid?"

* * *

**A/N: Leather and blades and things? Morwenna Crow? What the Hell?**

**Are you thinking that? Good.**

**AUs for the win.**

**~Mademise Morte, April 9  
**


	100. Chapter 100

"You're cute."

"That," she spat from between clenched teeth, "Is possibly the most misleading statement in the history of misleading statements."

"Jeez, it was just a compliment. No need to get all fired up over it."

"Cute? A compliment? If you really think so, then you seriously have another think coming."

"Don't be so mean."

"Don't keep telling me what to do."

"I take it back. You're not cute at all."

"Thank you, then." She smiled almost angelically at Fletcher Renn, confusing him a great deal.

After all, Melancholia refuses to be associated with the word 'cute'.

* * *

**A/N: Melancholia/Fletcher :33**

**I am impossibly happy that fanfic dot net is back online. I was slowly breaking, yesterday, trying to get in... 'Twas agony.**

**~Mademise Morte, April 11  
**


	101. Chapter 101

The night is shadowy, every corner inscrutable. The darkness drapes itself onto her, casting shades onto the delicate outlines of her soft flesh- her cheeks, rouged so delicately, her arms, bared to the elements, her tightly-clothed torso…

It hides the woman leaning against the wall, eyes gleaming like a star sapphire in the night, though it does nothing against the quietly muttered chant that allows her to hear every heartbeat.

"Tanith," she gasps, as the woman darts out of the shadows, to smile at her.

"Darquesse. I thought I might find you here." The voice is calm, professional, and yet it has a touch of warmth in it, a sort of familiarity.

"I'm not she. Not yet."

"Is there anything I could do to change that?

"May be."

They kiss, and Valkyrie gives in. Gives up.

Darquesse remains.

* * *

**A/N: You know, I absolutely love the word 'inscrutable'.**

**It's almost as nice as 'ineffable'.**

**Almost.**

**~Mademise Morte, April 11  
**


	102. Chapter 102

"You were in his mind once." China's eyes are large, accusatory. The Remnant that inhabits the random sorcerer off the street nods.

"Bring him back. Give me his voice. Please."

"You know I cannot, Miss Sorrows."

Her eyes flash. So empty. So dangerous. "Try."

The Remnant-controlled body flees.

It has the luck of being run down by a car just as it has gotten out of China's range of spell-firing. It's an ignoble death, maybe, but nowhere as ignoble as it would have been, if China had gotten to him.

China realizes this, but she swears anyway. Her last possible connection to the late Solomon Wreath is gone.

* * *

**A/N: Urgh. I need to work on this Remnant-writing thing more.**

**=.="**

**~Mademise Morte, April 12  
**


	103. Chapter 103

**A/N: Major spoilers for books 1-5.**

* * *

She has a box of chocolates before her. They are milky, pale, a mere thirty-five percent, filled with a fine, silky, soft ganache of mint cream. Mouth-wateringly delicious, she knows them to be, though somewhat pricey. She had the money to spend, after Christmas, in any case.

Christmas seems so long away, now.

She has a sheet of blank paper at hand. She shakes slightly as she starts writing the names.

She starts small. She starts with the ones who died early on, just when she was becoming part of the magic. _Gordon Edgley. Serpine. The man of fire. Eachan Meritorious. Morwenna Crow._

She keeps going. _The Infected- far too many of them. Stentor. Civet. Zephyr. Sev. Baron Vengeous._

_Patrick Hanratty. Mr Bliss. Murder Rose. Gruesome Krav. _As the names become more recent, they sting more.

_Burgundy Dalrymple. Corrival Deuce. Davina Marr. Miss Nuncio. Mr Jib. Tesseract. Myron Stray. Kenspeckle Grouse._

Some of the names, she doesn't care about, but for some, she cares too much.

She breaks down, and she cries.

* * *

**A/N: The list isn't comprehensive. Just what I could pluck off the top of my head. XD**

**~Mademise Morte, April 13  
**


	104. Chapter 104

The moon is set bright against the sky. She sings, indulgent and sweet.

Beneath her, the vampires run.

Traditionally, a vampire can have no master, no mistress. There is nothing and no one that can order about a vampire once it has changed its form. This is different, though.

They are bent and broken to Darquesse's will- yes, her, the one who looks just like a normal, cheery teen, the one in the black clothing with the red sleeves, the one with a steady boyfriend and a girl as close to her as a sister, the one who kissed her family goodbye. Yes, her. The normal girl.

It is at Darquesse's command that they ravage and plunder and hurt and kill and kill and kill. All at the order of a normal little girl.

* * *

**A/N: Normality's a bitch.**

**~Mademise Morte, April 14  
**


	105. Chapter 105

"It's really cold."

"It is, isn't it?" China smiles. Her cheeks are reddened- partly from the cold, yes, but not completely.

"D'you want to go back inside?"

"Not particularly. Why, do you?"

"Nah." She breathes in and out, watching idly as her breath curls about.

It is quite a surprise when China kisses her. Not an unwelcome one, mind, but a surprise all the same.

After all, no one expects a kiss from China Sorrows. No one objects, either- not even one so stubborn as Valkyrie Cain.

* * *

**A/N: I think that, on the scale of pairing-weirdness, Valkyrie/China receives a mere 'meh'.**

**~Mademise Morte, April 15  
**


	106. Chapter 106

"So… You're twins?"

Carol blinks at the sheer inanity of the statement, and Crystal surreptitiously looks around for a cat.

"Yes. We are twins."

"Oh. Uh… That's cool."

It is Crystal's turn to blink, and Carol's turn to wonder if he is mentally retarded.

"I suppose."

"So, uh, do you, like, finish each other's sentences or whatever?"

"Sometimes."

"When we really-"

"Want-"

"To."

"Stop gaping, it makes you look like a f-"

"-Ish. A fish." Crystal casts Carol a baleful glare.

* * *

**A/N: A fish. Absolutely a fish.**

**Really.**

**~Mademise Morte, April 16  
**


	107. Chapter 107

The light sparkles and gleams. It gives everything such a _shine_, such a _glow_, such a _vividity._

It outlines, it highlights, it brightens the scar trailing down his face, makes the blood and gore all that much more apparent.

It curls over the other man's straight razor, and it slides over his eyeglasses.

It gilds their outlines as they kiss.

* * *

**A/N: Beh, this one's too short :/**

**~Mademise Morte, April 17  
**


	108. Chapter 108

Saint Philomena is widely considered to be a saint of the 'virgin martyr' variety. Dear Philomena Random did not consider this when she took the name, though when she heard of this, she did note, with a wry chagrin, that that meaning had about as much merit as any other. Not so much the 'martyr' part, but the other.

No, she took Philomena because she was told that it was her mother's name, and that was sort of a valuable thing to her.

_Random_. That one wasn't for quite the same reason as the Douglas Adams character, who was conceived with sperm from a bank, possibly from any stranger off the street. Close enough, though. Philomena's parents when she was growing up were far from her biological set.

A random baby, sent to them from a hospital. It was pure chance- it could have been any other, from amongst the hundreds of infants.

Names are powerful. To a certain extent, they affect your destiny. If a cocky young man hadn't chosen _Skulduggery Pleasant_, for example, he might never have died, or maybe never been resurrected, or maybe returned all the same, but fleshed, or boneless.

Her name makes sure she never enters a relationship of love. Her name ensures that she'll never stand out, never be remembered, because she's just a random person off the street.

A sad existence, you might think, but she deals with it.

* * *

**A/N: Random would also be a good word for this snippet...**

**~Mademise Morte, April 18  
**


	109. Chapter 109

The vampire is a creature of the night, and the almost-human is a creature of the day. Dusk is neither. Dusk is the being that exists in the gaps, the chinks, the spaces between. On moonless nights and lunar eclipses, Dusk is nothing but Dusk.

The Necromancer only exists when the moon is up, when he can feed upon Her powers, Her strength. All the rest of time, when the sun's up, he's nothing but a human with a Necromancer artifact, which is why their artifacts matter so much to them. What is it that exists in the time between, you ask?

Everything. Nothing. A soul. Not a soul. A human. Not a human. It's not easy to explain.

The lunar eclipse is far from unexpected. They were expecting. What they weren't expecting, though, was seeing each other.

The moment had a dreamlike quality to it, the murmur of deepest, most desperate fantasy. It was real all the same.

* * *

**A/N: Dusk/Wreath. :D**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	110. Chapter 110

"Stephanie…"

"Yes, mum?" Her tone is friendly, and yet her stance is defensive, her shoulders turned and her face hidden by her hair.

"You know that your father and I love you very much, right?"

"Of course I do." There's a snap of impatience to it, but she attempts a weak smile. Her mother returns it.

"That's good, then."

She doesn't kill the world, in the end. Not literally. No, she kills everything that _was_ her world. Her friends, her family, everyone she ever cared for…

Even herself.

* * *

**A/N: Sort of a twisted thing of that Indian myth where the two brothers challenge each other to a race around the world, and one goes around very fast, and one just circles their parents. I seriously cannot remember the name of that one. I swear, it's much cuter than I make it sound.  
**

**~Mademise Morte, April 20  
**


	111. Chapter 111

The moon gets a lot of airtime in these, mostly because the author sees it a lot. The moon has ever been a powerful thing, after all, equal at least to its counterpart, the sun.

The reason why said sun doesn't get so much attention is mainly that the author doesn't see it much. She has realized she's been neglecting it, though, so here it is.

The star Sol is overly bright, and Melancholia swears irritably, trying to shield herself from it. This effort is unsuccessful.

Out of the earth rises a man, wearing sunglasses and a hat. She practically swoons when she sees him- not from shock, not from lust, but a desperate want for the hat, which looks like it would be good shade.

She steals it from him using her Necromantic powers and she runs off as fast as she can. He stares, extremely confused.

* * *

**A/N: Pure. Bleeding. Crack.**

**:DD**

**~Mademise Morte, April 21  
**


	112. Chapter 112

"The Diablerie? Really, China?" Murder frowns, tossing long hair back. China smiles.

"What's wrong with it?" There's a brittle edge to her voice.

"Well, diablerie's a noun. It sounds weird with a 'the' tacked on to it."

"Well, it's my group, and I can name it as I like."

"I'm not sure if I want to be in a group called the _Diablerie_, though…"

"…"

"Don't smile like that, China, it's creepy."

"…"

"Okay! Fine! Whatever! I'll be in the _Diablerie_!"

"So glad you're seeing things my way."

* * *

**A/N: He better kill China off, so that I can write realm-of-the-dead China/Murder yuri...**

**Oh, wait, that's what AUs are for! ^.^**

**~Mademise Morte, April 22  
**


	113. Chapter 113

The old class of aristocrats, the old, blue-blooded sorcerers, the ones who were raised on tales of the Faceless Ones. They were once the ones who made up the Councils worldwide.

This is no longer, since the Faceless Ones went out of fashion. Most of the Councils are now composed of slightly younger ones- not by much, but enough.

Dexter Vex curses his luck as he stares at the leaders of the English Sanctuary. These are probably the last ones outside of Asia, he thinks. Just his luck.

There is, he notes, what could be an obscure relative of Bliss's or China's there, next to a shifty-eyed Necromancer and a rather dodgy-looking old man from nowhere in particular.

His proposal is summarily ignored, to no great surprise. As he turns to leave, though, he's accosted by a blonde woman with a sword at her waist.

"C'mon," she murmurs, smiling, "There are ways to get around their orders."

He stifles a laugh.

* * *

**A/N: Pointlessness and Vex/Low- joy.**

**~Mademise Morte, April 23  
**


	114. Chapter 114

"I've missed you, Skulduggery."

"Good to hear."

"Why? Is it because you take some cruel, twisted pleasure out of my misery?"

"Not really. It's nice knowing I was missed."

"Oh. Okay then."

"For what it's worth, Ghastly, I missed you too."

"Uh-huh…"

* * *

**A/N: We all make Ghastly the bitch, don't we? :L**

**~Mademise Morte, April 24  
**


	115. Chapter 115

Thurid Guild has a daughter. She is of an unnaturally cheery disposition, with eyes that are much too wide and much too bright, and a smile that is vaguely reminiscent of some psychopath's.

She has everything. An influential father, a powerful mother, a rich family in general, looks, wits… _Everything_. She's a perfect little doll, and her father's pride.

She's not even particularly rebellious. She's happy about her life.

That is, until she meets Billy-Ray Sanguine. Then everything goes to Hell. In a handbasket.

* * *

**A/N: Emphasis on 'handbasket'.**

**~Mademise Morte, April 25  
**


	116. Chapter 116

Anton Shudder has been the owner of the Midnight Hotel for many years, and he's gotten used to it, to a certain extent. You get all types there, but he thinks he's seen most of them. He can afford to drift in and out of his work, because he knows exactly how everything's going to go.

The one thing he never expected, though, absolutely never expected, was having the most beautiful woman in the world as a guest.

Especially not in this state- covered in blood, with clothing torn and hair a mess.

"Can I help you, China?" He rushes to her, all concern and adoration.

"Let's see, Shudder," she says, quite coldly. "You can get me a room, and you can stop groping me, and you can bugger off."

He does so.

* * *

**A/N: I love that 'bugger' is exactly as profane as, hm, a certain other word that starts with _f_, but 'bugger' can be used in a T-rated work/PG13 work, whilst that other word cannot.**

**Also, I like how it sounds. XD**

**~Mademise Morte, April 26  
**


	117. Chapter 117

"Hi Melancholia!"

"… Hello…"

"How are you today?"

"I am well…"

"Yay! Pachi, pachi, pachi!" The sound effects accompanied claps- Clarabelle much resembles a certain animated tsundere. Melancholia is irrationally and suddenly terrified. She backs away as quickly as she can.

* * *

**A/N: If you don't watch Lucky Star, then the sheer force of the punctuation should be enough to frighten you.**

**~Mademise Morte, April 27  
**


	118. Chapter 118

"Oh, for the love of mercy…"

"Dear God, that is just…"

The looks of revulsion on their faces were identical. It would have been quite amusing, had it not been for the cause of their distress. It was almost worse than it would have been if they had discovered Valduggery fanfiction. It was still pretty damn bad.

Fangirl-enforced Sanguine/Dusk. Valkyrie fought away the urge to throw up.

* * *

**A/N: Heh XD**

**~ Mademise Morte, April 28  
**


	119. Chapter 119

This is too bloody sappy. Why the Hell am I here? My magical life started with a funeral. I don't see why it has to include weddings, too.

She's forced me into a dress. A _dress_, for God's sake. This is beyond ridiculous. I am Valkyrie Cain. I do not _wear_ dresses.

Oh God. She's started crying. She's Tanith Low, she's in a wedding dress, and she's crying about getting married. What the Hell has happened? Is this some complex illusion of some persuasion?

No?

FML.

* * *

**A/N: I open FaceBook. **

**My feed. Spammed. Page after page of people blithering about the Royal Wedding. :L**

**So, um, that's totally my excuse for this snippet. I've been driven a bit mad by all this.**

**~Mademise Morte, April 29  
**


	120. Chapter 120

The cathedral offers some rather impressive echoes. It's all very dramatic, and his footsteps bounce about a great deal. It is rather a nice thing, to be able to be a showman again.

He's playing against another master tonight, and won't that be fun?

Solomon Wreath folds his arms. His leather shoes are hand-stitched, exquisite, and his clothing is tailored to perfection. If he doesn't look amazing, he thinks slightly grimly, then no-one does.

He sighs as Dusk enters. Fine, perhaps _he_ does too. Still.

* * *

**A/N: Belladonna. Arnica. More Belladonna. More Arnica. Yet more Belladonna.  
**

**Wish I had Hypericum. That's meant to be good for dental pains.**

**~Mademise Morte, April 30  
**


	121. Chapter 121

The thing that Valkyrie misses the most about being normal? The fact that she could actually go a day without fretting over things like the imminent destruction of the world.

Well, sure, it's not always this bad, but there are times when she wishes that all this weight could be taken off her shoulders. No Young Person should have to carry so much responsibility.

Then she meets one of her old classmates, and they're all incredibly stupid, alcoholic retards with not future, and then she becomes really very content with her lot in life, apocalyptic worries and all.

* * *

**A/N: These days, I seem to have to write something incredibly inane before I can do a proper(ish) snippet. This means I spend twice as much time on Poppling updates than usual.  
**

**What do you mean, you want to see the proper snippet?**

**Oh, and it's already month five of Poppling-ness. Time flies, ne?  
**

**~Mademise Morte, May 1  
**


	122. Chapter 122

The games-shop is brightly lit. It plays music from anime soundtracks and eurodance at equal volume. It blares from strategically placed speakers.

The girl at the counter is the very definition of moe-moe in her amaloli ruffles and her knee socks. Her syrupy golden hair has been tucked up artfully-yet-demurely, and her make-up is applied with an expert hand.

The customers are staring at her with just as much lust with which they regard the merchandise- not just video games, but figures, manga, light novels, trading cards…

"Fletcher! What the Hell are you doing here?"

"Wha? Oh, um, hey Val. I'm, uh, buying, uh… Stuff…?"

"And you, Clarabelle?"

Blink, blink, shoujo sparkles, blink. "Part-time job, sweet."

"God, I'm surrounded by nerds."

"So, Valkyrie, what are _you_ doing here?"

"..."

* * *

**A/N: So, this is shitty unless you're into the whole anime AU thing, but the thing is, I've got five minutes, a headache, the remnants of a cold, pain from newly-applied braces and what is quite possibly food poisoning, so I am seriously not in the mood to do anything even vaguely intellectual. Actually, before I was coherent enough to do the snippet, I was just typing out profanities. This is an improvement, trust me.**

**R.I.P. Hideto Matsumoto. Pink Spider T^T  
**

**~Mademise Morte, May 2  
**


	123. Chapter 123

Long, lithe fingers twist into hair, tugging the other closer, closer, _closer_, tongues moving into the (arguably) overly passionate kiss. China weighs the satisfaction of booting the couple out of her library against the trouble it would be.

One of her bookshelves groans alarmingly as the kissing pair leans against it, and the books threaten to fall. She grits her teeth, and prepares the spells that will forcibly eject them.

Said spells work splendidly, though Fletcher and Caelan don't particularly seem to notice the change in their surroundings.

* * *

**A/N: Heh ^^**

**~Mademise Morte, May 3  
**


	124. Chapter 124

"Let's get smashed." She grins, and it's wide and impish and entirely exhausted. She _needs_ alcohol. Or caffeine. Caffeine would work too.

"Sure. Shall we go?"

"You're meant to look disapproving," she says absently as she grabs her coat. "You're meant to tell me that I shouldn't be drinking."

"Well, you _are_ legal, after all." He takes his own coat, and smiles thinly.

"I know. Thought you'd be more a stick in the mud."

"Don't confuse me with Skulduggery."

She frowns. "I'd never."

The next day, they get the tip-off that eventually leads them to Skulduggery Pleasant. It's too late for her to ever go back to him, though. She's too caught up with Solomon Wreath.

* * *

**A/N: I seriously miss the days when wreathkyrie was popular. The one major reason why I hate Caelan? Valan replaced wreathkyrie.**

**~Mademise Morte, May 4  
**


	125. Chapter 125

"I don't usually like letting vampires into the Library. Nothing personal, but they _never_ return the books. They're usually dead before they can, of course, but that's no excuse." China smiles the sort of smile that communicates that it really isn't, and _no_, of course she's not joking, why would she joke about books?

"It's a rare event that spurs a vampire to reading. Maybe that's why." He smiles, and his tone is polite, and he is absolutely not resisting the temptation to tear her throat out.

No, really. She has a set of wards situated about the library that exterminate all bloodlust.

"Maybe. I still don't trust vampires. Nothing personal." She flashes him that grin again, the extremely annoying one.

When she dies at the hands of one, it does nothing to help his case, and yet Caelan becomes a regular leaver-of-flowers at the grave of the most beautiful woman in the world.

* * *

**A/N: It's not surprising, mind, because that is one truly massive stack of flowers. All her admirers are too afraid of her rising to _not_ leave flowers.**

**~Mademise Morte, May 5  
**


	126. Chapter 126

"Why, hello, Davina. I was not expecting to meet you."

"Neither I you. What do you want?"

"Why do you automatically assume I want something?"

"You're talking to me, not killing me."

"Ah…"

* * *

**A/N: Murder Rose and Davina Marr. If they had ever gotten together, the world wouldn't have survived. :')**

**~Mademise Morte, May 6  
**


	127. Chapter 127

"Are these for me?" The words are tinged with a perfectly balanced incredulity.

"Indeed they are."

"Thank you. That's… Really thoughtful." The vampire looks somewhat askance at the box of chocolates.

The Texan with the sunglasses grins.

* * *

**A/N: New second-favorite pairing, right here.**

**Sanguine/Caelan :33**

**~Mademise Morte, May 7  
**


	128. Chapter 128

Melissa stares at Stephanie, aghast. Her lip is bloodied, her eye is blackened, her clothing is far from immaculate, or, come to that, intact, and she appears to be bruised extensively.

"_What the Hell happened_?"

Stephanie looks towards the floor as she shuffles off to her room. "Went to a rock concert…"

* * *

**A/N: The pitiful thing is that she isn't even _joking._**

**~Mademise Morte, May 8**


	129. Chapter 129

Fletcher stares at the hotel ceiling. It is newly painted, and it is not very interesting. It is the one thing he can focus on to get away from the sounds.

He had been told that it was a good hotel, a nice, shiny, new one. Unfortunately, he was told this in the company of Ghastly and Skulduggery.

He stifles a shriek of annoyance as the noises go up a notch, and adds a pillow to the freshly improvised sound-blocking system, where it joins earplugs, headphones and power metal. It is still insufficient.

* * *

**A/N: Heh XD**

**Hey, is anyone else having issues with the site? I can't upload new documents (got this one through exporting an old one), and my PMs are acting all weird, stacking up and refusing to mark themselves as read...**

**~Mademise Morte, May 9  
**


	130. Chapter 130

Clarabelle is grinning. The grin is manic.

Caelan is _frightened_, and he clutches tighter at his girlfriend's arm. "_What_?" said girlfriend hisses. Caelan nods at the manic-grinning-girl.

"You're not meant to be rude. I'm only letting you follow me here because you backed me up on the whole 'no meeting my parents' thing."

"Oh, so one inane social gathering is replaced by another? I see what you did there…"

"For the love of _God_, Cae, could you please _pretend _not to be an Internet geek who spends his free afternoons on the /b/ boards on 4chan?"

"Oh, is that why he's like that?" Valkyrie walks up to them and offers them a glinty-teeth-smile. "Hello, Caelan. Hello, sister. Nice to see you here."

* * *

**A/N: 4chan, it melts your mind.**

**~Mademise Morte, May 10  
**


	131. Chapter 131

"Master!"

"Yes, Thrasher?"

"I've found her! Someone who has the power to fix us!"

"_Really_, Thrasher? Excellent work. Who is it, by the way?"

"Someone called Sofia Toil."

"… Hell…"

* * *

**A/N: Heh XD**

**Uh... She _is_ named Sofia Toil, right?  
**

**~Mademise Morte, May 11  
**


	132. Chapter 132

"Leave me alone, Armiger. You're being annoying."

"Cothurnus-"

"I mean it. Leave me alone. I don't need a boyfriend."

"Oh? So you got together with Dexter Vex after all?"

"None of your business. Go away."

* * *

**A/N: Shame on you lot. Sofia Toil of Oregon, much like Armiger Fop and Cothurnus Ode, was one of those whom Vaurien Scapegrace tried to kill.**

**~Mademise Morte, April 12  
**


	133. Chapter 133

She is not sure what it is exactly that makes him so very enticing. The lack of flesh, maybe? The promise of differentness? Is it his wit? His intelligence? She has no idea, but she is sure to note down all the possibilities in any case.

Next to her, Valkyrie snorts. "He's not intelligent at all."

"He seems it, though."

"He isn't. Really, Clarabelle, I find your crush on my mentor extremely creepy."

"Thanks ever so much for saying that."

* * *

**A/N: It's Friday the thirteenth. Happy farming! ^.^**

**~Mademise Morte, May 13  
**


	134. Chapter 134

"Where are you?" Her voice cracks on the words, just as her composure does. She is shuddering and shaking, and she is crying. Her coping mechanisms with regard to grief are absolutely _dreadful_.

She doesn't expect an answer, and she doesn't get one. Silence rings through the broken world.

When she has given up all hope, slumped against the bloodied ground, he appears, and he smiles. "Sorry I'm late," he says delicately.

"What the Hell was that? Another _lesson_?"

"I wish it was. I was actually being tortured."

"Oh…"

"It's of no account. Why did you want me?"

She laughs in tear-stained bursts. "That is quite possibly the most stupid thing I ever heard."

He shrugs. "Take that as a lesson. Even one as amazing as I can be idiotic. You know, sometimes. Occasionally."

"Shut up," she groans.

They kiss.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, I seriously missed valduggery.**

**By the by, you know I have a valduggery c2, right? I thought this would be the best place to ask for help. Thing is, the fandom is expanding quite rapidly, and I'm not sure I have the kind of time and stamina it would need to go through it and look for all the valduggery stories again. So, anyone want to be part of the staff? XD**

**~Mademise Morte, April 14  
**


	135. Chapter 135

She is slumped over her desk, eyes screwed tightly shut, brows furrowed and shoulders tense. She is exhausted, and yet she cannot bring herself to fall asleep. She knows, just knows, that there is someone _watching_…

If she had had access to the series of books written by one Derek Landy, she would have thought it was a certain vampire. If she had had the intelligence to just look out of her damn window, she would have known that Fletcher had knocked out said vampire and was watching her instead.

Either way, she would not have been happy.

* * *

**A/N: Meh.**

**~Mademise Morte, May 15  
**


	136. Chapter 136

"Wow, you almost look respectable in that get up."

"I would thank you, _Sanguine_, for remembering that I am generally considered to be quite respectable, regardless of clothing." Imperious glance.

The blond shrugs. "I dunno, I've never heard anything about _that_." If the Texan had had eyes, he would have rolled them.

"Don't be impertinent."

"Stop acting like you've got a stick up your ass."

"Shut up."

"Why should I?"

"Because I told you to."

Springheel Jack throttles the urge to strangle the both of them. "Hush, lovebirds!" he yells at Dusk and Billy-Ray, neither of whom look particularly abashed.

* * *

**A/N: Did you expect it? Be honest, I'm planning deceptions of an intricacy I'm not sure I can pull off.**

**~Mademise Morte, May 16  
**


	137. Chapter 137

"Is something wrong, Valkyrie?"

"Well, yes, actually."

"What?"

"Our society is collapsing! The world is rapidly overflowing with idiots and general stupidity! The Internet mindset is taking over things even offline! Homophobia still exists! Magic is the least of our problems, we've basically screwed up the climate, nature is dying, and _no one gives a damn_."

"Uh-huh. Sure. Whatever."

"…"

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, so I've been reading too much xkcd recently. Also, I officially need to stop going onto facebook fanpages, the intelligence levels there depress me. Also, I need to find a better way to come out.**

**Also, the world's actually a pretty nice place, so get to work on your random acts of kindness.**

**And look after nature, or it'll kill you. Or maybe it'll kill you regardless, I don't really know.**

**~Mademise Morte, May 17  
**


	138. Chapter 138

"Oh my, how cute!"

"What."

"That's really cute, don't you think?"

"Clarabelle, I have no idea how to break this to you, but that's a _hound of the Black Moon_. It is not cute at all. It can tear your head off."

"Only once every so often."

"Yes, _tonight._"

"It's still cute."

"How you've survived to this age, I have no notion…"

* * *

**A/N: She's actually the Incarnation of Idiocy.**

**~Mademise Morte, May 18  
**


	139. Chapter 139

Haemophobia is the excessive and irrational fear of blood, the Sanguine Humor. Clarabelle is well aware of this, but she still holds that she most definitely does not suffer from haemophobia, as there is absolutely nothing irrational about her aversion to the substance.

Haemophobia has been theorized to be related to childhood traumas. A genetic link has also been proposed, but not much stock is put in this.

Clarabelle would certainly have enough reason to be haemophobic, but she most adamantly denies it.

All the same, she can't help but feel a little faint when she returns to the Hibernian and finds the mutilated corpse of one Kenspeckle Grouse.

* * *

**A/N: And to balance this one out, tomorrow's will (probably) be quite cute.**

**:D  
**

**~Mademise Morte, May 19  
**


	140. Chapter 140

_What is the purpose, the __**meaning**__, of our time here on this earth? Is it academic achievement? The happiness of others? Our own joy? _

_What is the telos of human life?_

She has had a long time to consider it, and isn't really very much closer to the answer. She suspects, though, that it might be love.

Kiss after kiss after kiss, accompanied by honeyed words and sweet glances. If that isn't the purpose of _her_ life, at least, then she doesn't know what could be. Having said that, Valkyrie Cain isn't really known much for her philosophy.

It doesn't matter. Skulduggery Pleasant isn't either.

* * *

**A/N: This marks the start of a run of Valkyrie/Skulduggery snippets, incidentally.**

**~Mademise Morte, May 20  
**


	141. Chapter 141

"_No_, Miss Knight, we are _not_ going to attend the Sanctuary party. Especially not together."

"Whyever not?" The ridiculously idealized pre-teen curls a ringlet of dark hair around her finger, opening large eyes wider.

"Firstly, because the Sanctuary is an organization created to protect mortals from being killed and sorcerers from being discovered. There is no way in Hell that they would throw a party."

"But-"

"Obviously, a fangirl from outside the fourth wall would have no comprehension of such basic logic."

"The other reason?" She breathes this out quickly, before the skeleton can interrupt her again.

"Parties bore me and my partner. We do not feel the need to display our relationship before others."

"So Valduggery _is _true?"

Skulduggery feels, for a moment, that he would quite like to deny it, just to wipe the hope off the fangirl's face. He thinks of what Valkyrie would say if she found out, though, so he sighs.

"_Yes_, Miss Knight, it is."

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, so, I felt like it would be fun to insult my own early writings and pretty much every sappy romantic writer from way back when who wrote about Sanctuary Parties - no one seems to any more, joyously...**

**~Mademise Morte, May 21  
**


	142. Chapter 142

Tall and tan and young and lovely, the girl from Haggard, Ireland, approaches the Bentley. She has captured a dilettante murderer, and is planning to slit his throat the next time the Sanctuary isn't looking, just to give him a sense of what murder really is.

Her partner shifts from his position at the driver's wheel to give her a Look. He cannot read minds, as an Elemental, but he knows hers well enough that he doesn't need to. She withers under that look, acknowledging the fact that teaching some idiot about death isn't going to get her paid.

"You should thank this man here," she says absently to the captive as they drive back to the cells. "He's convinced me not to kill you."

"Oh. That's nice."

"No, instead, I'm going to throw you into a Sanctuary cell, where you will be stripped of your powers, tormented and teased and eventually die of old age."

The captive pales, even as Skulduggery frowns. "I assure you, that's not quite how it works."

"It so is."

The man laughs, and the would-be murderer shrinks in his seat.

* * *

**A/N: Not really very valduggery, but meh.**

**~Mademise Morte, May 22  
**


	143. Chapter 143

Can a Reflection feel?

The answer is no, and the answer is yes. Technically, Reflections cannot, but then, the Reflection of one Valkyrie Cain can, so it's really dependant on the situation.

She is in love, so she definitely can.

* * *

"Skulduggery," Valkyrie says, crisply and brightly. "My reflection tells me that the two of you are walking out."

Skulduggery, who had been enjoying a cup of coffee, chokes with great violence. "That was the Reflection?"

Valkyrie narrows her eyes. "Obviously. I'm a much better kisser than she is, and conversationally superior. I have the added advantage of being real."

"Then you are so amazing that your reflection mirrors you to perfection." Skulduggery has just about recovered, though he is still somewhat pale.

Valkyrie laughs.

* * *

**A/N: Meh.**

**~Mademise Morte, May 23  
**


	144. Chapter 144

"You look beautiful."

"You look like shit."

"It's not my fault I was waylaid by that bunch of thieves."

"Skulduggery, you've come to pick me up for our date _two hours late_."

"Well, if you had paid attention to all the text messages and come to help me, I might have not taken so very long."

"You're the guy. You're meant to be able to deal with stuff like this on your own."

"I can. It's just not very fast."

"Whatever. Are you still taking me out to dinner or not?"

"You mean you didn't eat?"

"Duh. We have a date, remember?"

"I don't deserve you."

"You really don't."

* * *

**A/N: Val's voice is sort of off, but moving on...**

**~Mademise Morte, May 24  
**


	145. Chapter 145

"Those are very nice shoes."

"I know, right?" Valkyrie grins, glancing down at her shoes. They _are_ very nice, despite the fact that they pinch like the Devil, and are threatening to break her ankles.

He laughs. "It's nice to see you dressed like this. Makes it seem a bit less like we're fighting a war."

"Well, it's nice to see your face. It's so much more relaxing now that you've settled on your façade."

They walk a little longer, just soaking in the beauty of the cool evening.

"Skulduggery?"

"Yes?"

"Why are we walking?

"… You have absolutely no romance in your soul."

"What, and you do?"

"Of course."

She shoves him delicately, and of course he's too elegant to stumble. He does, however, shove her back. They continue like this for a while, until they have reached Valkyrie's house. She turns, and thanks him for the evening. With a smile, he answers in kind.

"Skul?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

* * *

**A/N: Meh. Random sweet stuff.**

**~Mademise Morte, May 25  
**


	146. Chapter 146

"You two make a cute couple."

"Thank you, China. That was _exactly_ what we were wanting to hear."

"Obviously. Why are you here?"

"Cute couple or not, we're still working for the Sanctuary. We need information on the Lost Artifacts."

"Come now, Skulduggery, were you not paying attention in school?"

"I can't be expected to remember _everything_, now can I?"

"I suppose. The relevant books are on that shelf over there. Good-bye, Skulduggery. Good-bye, Ghastly."

* * *

**A/N: ... :DD**

~Mademise Morte, May 26  



	147. Chapter 147

"You look dejected."

"Why, hello."

"What's wrong?"

"I've been rejected from another job. I think I should seriously consider changing my name."

"But your name is lovely, Valkyrie."

"I thought so too, but all the decrepit old women go a bit pale when they hear the word 'Cain'."

* * *

**A/N: The cackling old Catholic biddies in this part of the world would probably give a minor demon a run for its money.**

**~Mademise Morte, May 27  
**


	148. Chapter 148

Melancholia looks out the window, eying the tumid moon and the pallid stars. The view is quite nice, she thinks, for an earthly thing.

"Crucified _Christ_."

The vampire slinking in through her window smiles a smile with too many teeth. "I thought Necromancers didn't believe in the Christ stuff."

"Neither do most people who take His name."

"Sure, but you just pronounced the capital 'h'."

"Why the _Devil_ are you in my room?"

"Ah, so you're indiscriminate with your capitalizations."

"_Get the Hell out of my room, Caelan!_"

* * *

**A/N: Melancholia/Caelan: they deserve each other.  
**

**~Mademise Morte, May 28  
**


	149. Chapter 149

The evening is hushed, quiet. Soft hands brush against leather, and lips are locked. The conveniently placed balcony is conveniently shaded from public view, not that those on it really care, and the moment is one of pure serenity.

The two break apart eventually, drawing shuddering breaths. One is all elegance, in immaculate clothing, the other all leather and rough edges. Their smiles are the same, though – vaguely predatory and slightly ever so blissed out.

"I swear, Tanith Low, I love you." The recipient of this comment blushes slightly.

"As I you, Dusk."

They resume their activities.

* * *

**A/N: One of those few pairings I've been considering for ages and never yet written.**

**~Mademise Morte, May 29  
**


	150. Chapter 150

The blond with the brown leather clothing and the smirking smile glances at the dark-haired girl with the serious eyes. "How've you been holding up?" The girl in the black protective clothing smiles half-heartedly, even as her voice wavers.

"Okay, I suppose." A soft shrug accentuates bared clavicles. "You?"

"Fine, I guess. It's been kinda lonesome since Skulduggery… Well."

"We all miss him, don't we?"

"What, even you? I thought you weren't terribly fond of him."

"Not really, but it breaks my heart seeing you sad." A calloused hand touches Valkyrie Cain's cheek softly, and Billy-Ray Sanguine finally has the courage to kiss the girl he loves.

A moment later, he is thrown out of a window. Violently.

* * *

**A/N: Because Tanith ain't the only blond in leather.**

**~Mademise Morte, May 30  
**


	151. Chapter 151

"So, if Reflections are so utterly fantastic, then how is it that I'm the only one I know with one?"

"I told you, Valkyrie, a sorcerer can see through a Reflection right away. Usually."

"Yeah, but still. Wouldn't there be more people using their Reflections for things other than subterfuge? And, like, the things I'm thinking of would be extensive, so wouldn't others have discovered that Reflections get a bit, well, real, if you use them long enough?"

"Other things?" Skulduggery tilts his head, and she knows that, if he had eyebrows, he would be raising them. She turns bright red.

"Well, yeah…"

"Valkyrie, please tell me you haven't been using your Reflection to help you sort out case files."

She breathes a sigh of relief, having immediately regretted her words. "Yes, that's exactly it."

* * *

**A/N: Now, much like with xkcd, Poppling is notable for having 'making out with yourself' as a recurring theme.**

**Because, hellz yeah that was the subtext in the skulflection snippet.**

**~Mademise Morte, May 31  
**


	152. Chapter 152

The skeleton would have grinned fiercely if he had lips. He did not, and so he does not. "It's nice to see you out here. I thought you were dead, actually."

"Yeah, well, I'm not."

"Obviously."

"How's life been for you?"

"Busy. Stressful. I miss the days when you actually knew what was going on – now, though, it's progress, and organization – for God's sake, the Sanctuary's become nothing more than a repository for paperwork!"

"I take it that that's why you're out here looking for amusement."

"A man has to make his own fun these days, after all."

"What happened to little Valkyrie?"

"She's dating China, somehow. Like uncle, like niece, one supposes."

Cackle. "Nice."

"What of your own life?"

"Damn boring." Billy-Ray Sanguine _does_ have lips, and he _does_ grin, right before he starts kissing Skulduggery Pleasant, coolly ignoring muffled screams of 'rape'.

* * *

**A/N: This is for that lovely anonymous reviewer, the one that requested this pairing.**

**~Mademise Morte, June 1  
**


	153. Chapter 153

"Will you go out with me, Valkyrie?"

"Sure."

"Now, I know you're prejudiced against vampires, and I know you think that I'm a little strange, but – hold on, did you just say _yes_?"

"I said sure."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. I guess. I mean, right now, the alternative is Fletcher, and he's gone sulky, so _sure_, Caelan, I'll go out with you."

"…"

"You can totally stop grinning like that any time now, I swear…"

* * *

**A/N: Insert evil laughter here.**

**This is for the same person as the last chapter. If anyone else would like to suggest pairings, that'd be great.  
**

**~Mademise Morte, June 2  
**


	154. Chapter 154

"Welcome home, honey."

"Thanks."

"How was work?"

"Busy. Stressful. A few of my subordinates were complaining about how the war doesn't seem to be getting any closer to ending."

"God forbid that we ever see anything like peace again."

"Was that _impertinence_?"

"No, love." Eyes are cast downwards meekly. "Of course not."

The man relaxes. "You do know I love you, right?"

"Of course." She smiles easily. "Always."

He kisses her on the lips. "Always." Thurid's hand circles around her waist, and Valkyrie giggles.

* * *

**A/N: Basically, his wife died and he got out of prison and he fell in love with Valkyrie and oh my God why am I trying to rationalize a crack pairing~?**

**XD  
**

**~Mademise Morte, June 3  
**


	155. Chapter 155

Murder Rose is struggling against the bonds that keep her in the prison. They are not of metal, or she could have rusted them in an instant, but of cloth, woven from what she suspects is Resolute thread. She won't break free of them easily, but she's going to try, godsdammit, she's going to try.

Morwenna Crow smiles wryly as she watches. "Does it make you feel better, to struggle like that?" She's a bright-eyed young thing, and looks barely out of her twenties, all innocence and light. Murder knows better than _that_, though – the sorceress has been the death of many.

"It actually does. I like being bound." Murder grins flippantly, trying to give off the impression of being too kinky to torture. It works, partially because Morwenna knows damn well that she actually is.

"Too bad. I was going to offer to free you."

Murder's eyes glint. "In exchange for?"

"Nothing much. A kiss."

She considers this. "Hey, can I get the kiss _and_ stay bound?"

Morwenna laughs. "You're impossible."

"I do my best."

* * *

**A/N: I was thinking about making a bunch of plus-minus-interesting charts for various SkulPles pairings to stick on my wall, and Rose/Crow was one of them.**

**So here ya' go. Rose/Crow.**

**~Mademise Morte, June 4  
**


	156. Chapter 156

The Cleaver shifts uncomfortably. It has not been working for very long, and it is somewhat bored. It should probably go back in for more training at some point.

Davina Marr saunters by, and the Cleaver stands up a bit straighter.

It's been to all the lectures, and it knows that personal feelings are things that are not encouraged, things that will be obsolete once its training is complete. However, as evidenced by its boredom, the Cleaver's training is far from over.

Beneath its visor, the Cleaver drools slightly.

* * *

**A/N: Oh oh oh new theory. Cleavers become gender-neutral, almost inhuman beings after being fully brainwashed/trained/whatever, right? Do you think that the Nye could be a fallen Cleaver?  
**

**Yeah, I didn't think so either. Anyway.**

**~Mademise Morte, June 5  
**


	157. Chapter 157

The battlefield is singularly unpleasant to look at. Various parts of ex-human are scattered about it fairly randomly, and there is blood _everywhere_.

The zombie called Thrasher lurches up from a pile of guts, eyes calm and fists clenched with determination. It begins to walk across the field, trying to ignore the way every step means treading on a dead man.

"Master. I am sorry. I failed you." He pronounces the words slowly, calmly, biting his lip and trying not to cry. For his pains, he gets a mouthful of dead skin. He spits this out, and it joins the rest of the human muck.

His master looks at him. "It was I that failed you, Thrasher. I am sorry."

The slave blinks. "It was never your fault." It blinks again, and the last of its magic fades away from it entirely. The master shudders.

"Oh, but it was… Gerald."

From some far off place, where it is incidentally a sunny day, the soul of Gerald smiles.

* * *

**A/N: It's been an age since I attempted slash. Hm.**

**~Mademise Morte, June 6  
**


	158. Chapter 158

"Where the Hell is Fletcher? He should be here by now."

"Be patient, Valkyrie. You should know by now that he isn't the most reliable of people."

They stand there waiting, Valkyrie's face an imitation of a martyr's visage. Moments flitter by.

"Where the Hell is Fletcher?" Skulduggery sounds distinctly disgruntled.

"Patience. Good things come to those who wait."

They wait some more, and then Valkyrie snaps open her phone and dials his number. Tanith Low answers.

"This being the cellular phone of one Fletcher Renn." Valkyrie can practically hear the Englishwoman rolling her eyes.

"Hi, Tanith. Why are you answering for Fletcher?"

"Got bored waiting. Want to know why he's taken so long?"

"_Please_."

"He found out the mirror trick, is why."

"Oh dear God…"

* * *

**A/N: To reiterate the theme of making out with yourself.**

**A cheap shot to make, maybe, but absolutely impossible to resist.**

**~Mademise Morte, June 7  
**


	159. Chapter 159

"Why do you seek to leave the Temple, Cleric Crow?" The old man's voice is unsteady, though the glare he is giving the younger girl is anything but. The girl, clad all in black, rolls her eyes, trying to convince herself that she isn't nervous.

"Because it's a bloody stupid place filled with stuffed shirts and people too in love with their own virtue to see that the world can be improved."

The man blinks. "And you, an untried _child_, not even twenty-five yet, think you can change the world enough to make it worth your while leaving before you are finished with your studies?"

"Actually, I do." She smiles, and departs in a cloud of shadows, leaving behind an extremely bemused High Priest.

She returns a moment later to pick up her purse, somewhat ruining the effect, but it couldn't be helped.

* * *

**A/N: Morwenna's sort of impetuous. XD**

**~Mademise Morte, June 8  
**


	160. Chapter 160

The halls of the school are empty of people. The school's really become a lot tighter about security after the Incident.

A class ends, and a batch of students files out. It's the only one that finishes at this time – they're staggered now, to minimize risk.

It had happened out of the blue, Gary Price reflects as he paces down the corridor. She had just snapped, completely and totally. A woman enraged, she had held them off at gunpoint. He hadn't even realized she knew how to shoot.

As evidenced by the deceased girl, once her rival, she did.

She's in the lunatic asylum now, gibbering and broken.

She. The only.

Hannah Foley.

* * *

**A/N: Did you think it was Valkyrie, for a moment?  
**

**~Mademise Morte, June 9  
**


	161. Chapter 161

The train is crowded. Apparently a lot of people want to get from London to Ireland, God knows why. With every jolt, Tanith Low wishes more that she could have been sensible and just traveled on foot.

Never mind that it's also separated from London by a fairly large stretch of water. She could swim.

"How're you doin', love?"

She turns, ready to say something sharp, or maybe slap the presumably amorous male. Instead, she finds herself facing Springheeled Jack, hat and all.

"Fine. What the Hell are you doing out of jail?"

"Well snippy, aren't we?

"Springheel…"

"Fine, I escaped. Not much of a surprise, is it?"

"No. Not really. Why are you here?"

"To see you." Jack smiles a lazy grin, and Tanith punches him.

* * *

**A/N: Kehe :33**

**~Mademise Morte, June 10  
**


	162. Chapter 162

England at night is cold. Valkyrie clutches her coat a bit closer around herself, glancing around nervously. She's meant to be auditioning at the English Sanctuary, though she can't quite remember how to get there.

She is in the St Pancras train station. It is large and it is grand. She wanders, and on an impulse, looks for platform nine and three quarters.

Slipping by a throng of tourists with cameras, she slides through the wall. It apparently is, in fact, the Sanctuary.

"Oh dear God…"

* * *

**A/N: Meh.**

**Apologies for missing a day - I swear, it was unavoidable.**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	163. Chapter 163

Clarabelle fidgets as she waits. It's not the first time she's been dead, but she still doesn't like it.

"So why exactly are you here?" The Nye's voice is cool.

"I want a job."

"And what makes you think I'd give you one?"

"I'm the best magiscientist the Sanctuary has ever had on its records that is still sentient."

"Of course you're not. Everyone knows Grouse is the best."

She examines her nails and she smiles. "And here I was thinking everyone knew I killed him."

"You what?"

"I killed him. With his own knives, too."

"You're hired."

* * *

**A/N: I considered having it yell at her, give it a Nye/Grouse twist, but this is fun too...**

**~Mademise Morte, June 12  
**


	164. Chapter 164

The shopping mall is large, modern and bustling. Air-conditioners work overtime in an attempt to keep the shoppers from absolutely _fainting_, and the vendors are generally doing well.

Stephanie Edgley is hanging off the arm of Gary Price, laughing and flirting for all she's worth, absently denying to herself that she finds it boring, that he has no appeal for her at all. It's only a hum at the back of her head now. It's been ages since she saw the one she actually loves, after all.

They share an ice-cream – three scoops in one flimsy paper bowl with crumblings of wafer and nut contained. She smiles to herself when she takes some of the mint, lost in her memories. It's the color that does it, mostly.

She is back at her house soon enough, Gary Price long dismissed to his own. She finds the one she's been missing sitting on her doorstep, and she lights up, idiotic male immediately forgotten. Clarabelle lights up too.

Her eyes are exactly the color of mint ice cream. Just as Valkyrie remembered.

* * *

**A/N: Meh.**

**~Mademise Morte, June 13  
**


	165. Chapter 165

"Rain!" She's smiling a great deal, trying not to start screaming. "Absolutely bloody brilliant!"

"Uh. Sorry."

"Oh, it's not your fault. _Right?_"

"Right!"

"So be a gentleman and hand me that umbrella, okay?'

He does so, shivering. The rain is really very cold.

"Now come huddle with me, and we'll be an insufferably twee couple, okay?" She smiles irritably, and he hurries to do so. As per expectations, Staven Weeper and Zephyr do not a very twee couple make, even with the umbrella.

* * *

**A/N: Meh. I thought it was time to roll the pairings-dice again.**

**Fun fact: this was originally meant to be Staven/Davina.**

**~Mademise Morte, June 14  
**


	166. Chapter 166

"You're falling apart. You are a disgusting creature, alive long after your time. Why should I help you?"

Scapegrace bites his lip, trying not to cry. He had been rather nervous about this whole thing, and apparently, this was rightfully so. "Because I love you?"

"Not good enough."

Scapegrace breathes in deeply, and then he smiles, with a new courage. "Because you yourself are nothing more than the remains of a dead man, and you should have a sympathy for me like no other."

"Right. I'm still not going to help you turn my assistant in to the Sanctuary, though. Sorry."

* * *

**A/N: Mehh.**

**~Mademise Morte, June 15  
**


	167. Chapter 167

Rage tastes bitter, and it lends him the strength to pin the other to the wall, breathing heavily, and eyes widened to best show off his anger. For his part, the one being pinned to the wall smiles cockily.

"What are you going to do, rape me?"

He doesn't even pause to consider it. "That was the plan, yes."

He goes straight for the neck, teeth tearing. It hurts a great deal, and this is one of those rare times that Fletcher seriously considers teleporting away from the psycho vampire with the roleplaying fetish who happens to be his boyfriend. Only the thought that no-one else truly appreciates his hair stops him.

* * *

**A/N: Fletcher/Caelan :DD**

** ~Mademise Morte**


	168. Chapter 168

"I've been thinking about this, Skulduggery. A lot, actually. You know what? I've decided that this _isn't_ how I want to spend the rest of my life – torturing, getting tortured, having boys fawning over me, treating magic like it isn't. I would like some peace, and a chance to actually age. I won't go back to Haggard and be normal, mind, but I do want a break from this. Will you allow me to leave?" There is nothing defiant about her expression.

He looks sideways, unhappy. "If it is your will," he allows.

She casts him a sad smile, and then she hops out of the Bentley and is gone.

Two weeks later, he is driving around Dublin, being melancholy and chasing down a criminal. He is halfway to capturing said criminal when she swings out of nowhere, all fists and flame. They take the murderer down together.

When this is done, she grins at him. "I thought again."

* * *

**A/N: You could die tomorrow. If you did, would you be happy with how you acted today?**

**~Mademise Morte, June 17  
**


	169. Chapter 169

She is the new administrator at the Sanctuary. The hours are long, the task is thankless and the pay is absolutely shit. She sits at the café, chatting with her friend, recounting stories of her work and becoming damn near to tears.

She is on her third glass of highly alcoholic juice, and her friend is blinking rapidly at the tale of sexual harassment. The list is long.

"And, you know, you'd think that, what with being married and all, Guild would be less likely to grope a random person in the hall, but no, apparently not, and don't even get me started on Crux, oh Gods, _Crux…_"

The listener has started to zone out slightly. She jolts back awake in an instant when she hears the words _Davina Marr_. At this, she grabs the glass of mostly-fruit beverage and downs it.

* * *

**A/N: Meh. This is either AU or pre-Mortal Coil.  
**

**~Mademise Morte, June  
**


	170. Chapter 170

What happens when you chuck two stereotypical antagonist-characters into a jail cell together and tell them that they are on a lifetime sentence?

Well, first of all, they try to escape.

"_What the Hell is this? Lead? Iron?"_

_"It would appear to be something along those lines, yes."_

After that, they give up. They may or may not get bored immediately.

Eventually, they have gotten on each others nerves so much that they either end up killing each other in the literal sense or the euphemistic sense.

_In the corner of the shadowy cell, Dusk has pinned Billy-Ray Sanguine to the wall._

* * *

**A/N: In Elizabethan-era slang, to 'die' is to orgasm, to 'kill' to induce such.**

**x33  
**

**~Mademise Morte, June 19  
**


	171. Chapter 171

The room is quiet, and the atmosphere is soft. The light that filters in is sweet and lovely. It is not precisely what you'd think of as a vampire's abode, but all the same. It is nice.

"You have a pretty room." Clarabelle smiles happily, and the vampire herself is trying not to stare at the flesh revealed by the lacy camisole and the perfect strip of skin that is the zettai ryouiki.

"Thanks." The woman dressed in black laughs softly. "I never thought I'd ever entertain, so it's a little cramped."

"That is quite all right. I don't mind being close to you at all." Another charming smile, and then they are kissing.

* * *

**A/N: A random vamp of Moloch's.**

**By the way, I've fixed chapter 167 to show the correct snippet.**

**~Mademise Morte, June 20  
**


	172. Chapter 172

"What." Valkyrie blinks, and repeats it for good measure. "What."

"It won't be _that _bad, Val."

"What."

"Okay, fine, so maybe it will."

"Let me get this straight, Tanith. You want me to go to your parents' house with you so that I can pretend to be your brother's date so that they'll think that he's straight, and you're going with _his _boyfriend so they think you're straight."

"Pretty much, yeah."

"What."

* * *

**A/N: The real gag (pun absolutely intended) here is Tanith'sbrother/Staven Weeper.**

**~Mademise Morte, June 21  
**


	173. Chapter 173

Davina looks around the room irritably. This whole investigation has been turning out to be catastrophically bad news for her.

"Why, my dear Miss Marr! I didn't know you were looking into the Diablerie _too._"

"Shut up, Wreath," she says tiredly.

"Isn't that _amazing_? We have _so much _in common."

"Yeah. I'm still not going to date you."

"But-"

"End of. Creep."

* * *

**A/N: Meh.**

**~Mademise Morte, June 22  
**


	174. Chapter 174

Fletcher looks out at Dublin city from the balcony of the hotel room. The air stinks, but he doesn't really care.

"Come back to bed, love."

"In a moment. Come on out here. Look at the city."

"I've seen it all before. There's nothing new there. There never is."

"Such a hardened cynic, you are."

"You're right about the first part."

With a soft laugh, Fletcher returns to the room, to join his lover, one Billy-Ray Sanguine.

* * *

**A/N: A little while ago, I realized that I couldn't say _m_****énage à toi ****without making it sound like _m___****énage à trois**. I have since been wandering around muttering it under my breath, trying to figure out a way to not insinuate an 'r'.

**~Mademise Morte, June 23  
**


	175. Chapter 175

"You know, Clarabelle, I appreciate that everyone needs a hobby, but, quite frankly, I find your habit of pairing real people together quite disturbing."

"Oh, you mean the shipping?"

"… Yes."

"Well, you see, it's not completely arbitrary. I mean, it's built on a scale of moé, and subtext, and-"

"_You ship Bliss and Ghastly."_

"Okay, so maybe that one went a bit too far…"

* * *

**A/N: I decided that it hasn't been lighthearted enough recently x3**

**~Mademise Morte, June 24  
**


	176. Chapter 176

He stares at the dead body, heart sinking. So this is it? This is the end?

He only wishes he hadn't been too late.

Oh, it isn't out of some misguided guilt. He knows that it wasn't his fault that Gordon was dead. He knows that it was someone else that did it, knows it as cold, hard fact. It was probably Serpine. It usually is.

In death, Gordon is peaceful, as he never was in his life, where he had been a driven, frenetic sort of man. It is now, looking down at the corpse, that Solomon Wreath finds the heart to say what he never could before.

"I love you." He says this, and, soul shattering, clambers out of the window.

* * *

**A/N: Muahahahahaha.**

**Ha.**

**~Mademise Morte, June 25  
**


	177. Chapter 177

Madame Mist is looking at the window. There is not very much to see, since she is in a basement, and the window is little more than a cheerful little scrawl in white chalk against red brick.

"Do you like it?" The voice that rings across the still air is clear, bright and high.

Madame Mist is absolutely still for a moment, surprised, but then she nods, slowly.

"That's good, then. I drew it myself, in case people got bored with having nothing to see. Kenspeckle… Well, he told me that the people in here probably wouldn't want anything to see, since it's meant to be a quiet, empty place to clear your mind, but I think it's a nice touch. I've got more chalks, if you'd like to draw a landscape in the panels. Would you?"

Madame Mist tilts her head and shrugs. Why not.

Clarabelle, now the head of the Medical Centre, following the death of her mentor, duly supplies her with a little box of chalks. Madame Mist nods her thanks, and is soon drawing spiders on the walls. It is strangely cathartic.

"They're really pretty. You're a spider-lady too, aren't you?"

"We are called the Children of the Spider."

"Wow, you can talk!" Clarabelle beams, a child with an interesting new toy. "You must have a mouth, then…"

"I do." Madame Mist lifts the veils away from her face slowly, and she smiles shyly at Clarabelle, who hadn't realized how _young_ Madame Mist would look, how _pretty._

"_Cool._" Clarabelle is almost possessive, in the way that she draws closer to the other woman, in the way she claims her lips.

Madame Mist does absolutely nothing to resist.

* * *

**A/N: I went to Skulpedia, opened three tabs and started hitting 'random article', since I couldn't find a random pairings generator. The first pairing I got?  
**

**Skulduggery/Ghastly's father.**

**~Mademise Morte, June 26  
**


	178. Chapter 178

The cemetery is gloomy in the moonlight, which streams through the skeleton's bones.

"What are you thinking?"

"Nothing."

"There's a fine thought."

"How many times will I have to tell you that Shakespeare is for the truly deranged?"

"For as long as you deny that I'm one of them, I suppose."

"Witty."

"Oh, if only you knew how that sounded…"

* * *

**A/N: Forgive me this one, if you know not the archaic meaning of _wit_. Dismiss it as another flight of fancy, and just remember to be careful around that word.**

**~Mademise Morte, June 27  
**


	179. Chapter 179

She looks up at the sky, smiling vaguely and softly. It has begun to rain, and she is resisting the urge to dance.

"Come on. There's no point wasting rain." A hand is extended; a smile is smiled.

They dance, and she doesn't care when her clothing is thoroughly dampened and, she suspects, vaguely see through, doesn't care as her hair is soaked in the rain, because she is with the one she loves.

In much the same way, Melancholia is content.

* * *

**A/N: Clarabelle/Melancholia: it's actually really cute, in an soppy, overemotional kind of way.**

**~Mademise Morte, June 28  
**


	180. Chapter 180

"Why will you have no patience for us and our history, Valkyria? If you're to use our power, then you should know how they work. Otherwise, you become nothing more than a collector, nothing more than Serpine was."

"My name is _Valkyrie_, and don't you dare compare me to Serpine."

"Then learn our past. Learn what we believe in, before you become him."

"Melancholia-"

"_I mean it."  
_

Valkyrie gives up, nodding. The other girl has a point.

* * *

**A/N: Mehh.**

**~Mademise Morte, June 29**


	181. Chapter 181

"I have a confession to make."

"Out with it, then."

"I am in love with you."

"Well. That's nice, I suppose. Unfortunately, I don't see how that's going to work out. For one thing, I am so much older than you are."

"I am over three hundred years old."

"You barely look legal."

"Well, I am. Next issue?"

"Uh…" Wreath glances at the way Clarabelle is glaring at him. "None."

* * *

**A/N: Kehe :3**

**~Mademise Morte, June 30  
**


	182. Chapter 182

"Thank you so much for letting me stay here, China."

"It was the least I could do, since you so graciously helped me with the relocation." The black-haired woman smiles, and she is completely honest. She probably wouldn't be so sanguine about life just now if she had had to move all her books on her own, it is true.

"All the same, thanks." Valkyrie matches her smile and raises her a perverted grin. "It's nice having an excuse to stay over."

China laughs a mellifluous laugh. "I daresay it is."

* * *

**A/N: China/Valkyrie isn't quite as hot as China/Tanith, nor as cute as Tanith/Valkyrie, but I could not care less.  
**

**~Mademise Morte, July 1  
**


	183. Chapter 183

"What are your regrets?" She smiles softly, sadly, as she looks at him.

"Regrets?"

"Haven't you any?"

"None that I can think of offhand. I made peace with those demons, long ago."

"No desperate last wishes?"

"To stay alive." He shrugs. "It's pretty much all I ever wanted."

"Didn't you ever care enough for another to want their life even more than your own?"

"Not really."

"That's bloody pathetic, then." China Sorrows casts him a pitying look.

"I know. Think it's too late to try?"

"Skulduggery, you're dying. Of course it is."

"If you really think that, then you're the pathetic one."

* * *

**A/N: This is to counterbalance the fact that I'm seriously considering doing a rule 63 fic.**

**~Mademise Morte, July 2  
**


	184. Chapter 184

There are many unenviable positions in which one can be, and, all things considered, neighbor to China Sorrows isn't all that horrible. There are worse fates.

Lou White stares steadfastly out of her window, trying to ignore the sounds, and the mental pictures accompanying the fact that she just encountered a hot blonde in leather standing outside of China's door. Her silence is one that could be cut with a knife, quite unlike the atmosphere coming from downstairs.

* * *

**A/N: I wish I truly believed people when they introduce other people as 'friends'. I think that there's an integral discrepancy between the way I view friends and the way others view friends.**

**~Mademise Morte, July 3  
**


	185. Chapter 185

She looks up at the stars. She wonders, like your average, silly teenager in a romantic cliché, whether the one she loves is looking at them too.

Since the portal, she hasn't seen her. The pretty blonde with the leather clothes. She's thought of looking her up, a hundred times, but without her real name, it's pretty much impossible.

She has no idea why she's here in London, when she knows full well she won't find Tanith. She's here anyway.

"They say that there's an elf woman who sits at this bench. She lures strangers into her trap, and she sucks out the soul of everyone she catches."

"I'm not she." Valkyrie can hear how much her voice is wavering.

"Well, how can I be sure?" The Englishwoman's voice is a purr, and she is suddenly slinging her arm around Valkyrie's neck.

"Well… I could give sucking out your soul a try, I guess."

"There's a thought…"

In the end, Tanith is quite convinced that Valkyrie is Valkyrie, though it does need multiple tries to determine.

* * *

**A/N: Watching a Disney movie called Lemonade Mouth. The music pretty much sucks, but I think I might just have found a new fandom to write yuri for...**

**Oh, and happy America day.  
**

**~Mademise Morte, July 4  
**


	186. Chapter 186

Do you know what it is to love?

Stupid question, that. Of course you don't.

You're _China_ _Sorrows_, for Heaven's sake. Are you even humanly capable of love?

So, um, it makes no difference that I love you. A lot. It totally doesn't.

I'll just be alone the rest of my life, then. Alone. Even though I've got awesome hair.

* * *

**A/N: Don't bother telling me it's shit of the universe, I know.**

**So, tomorrow's my Japanese exam, so hypothetically I'd then be freed to spend the remainder of the Summer writing, but, truthfully, I feel like shit, and I'm not sure how much I'm going to get written. The world is spinning, the world is blurry, and I'm hungry, which is the only reason why I'm still conscious. This is a scrap rescued from my 'God I can't write' folder. It's from November last year.**

**There. That's my pathetic excuse.**

**~Mademise Morte, July 5  
**


	187. Chapter 187

"I absolutely abhor these social gatherings, such odious things as they are." Melancholia pouts softly, emptily.

"It's a party, not an Austen revival. Here, drink this." Clarabelle smiles her crazy, happy smile.

"I do not consume alcohol."

"Great to hear. Drink this."

Melancholia takes the glass with a deep suspicion that is certainly not unfounded. She sips, proving herself to be entirely too trusting.

"Good, you can say you're drunk now." Clarabelle laughs, and Melancholia starts to protest.

She is cut off mid-speech.

* * *

**A/N: I failed the Japanese test by four marks, and the room is too bright.**

**Bloody brilliant. =.=;;**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	188. Chapter 188

I miss you. It's really quite pathetic, because there's so much around me to remind me of you, and while I really don't need the reminders, they are still like knives, being forced into my skin.

It is a teacup, empty, and waiting to be washed. It is a romantic novel, waiting to be read. It is a fresh-made bed, waiting to be messed up again.

It's your scent, lingering around, despite all the oils I burn. It's the way I see you whenever I close my eyes. It's the crack in my voice when I try to sing one of those songs you loved so much.

I still haven't forgotten you, Tanith Low.

* * *

**A/N: When a day where the highlight is having someone try to convince you that liking girls is 'just a phase' is considered an improvement on the last few, it's time to get a new life.**

**Or possibly just some new friends.**

**~Mademise Morte, July 7  
**


	189. Chapter 189

"You should come with me to the convention. You could wear a costume and everything."

"What sort of costume? Those semi-pornographic things the girls wear in that series, what's it called?"

"I think that that would cover most of the things I read. I actually meant cat ears, or maybe a maid costume. Zettai Ryouiki, ne?"

"I'll think about it…"

_**Two weeks later…**_

Clarabelle looks at her girlfriend, eyes wide. She had not seriously thought that Murder would take up her suggestion of grade A zettai ryouiki and cat ears.

She is damn glad she did, though.

* * *

**A/N: By the way, the narrator of the last chapter was Cassandra Pharos.**

**~Mademise Morte, July 8  
**


	190. Chapter 190

"I'm home."

"Welcome home." Philomena smiles tiredly at her boyfriend, forcing herself out of the couch where she has been draping to hug him. "How was work?"

"Okay, I suppose. Same old, same old."

"Really? Because I was incredibly busy, due to a sudden outbreak of vampirism. Did your division have nothing to do with that?"

Staven Weeper laughs. "Isn't that what passes for normal these days?"

Philomena Random smiles. "I guess it is, at that."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"But, you know, it was zombies last time."

"Same difference."

* * *

**A/N: Philomena/Staven is the new Zephyr/Sev. It's cute, domestic and extremely unlikely.**

**~Mademise Morte, July 9  
**


	191. Chapter 191

Sometimes, she just wants nothing more than to be able to call Tanith and tell her that she loves her, she misses her, can they just please put aside the differences, put aside the magic, and just spend some goddamn time together? Please?

This is childish, she thinks sometimes, irritably. It's so stupid, that she can't even see her friend anymore.

A small part of her knows that it's the exact opposite of childish, but still she mourns for the camaraderie she had found in Tanith Low.

* * *

**A/N: I'm envisioning this as Valkyrie/Tanith, but if you'd like, you can imagine a China/Tanith spin to it.**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	192. Chapter 192

The fanaticism of one Baron Vengeous goes beyond the mere religious and magical. Indeed, he takes just as much out of seeing a pretty young face as finding, say, a suit of magical armor, or the corpse of a God.

"Would you like to go out to dinner with me?"

"You're the man who is trying to revive the Grotesquery, aren't you? The one responsible for the death of my brothers?"

"It's not impossible."

"In that case, I would love to come to dinner with you. Hold on, let me get my coat…"

* * *

**A/N: Yvette Quick, I am indebted to you. If I now decide to do a bunch of snippets that just tidy up and pair Clarabelle with literally everyone, it is your fault.**

**:D**

**~Mademise Morte, July 11  
**


	193. Chapter 193

"Um… Can I tell you something?"

"Of course you can. Why, what is it?"

"I… I really like you. Like, _really _like you, in a romantic sort of way."

"Oh… Okay."

"Could… Could I kiss you?"

"Why not?" Hannah smiles a wicked, delicious grin, and Clarabelle laughs.

* * *

**A/N: When I said 'everyone', I meant it.**

**:D**

**~Mademise Morte, July 12  
**


	194. Chapter 194

"Sanguine! There you are!"

"Why, hello, little darlin'. Where have you been?"

"Looking for you!" The childish little thing with her blonde hair dyed purple and put into twin-tails pouts.

"Whyever would you be doin' sum'n like that?" He smiles winningly.

"Because Spring-Heeled Jack told me he'd donate the next three corpses he creates if I got you to attend some stupid meeting or other. Oh, and Nye said that I needed to be more open about my feelings instead of bottling them up and randomly stabbing people I respect."

"Wait, what?"

"I'm in love with you. Now, that may _sound_ creepy, much like your use of _sum'n_, which, while obviously meant to be 'something' when heard, is actually goddamn impossible to transcribe, but trust me, it's less creepy than it would be if I _didn't_ confess now."

Sanguine thinks about Kenspeckle's mutilated corpse, and he finds himself agreeing. "Fair enough."

"Good. I'll see you on Friday evening, eight o' clock?"

Beyond words, Billy-Ray Sanguine nods.

* * *

**A/N: It's like 'some' plus an m/n sound with a hard edge. Sum'n like that.**

**~Mademise Morte, July 13  
**


	195. Chapter 195

The club is filled with the music. The woman dancing on the stage is _very_ scantily clad, and Clarabelle is paying her full attention to her.

"That's a cute outfit." The annoying male has said this with a smile, and he is standing irkingly close. Clarabelle takes a step away, still paying him no mind.

He continues to be annoying. His name is Owen, he thinks that Clarabelle is cute, and he has no respect for the performing artist.

Finally, exasperated, she slams her foot into his. She is wearing stiletto heels, and from his expression, it is painful.

Content, she returns her attention to the dancer.

* * *

**A/N: You remember Owen, right?  
**

**~Mademise Morte, July 14  
**


	196. Chapter 196

She makes the dreary, dingy little cell seem brighter, somehow. He's unsure of the mechanics.

There's sunshine in her smile, a light in her eyes he knows she hasn't seen in years. There's hope and life in her, even though she knows he's doomed. There's something so, so bright about her that gives even an old man like him hope.

In the dreary, dingy little cell, the Torment gazes upon his sun.

* * *

**A/N: Yes, yes, that was an awful long build-up for the Shakespeare reference, whatever~**

**:D**

**~Mademise Morte, July 15  
**


	197. Chapter 197

The cultists chant and hum and sing and talk. The atmosphere is polluted with the noise, and yet there is a comfortable feeling to it. Clarabelle certainly doesn't feel out of place.

"Hey, you're that chick Finbar was talking about. Clara, right?" The woman is beautiful in a slightly frightening sort of way, with wild hair and sharp eyes.

"Yes." Clarabelle smiles tightly. "You would be Sharon, then?"

"Absolutely. I never thought I'd meet you here."

"Why not?"

"I dunno, you sounded pretty, well, straight. Mainstream, like."

"I'm not really." Clarabelle laughs, her reservations put aside. "Want to go out to dinner after this?"

"Sure thing." Bloodred lips grin. "I'd love to."

* * *

**A/N: So, who amongst you lot has read the excerpt from Death Bringer? Immediately after reading it, I drew a Jitter Girl. The inked image is sitting on my desk, waiting to be scanned...**

**~Mademise Morte, July 16  
**


	198. Chapter 198

The library is quiet. Clarabelle looks about herself daintily, stepping silently over the floors as she seeks out its owner.

She has soon located her, and is smiling.

"Would you happen to have in your stock a tome detailing the mechanics of life after death?"

China Sorrows does not smile. "No, dear, I am not giving it to you so that the Nye can perfect resurrection."

Clarabelle frowns. "Not even for Bliss?"

"Especially not for Bliss. It was his time, and I can respect that. Tell the Nye to do its own dirty work next time."

"Perhaps." Clarabelle bows, and now China does smile.

"My condolences for Civet, by the way."

Clarabelle restrains the urge to slap China.

* * *

**A/N: I'm getting bored with this. I think I've proved my point - Clarabelle really does go with anyone.**

**That in mind, I'll go back to regular crackfic tomorrow.**

**~Mademise Morte, July 17  
**


	199. Chapter 199

Clarabelle looks thoughtfully at the shadowy figure.

"You know, I've never actually met anyone in an Echo-Stone before."

Oisin nods. "It's not really an everyday occurrence, I suppose. I myself never had seen one, prior to imprinting my very person upon it."

"What's it like in there?"

"Interesting."

"Can you still feel?"

"But of course."

"Not just emotion, but physical feeling. Can you?"

"I don't know. You want to test it?" He smiles a sleazy smile.

She casts him the evil eye. "No."

* * *

**A/N: I was going to end the Clarabelle ones, but then the lovely Miss Florence suggested this, and, you know, I felt it my duty to obey the wish of a pretty girl.**

**R.I.P., Sawada Taiji. **

**~Mademise Morte, July 18  
**


	200. Chapter 200

There is a starry sort of glint to Clarabelle's eyes, a murmur of pure, slavish adoration, as she looks upon the face of the one she loves – all knowing gaze and dark hair.

The beloved one returns the stare with a soft, sharp smile. The open, caring face is so familiar and so sweet to her – she has missed her lover in the time that they have been separated—long, torturous years.

It is the social convention, Clarabelle supposes, that wearing, stupid thing, that they must be apart so much. She plans to transcend it at some stage, just so that she can be with the one she loves, so that she can finally be together with _her_.

Morwenna Crow.

* * *

**A/N: I was _going_ to go back to non-Clarabelle ones, but, you know, it's snippet 200 and all...**

**~Mademise Morte, July 19  
**


	201. Chapter 201

The light plays prettily off her, adding a glow to her eyes and a brilliance to her smile. She is lovely.

Clarabelle stares and stares and stares. She can do nothing else, really. She wishes she could, but she can't.

By turns, Valkyrie stares back, though Clarabelle doesn't really notice.

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry it's so short. I've spent my day staring and my evening writing emotive poetry.**

**~Mademise Morte, July 20  
**


	202. Chapter 202

"Why, hello." The brunette smiles broadly. "I haven't seen you in ages."

"Nor I you. You're looking well."

"As you are."

"So, what have you been up to?"

"The usual. Protecting pretty girls from the big, scary men." She grins recklessly. "You?"

"The usual. Murder, general violence, seducing pretty women." She laughs, and laughs and laughs.

Over her cup of coffee, Zephyr smiles. It has been a while since she has seen Murder Rose, and she had missed her a great deal.

* * *

**A/N: Murder/Zephyr, yay.**

**After I finish Poppling, I think I'm going to focus on my Sweethearted persona for a while...**

**~Mademise Morte, July 21  
**


	203. Chapter 203

"I never noticed your eyes before. They're really nice, you know?"

"I am in total agreement. They are very good for when I want to see things." China rolls the eyes in question.

"No, but I mean it! They're all… Glowy, and prettiful…"

"They are _eyes._"

"Just accept the damn compliment, won't you?"

"Thank you for your kind words, then." China laughs, and Murder nods.

"It's nothing."

* * *

**A/N: I need to work on my yuri skills for non-Clarabelle pairings. Obviously, I've fallen out of practice.**

**~Mademise Morte, July 22  
**


	204. Chapter 204

She is sharp-eyed, bright and lovely. Life flows through her, apparent in her every gesture, her every subtly soft angle. She is the essence, China thinks half-jealously, of beauty itself.

When she is around her, China Sorrows can remember the time before she was the loveliest woman on life. It's strangely therapeutic, being around that chiding smile, that careless laugh.

She could never imagine life completely free of Murder Rose, and the death of that person was the one thing that truly made her hate the Faceless Ones.

* * *

**A/N: I'm wondering if I should do another series-let within Poppling. Maybe take a break from yuri...**

**... Or, you know, not.**

**~Mademise Morte, July 23  
**


	205. Chapter 205

"We'll be together for forever, ne?" The grin is impulsive, wide.

"Surely." The dark-eyed girl tries to keep her answer vague, noncommittal. She knows well enough not to make promises she hasn't a hope of keeping.

"You promise?"

"I, Zephyr, swear that, so long as there is breath and life in me, I shall love and care for you, Sharon. As long as it is within my powers, I will strive to be close to you at all times."

"And cut your finger off?" Sharon laughs. She has always been fascinated with Zephyr's cultural tics, the promising song most of all.

Zephyr nods. "You may make me swallow a thousand needles if I tell a lie at this moment."

"Oh, I'm sure there'll be no need for that." Sharon nods, and then she leans in for a quick, fleeting kiss.

* * *

**A/N: _Little finger promise/If I tell a lie/I'll swallow a thousand needles/And cut my finger off._**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	206. Chapter 206

"Have you ever given thought to what you'd like to do when you're grown, Tanith?" Valkyrie's eyes are distant, and she is focused entirely on the stars.

"I'd think that most people would consider seventy or so quite grown, Valkyrie." There is a hint of amusement to her voice.

"Most septuagenarians don't look like they're in their twenties, Tanith."

"True enough." She considers the question for a moment. "I used to want to have children. Never actually liked the idea of actually getting married, strange enough, but I really wanted children."

"You could still have them. You've got all the time in the world."

"Of course I don't." The magic of the stars, the peaceful moment, is gone, and Tanith smiles too brightly. "Valkyrie, _I'm dying._"

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. One last kiss?"

"Always."

There is a kiss, a sigh, one last glance at the cherry-blossom pink of Valkyrie's blush, and then Tanith Low is no longer.

* * *

**A/N: Morinaga Milk reference, yay.**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	207. Chapter 207

"Where has the time gone? It seems like just yesterday that we first met."

"Does it really? I could have sworn it was decades ago."

"Well, that too." The man chuckles. "Ah well, we have decades yet, do we not?"

"One would suppose so."

"So, what has changed in your life?"

"Nothing. Everything."

"But of course." Gordon smiles. "How has my niece been?"

"She has been well."

"Planning to date her, then?"

"Perhaps. She's quite a lovely young woman."

"She has good genes."

The skeleton laughs. "That she does."

* * *

**A/N: Implied Skulduggery/Gordon. ^^;;**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	208. Chapter 208

She types out the report as quickly as she can manage. She is tired, and she does not want to spend any more time on this than she has to.

"Why, hello, Philomena."

With a little half-scream, Philomena shoves her chair away from her desk and treats Davina Marr to a death glare.

"What do you want?"

"Just to see your face, my dear, just to see your face."

"Lovely. Could you save that for after I've had a scalding hot bath and some tea?"

"But it's so much more fun now."

"Is that so?"

"It really is. Do you want any help with that?"

"Not really."

"I'll be your moral support, then." Davina pulls up a chair and just sits there, watching Philomena type. When Philomena is quite done, she saves the file and hits Davina on the head with a phonebook.

"I love you too, dear."

* * *

**A/N: This is possibly the most random pairing I've come up with in a while.**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	209. Chapter 209

"Do you believe in fate, my love?"

"I do not. Don't call me _love._"

"Then what name should I call this gorgeously sweet rose by?"

"How about Crystal? I do have a name, you know."

"Be nice, _Crystal_."

She ignores the vampire.

"Is that not your Given Name?"

"It is."

"Why are you not blindly obeying?"

"I have a Taken Name."

"Why don't you use it?"

"Because you'll drive yourself mad trying to figure it out."

* * *

**A/N: Dusk/Crystal, maybe?**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	210. Chapter 210

"Tell me honestly, Valkyrie. Do you think I'm crazy?"

"Yes."

"You could have waited a moment to give me reassurance."

"What would the point be? I honestly think you're a little bit mad." Valkyrie grins.

"That's not very nice, you know."

"I don't see why I should be. Besides, you like a little bit of defiance, don't you, Davina?"

"In small amounts, it can be interesting. I suppose."

"You seem to forget that I know you better than you know yourself."

"You do, don't you? I wonder how that came to be."

"Love gives me insight." That, and you wear your heart on your sleeve.

* * *

**A/N: Marr/Cain - as implied in the books.**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	211. Chapter 211

"How has life been recently?"

"In a word, hectic. I hardly have any time to myself, these days."

"Is that so?"

"It is so. Why, would you believe that I can't remember the last time I saw Tanith?"

"Are you two going out, then?"

"We are in a sexual relationship, yes. We have not yet gone on walks together."

"That is just so messed up." Valkyrie rolls her eyes, and China laughs.

"That may be so, but you have to consider the fact that she is Tanith Low, and I am China Sorrows. We are possibly not the most normal beings in the world."

"You might have a point there…"

* * *

**A/N: Meh.**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	212. Chapter 212

She is standing on tiptoe, and leaning quite determinedly against the door. Life in recent times has been difficult, and she has desperately been needing a little sunshine.

She is looking out the window, waiting eagerly for the sight of her love.

She gains it, and she tries not to faint with delight as she watches the blonde girl skipping down the street. She waits until said girl is two doors away, and then pulls open her own front door, just as Clarabelle was about to knock.

"Zephyr! Hello!" The blonde girl grins, and suddenly the world is a much, much happier place.

* * *

**A/N: Much.**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	213. Chapter 213

It is two days after the Sanctuary discovered the rip in the fabric of reality itself and fangirls began pouring into Ireland. For some strange reason, Valkyrie has been put on babysitting duty. She is stuck with a cell that is filled with otaku girls with brightly colored hair and frightening smiles.

"So, um, hi. My name is Valkyrie Cain, and if I'm at all lucky you'll be the ones who like pairing guys together." She grins nervously, hoping to dear God that these aren't the valduggery shippers.

"You're almost there, dear," says a girl with purple eyes and a cheaply made white lace dress. "We do like our homosexual pairings."

"To put it bluntly, we're the lesbian quarter of the LGBT pairings community. You've been a great help to us, since, depending on the interpretation, you can act as either innocent submissive or hardened dominant." This is said by a girl wearing eyeglasses and a loose-fitting navy blue dress.

"Oh, sweet Jesus."

"Indeed. Out of curiosity, what are your feelings concerning your cousins, the twins?"

Valkyrie gives them a wild-eyed look, and then she starts running away.

* * *

**A/N: I felt like I had been neglecting the fourth wall too much lately. Also, this gives me a new AU to play around with.**

**~Mademise Morte, August 1  
**


	214. Chapter 214

"How was youth group, sister dearest?"

"Absolutely horrible, Steph, though rather amusing. To be perfectly honest, I have my reservations about wasting five hours every week with a bunch of giggling imbeciles."

"It's character building, and they teach you important social skills."

"What, like _don't be in a clique_, and _never ever have sex_, or even _don't pervert the things your friends say_? When the Hell will I need to use those skills?"

"Well, from an idealistic standpoint, you would be using them in school."

"Oh, for the love of God, Steph. _You _never had to go through torture like that."

"No, I was simply put through agony by a guy with a red right hand when I was your age."

"Exactly. Now that sounds like fun."

"You're crazy, sister dearest."

"What, and you aren't?"

* * *

**A/N: My years at Girl Scouts have taught me that the most logical thing to do when you are being told things by idealistic American idiots is to reverse what they say and follow that.**

**Forgive me the utter inanity of this one, my brain is pretty much dead. I'm on a severe sugar low. Also, sleep deprived and thinking in French.  
**

**~Mademise Morte, August 2  
**


	215. Chapter 215

"Hello, crazy people. I have unfortunately been given the task of babysitting you while the Sanctuary tries to rig up a way to send you back to your universe. How has life been?"

"Extremely interesting. It's nice to finally meet you, Solomon." The speaker is androgynous, with glittering eyes. A hand is extended, to be shaken.

"Oh dear God. Don't tell me you lot are the ones who pair me with Skulduggery."

"We're not." The speaker is either a very broad-shouldered girl or a guy in a dress. "We are the genderflippers. You have been invaluable to our cause."

Solomon Wreath most pointedly Does Not Murder Everyone In Sight.

* * *

**A/N: Yep. Still not in such a great position with regards to sugar levels.**

**~Mademise Morte, August 3  
**


	216. Chapter 216

She walks ten paces behind, wide eyes blinking, with half a smile on her face. She'll stop smiling the moment the one she's following glances back, of course, but for the moment she can stare and she can smile, unnoticed and unheeded.

Well, obviously it would be impossible for her to be heeded if unnoticed, but the words have a good cadence in that order, so the author is going to completely ignore all logic. Also, the fourth wall.

"You've been following me." The words are calm, definite. They leave absolutely no room for doubt, for question.

"I suppose I have, at that."

"Why? You should seriously leave me alone, you know. Don't turn into another Caelan."

"I'll never be Caelan. Even he has a better chance at you than I." Crooked grin.

The woman blushes. "I wouldn't say that."

"Oh? Do I have a chance, then?"

"Maybe."

"Great. I'll be watching you, then – and watching out for you, of course."

"There's no need for that. Would you like to come in for some tea?"

Tanith laughs. "If you'll let me in. Aren't you meant to be scared of me, Valkyrie?"

"I don't care anymore. I just want you back. Please."

"Of course. I am at your service, milady." A mocking bow and an honest glance.

Valkyrie giggles as she unbolts her door. "In that case, welcome."

* * *

**A/N: Someone needs to write retardedly, tooth-rottingly saccharine valith. Like, now. Since I'm tired as all Hell, and have blisters on about seven parts of each of my hands. Ow.**

**~Mademise Morte, August 4  
**


	217. Chapter 217

"We have made a discovery." Valkyrie clears her throat, and she forces herself to smile at the attentive Sorcerers. "The fangirls are capable of bringing the dead back to life."

"What does this mean for the Necromancers?" Wreath speaks, eyes wide with horror.

"Hell if I know. What this means for us all is that possible pairings have increased exponentially. They've already started the Morwenna/Davina and Serpine/Bliss."

There is a collective shudder, and some of the weaker minded sorcerers wonder if they should just kill themselves now and have done with it. Scapegrace is amongst these, as he had found out just the day before that Scapeduggery is not only existent but popular.

* * *

**A/N: One of these days, I'll write something decent and not have to give some flimsy, pathetic excuse.**

**Today is obviously not that day.**

**~Mademise Morte, August 5  
**


	218. Chapter 218

The chord rings through the air – it is soft, melancholy. Her eyes are empty as she stares at the wall. The guitar is clenched tightly against her body, and she can feel it humming, can hear the pure tone beneath the sound.

"B-flat major." The girl sitting cross-legged on the floor, chin cradled in one hand, smiles crookedly. "Why?"

"Because I can, why else?" She laughs, and it's the same pitch as the sound of the guitar.

"Point."

She strums another chord, calloused fingertips running gently over the strings. Her listener starts to sing, low voice catching against the chords. For a moment, the rhythm is awkward, but the guitarist catches up.

_Pastime with good company – I love, and shall, until I die…_

They continue, content in their music, and for that soft, peaceful time, it's like the war never existed, like nothing's wrong with the world. Valkyrie can forget, certainly, and Cassandra can too.

* * *

**A/N: I've known the song for years, but today's the first time I've actually sought the lyrics. I shall now drive my family up the wall by singing it incessantly.**

**Because I can.**

**~Mademise Morte, August 6  
**


	219. Chapter 219

"Is nowhere safe, these days?" Her smile is frosty, in a way that quite suits how her breath crystallizes in the cold air. She is answered with a shrug. The one who is shrugging is also staring.

She is staring at the way the dark-colored clothing hugs the cleanly muscled flesh, and the way the softly sweet eyes are half-laughing, and the way red lips are curved.

"Maybe not." They share a moment of silence, peaceful and pure, and then Clarabelle laughs a derisive laugh. "Especially not since the presence of fangirls effectively triples any subtextual undercurrents."

Valkyrie winces. "Indeed."

* * *

**A/N: That's right, Clarabelle, blame it all on the fangirls.**

**XD**

**~Mademise Morte, August 7  
**


	220. Chapter 220

"Hello, Finbar."

"Heyy, Skul-man." The extremely thin man manages to drag out the ritualistic formula of greeting to effectively insinuate two 'y's. "What can I do you for?"

The fangirl who is eating popcorn and staring in through the window giggles. Skulduggery manages to find it within himself to ignore her. "I've come to ask you if you would safeguard something for me."

"Oh, sure. It's not breakable or anything, is it?"

"Not in the way you'd think of it. Here." He hands over a nondescript-yet-hardy black case. It is identical to the hundreds of cases that Skulduggery has made a habit of leaving at the establishment of one Finbar Wrong.

"Okay, then." Finbar smiles his blissed-out smile, and the fangirl out the window basically faints, and is therefore not privy to the sight of Skulduggery plus façade kissing Finbar. She'll probably be really devastated about it, but who cares about that? Skulduggery doesn't.

* * *

**A/N: I feel like I should have an excuse for not having an excuse.**

**~Mademise Morte, August 8  
**


	221. Chapter 221

"Isn't it beautiful?" The sunset reflects itself in her eyes, and she is a part of it, becoming one with the fiery autumnal shades.

"It is." The one who speaks now is not at all the fire, but the edges of ice and blueness that corner about the flamishness of the sky. "Incredibly so. Thank you for sharing it with me."

"But of course." Her grin is impish, light, and she is truly happy.

When they kiss, she is warm to the touch, as if she is really consumed by the flames. It's really very sweet, China reflects. Just like Zephyr herself, really.

* * *

**A/N: It's a surprisingly plausible pairing.  
**

**~Mademise Morte, August 9  
**


	222. Chapter 222

They sit side by side on the bench, one with her knees tucked up against her chest, the other slinging an arm around her lover's shoulders. They are peaceful together.

"Don't you wish there were more moments like this? Just a chance to be?"

"Of course I do, Valkyrie. Of course I do." She smiles softly.

They are quiet a while more.

"The effect never really fades, does it?"

"I suppose not. For you, maybe."

Valkyrie giggles. "I guess."

* * *

**A/N: China/Valkyrie. Good pairing.**

**Not so much the snippet. Have to try that again soon.**

**~Mademise Morte, August 10  
**


	223. Chapter 223

Her eyes glitter, all bright and lovely, as shiny as the ornament that keeps long, dark hair in place. The evening wraps around her, like a cloak.

"You are absolutely gorgeous." He, too, glitters, with life and innocence. "Really."

"I was aware, but thank you for the compliment."

"I love you, you know?"

"Not surprising, even though I had you down as gay. Everyone loves me, in the end."

Fletcher sighs, still locked in his rapt contemplation.

* * *

**A/N: I, too, am sighing. With irritation at the snippet, as the case may be, but whatever.**

**Argh.**

**~Mademise Morte, August 11  
**


	224. Chapter 224

"That is seriously scary." Carol's eyes are wide as she stares into the glass display case. Next to her, her sister squeezes her hand, quickly and reassuringly.

"I think it's pretty beautiful, actually." Crystal smiles a soft, sad smile. "Fragile and frightening, but beautiful all the same."

"Eerie, though, isn't it?" Carol turns to her sister, and for a moment she can see the resemblance between the one she loves and the twistedly, wretchedly lovely exhibition. Yes, her twin's bones are not of steel, and no, her waist isn't sixteen inches around, but all the same, there is a certain symmetry, a cadence.

Beautiful and broken.

* * *

**A/N: I realized that, after I deleted the series of oneshots, I never got round to rewriting them.**

**So, uh, here you are. The start of a series of Crystal/Carol snippets. x3  
**

**~Mademise Morte, August 12  
**


	225. Chapter 225

Valkyrie rants, hands moving briskly. Her eyes are wide with desperation.

"I mean, for Christ's sake, she _looks exactly like me_. I mean, how the Hell would you tell us apart? Would anyone care if I were _gone_, since there's her now? Do you_ know_ how bloody scary it is, being next to someone with your face?"

Crystal glares at her. "Of course I do."

Valkyrie pauses, falters, tripping over her own words. "Oh."

"You're an idiot, you know. You talk and you talk and you talk, and you don't give a damn what you're saying and who's listening. You're not the center of the universe, you know. I hate people like you."

The floor is apparently suddenly fascinating, to Valkyrie.

"Hush, Crystal. Don't be so rude." Carol says this softly, sweetly, and it would be impossible not to hear.

Her twin glares. "_Why not?_"

"Because you'll be just as bad as she is if you continue like this." Carol shoots a furious look at Valkyrie as she places her arms around her twin.

"I'm sorry," Valkyrie mutters, contrite.

"Don't say it if you don't mean it." With that, the two girls stalk away, Crystal shaking slightly.

* * *

**A/N: 'Bloody', in retrospect, does not have quite the same impact as 'f-cking'.**

**~Mademise Morte, August 13  
**


	226. Chapter 226

"It's been an age since we last did this."

"Hasn't it?" Carol smiles her happy, empty smile. It's true after all, that they have been so caught up with life that they had scarce any time to themselves.

They are sitting on the park bench and smoking cigarettes. Various passers-by are giving them accusatory glances, and it's not clear whether this is because they are throwing away their youth and health on tobacco or because they look like lesbian lovers. Maybe it's a case of both.

"People are staring, aren't they?" Carol looks nervous, and Crystal shrugs.

"So what if they are? I'm tired of hiding, Carol. So tired."

As they kiss, Carol snaps her fingers tightly, and her cigarette is burnt to nothing.

* * *

**A/N: Out of curiosity, is there anyone out there who _isn't_ violently against the recreational use of tobacco? **

**I personally don't smoke, but the scent of cigar smoke has good memories attached to it for me...**

**~Mademise Morte, August 14  
**


	227. Chapter 227

"What's that reading?"

Carol looks at me with interest, and I blush furiously. I imagine it must look dreadful with my hair, and somewhat alarming against my ricepaper-thin skin, turned blue with veins. Blushes do not suit me well. That is to say, Mother always goes aflutter with reassurance when I do, so it really must be frightful. Everyone else just watches with great interest, like I'm going to fall dead.

"One of Gordon's books. He had some really perverted fantasies…"

"Oh." She blushes, and looks about as lovely as I don't. She's got this delicate, fair skin that always has some sort of color (other than white and blue, of course), and her blushing suits her. "Mother says we shouldn't speak ill of the dead."

"Firstly, who gives a damn what Mother says? Secondly," I accentuate this by putting the book down for a moment and adjusting myself to sit up a bit straighter (and take the opportunity to cross my legs as well), "Who said I was speaking ill of him?"

She giggles nervously, and now it's her turn to seem ridiculous. She has this annoyingly nasal giggle, the sort that makes you want to slap her. I, happily, have a perfectly normal _laugh_. "Gordon was a bloody genius," I say reflectively.

"I've never read his books."

"I thought not. Here." I toss her one of those from the pile at my side and nod. She grins and catches it.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Hush now, and read."

* * *

**A/N: This is the last of the rewritten oneshots, so this may or may not be the end of the twincest series-let, depending on whether or not I can actually think of more themes to write twincest on. XD**

**~Mademise Morte, August 15  
**


	228. Chapter 228

"Rape is a serious thing."

"Yes, Valkyrie, it is."

"Even if you get away without any particular perceived physical harm, there's always the mental trauma."

"Yes, Valkyrie, there is."

"And that is not a good thing."

"No, Valkyrie, it isn't. Why are you talking about this now? Are you feeling quite all-right?"

"No, I am not."

"Have you just _been _raped?"

"I wish."

"Care to share?"

"Apparently there's a whole fandom dedicated to me being almost-raped or raped or otherwise sexually harassed by various nameless males."

"Ah. I was hoping you wouldn't find that."

* * *

**A/N: Valkyrie talking to one of the yurishipper fangirls who is now doubling as a bodyguard, God knows why.**

**Remind me to never take a stroll through the older parts of the fandom ever ever again. Agh.**

**~Mademise Morte, August 16  
**


	229. Chapter 229

Her eyes are a deep, melting lovely brown, and her smiling lips are as delicate as the blush of a rosebud. She is as lovely as the dawnlight.

"You're gorgeous." He says this with complete honesty, and she giggles.

"You're a flatterer."

"No, really you are. The clothing suits you well."

"Thank you." She accepts this, because it does. Clothing is a kind of magic. It completely changes the person others think you are. It was the clothing that made the plain, staring girl into a Valkyrie, the tired soldier into Skulduggery, the prettyish thing into a China. It's a kind of magic, and it knows no limits.

It's even made Carol into the kind of person superficial Fletcher can dote upon.

* * *

**A/N: Completely and totally off-topic, but it has occurred to me that some of my issues with interpersonal relationships might stem from my somewhat skewed definitions of common terms of address. With this in mind, I am collecting data. How would you define the difference between 'acquaintance', 'friend', 'person-you-like' and 'person-you're-in-love-with'?**

**... As usual, I suspect I am overthinking this.**

**~Mademise Morte, August 17  
**


	230. Chapter 230

Her breath crystallizes in the air and hangs there, serving as a metaphor for the fragility of their relationship and the complete and total peace of the moment. It's quite sweet, or would be, if she could actually feel her hands. It is _cold._

"Want me to warm you up?" The smile is quirked softly.

"Gods above, yes." Crystal laughs as coldly as the air is, which is no small feat. She then kisses her sister, quite delicately, and her hands worm their way under clothing, which is more of a selfish action than you might have supposed.

Her twin half-jumps. "Sweet Jesus, your hands are _cold_!"

"I could probably have told you that. Do you really care?"

"No."

"Good." They resume their actions.

* * *

**A/N: I have no idea why I like twincest so much. Must be the Chinese-incest gene or something.**

**Or just the fact that it's yuri.**

**~Mademise Morte, August 18  
**


	231. Chapter 231

I stare into her eyes, and I see myself in her.

She is bold and lovely and young and strong, and from the exterior alone, you'd say we're nothing alike, since I'm old and weak and dark. You might even be right about it. That doesn't matter, though, because we are kindred in spirit, if not in body.

And we're in love. That always helps.

I truly love Tanith. I love the beauty and strength in her movements, the complete lack of fear and inhibition in her words, the sweetness of her heart despite it all, and somehow she loves me, the ever-pedantic old cynic. It amazes me.

It always has.

* * *

**A/N: Morwenna/Tanith :3**

**~Mademise Morte, August 19**


	232. Chapter 232

They told me I couldn't do it. They said it was against the natural order. They said it was impossible, that no one had ever succeeded.

They were wrong, obviously, because I am here in this quiet, cold dungeon, smiling my quiet smile and looking with satisfaction at the woman languishing on my table. She has white skin and dark eyes, and she is beautiful.

They said it was impossible, but obviously it isn't, because I've done it. I've done the impossible. Again.

"You look awfully pleased with yourself." Her grin is wicked.

"I am, my dear. I am."

"Why?"

"Because I have tamed a vampire. They said it was impossible."

"What makes you think you've tamed me?" There's nothing threatening to her voice.

"Haven't I?"

"You have a point." She laughs softly. "What does this make you, Clarabelle? A genius?"

"I'd like to think so."

* * *

**A/N: I don't know who the random vampire is. Maybe one from Moloch's. Meh.**

**~Mademise Morte, August 20  
**


	233. Chapter 233

Her smile is cattish, like the rest of her – alluring and delicate and dangerous.

"You're really cute, has anyone ever told you that?"

"Many people have." The veils are gone from her face, and the difference is really huge.

"You're a spider-person, right? It's weird, because you don't seem much like one."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that. There are some kinds of spider, where…" She trails off with a smirk.

"Yes?"

"The females bite their mate's head off during copulation." She laughs at the shock on my face. "Don't tell me you're scared, Sanguine."

"I actually am." I start edging away.

* * *

**A/N: Kehe :3**

**~Mademise Morte, August 21  
**


	234. Chapter 234

"Who fed you sugar?"

"I'm not sure I should tell you, as I suspect that you would like to murder them. Am I incorrect in this assumption?"

"Definitely not. With this in mind, please tell me who it was."

"Will you promise to make it fairly painless, Professor?"

"I can make no promises, but I suppose I could try. It would be quick, at least."

"Oh, good. It was Civet."

The look in his eyes is very pleasant. Neither is the way his scalpel gleams as he storms off.

* * *

**A/N: Kenspeckle and Clarabelle being generally cute.**

**~Mademise Morte, August 22  
**


	235. Chapter 235

"Elope with me." She blurts the words out, and as soon as she has, she knows their futility. This is mostly divined from China's expression, which is singularly unamused.

"Why?"

"I don't know. I didn't actually think that far." She grins widely. "Possibly stems from my being drunk."

"And the reason why you don't consider that a certainty is a mystery." China rolls her eyes. "Are you capable of getting home without being killed?"

This requires a certain amount of thought. "Probably not, but I'll try."

"Good." China gently shoos Tanith out of the library. As an afterthought, she bolts the door.

She then goes to the window to watch the blonde attempting to balance on top of moving vehicles.

* * *

**A/N: I don't see why it has to be that I have to leave the house before noon just to get to a Taiko performance. Can't schools have their lunchbreaks later? Like, at four or something? Then I won't have to wake up insanely early tomorrow just so I can sit in the car for half an hour then spend an afternoon setting up the damn drums. And then playing them for the cultural edification of a bunch of attention-deficit infants. Whilst wearing a God-awful ugly headband and a bright yellow happi coat.  
**

**(Totally irrelevant, I just wanted to say that to someone.)**

**~Mademise Morte, August 23  
**


	236. Chapter 236

"What's wrong, Valkyrie?"

"The reflection's gone. I don't have a reflection anymore."

"What?"

"I don't know either! She just… Wasn't there…"

Years pass, and they are agonizing. She has no reflection, it is true, and she has no shadow, doesn't appear in photographs. It's like she has no soul.

And then, one day, she finds her, in a quiet little alley. It's an amazing moment. An amazing feeling.

* * *

**A/N: Kehe... :D**

**~Mademise Morte, August 24  
**


	237. My Apologies Profound

It is with the deepest, most sincere sorrow that I inform you now that Poppling is going to be on hold for the next few… Weeks? Days? Hours? Ahahahaha…

Basically, it has come to my attention that I have been negligent in the area of my duties offscreen, those including finishing my homework. This homework including my deadly-dull French work. No, I'm not really sure how much that actually had to do with my obsessive fanfictioning…

Anyway. Apart from the homework, and the fact that I've not been practicing the violin (though that really has more to do with my fingertips being bleeding), I have come to realize that I have numerous deadlines to meet. Including the revision of my NaNo novel.

Long story short, I'm confiscating my own Internet access until I can get everything back into line. Ideally, I'll be offline until September 15. Realistically, I think I might be able to manage a week. Even more realistically, I think I'll probably cave in in under a day.

So, anyway, thanks for all your support so far, and aiding and abetting me in my fanfiction-obsessiveness. I remember I started this calendar with a warning that it wouldn't be overly ordered. It hasn't been at all, but I'll try to catch up with whatever I've missed once I give up on the whole no-Internet endeavour.

Unless I die horribly in the next few days, in which case I truly loved writing this story and one of my greatest regrets will probably be no longer being able to read my reviews.

Incidentally, that was one of the contributing factors to my realization of the fact that I'd probably be a lot more productive without the Internet. The fact that I'd deeply regret its lost if I were to suddenly perish.

Sigh.

~Mademise Morte, August 25


	238. Chapters 237 and 238

**A/N: As per expectations, it didn't even last a day, because my problem-solving skills suddenly become fantastic when I'm desperate to access the internet.**

* * *

"Everyone is different. You should start accepting that."

The room smells of cinnamon and chocolate, and her smile is wide, comforting. It's sweet, but it pulls at the heartstrings, forces a melancholy bent to the air.

"Well, yes, but still. It's kind of depressing that he hates me now just for a couple of empty words."

"Empty?"

"A couple of words, then." She smiles without humor.

"He's not the only person in the world, though. Don't lose too much heart." Clarabelle's tone is comforting, wheedling, soft. She is perched in her windowsill, staring at the girl who's leaning against the wall.

"Who'd love a crazy like me?" The question's rhetorical, the voice bitter.

"Lots of people."

"Example?"

"Me." Clarabelle laughs a shuddering laugh, all nerves.

"Oh."

* * *

"It's really something else, isn't it?" The words are reflective, contemplative, as silkily sultry as her smile.

"Truly it is." Her voice is as innocent and cheery as her expression, and there is a genuine awe about her eyes. "I can't imagine anything lovelier."

They are lounging at the side of the water, submerged to the waists, staring out to the sea.

"Would you ever consider it? Becoming like me?"

"I already am, my love."

"Considering it?"

"Like you."

Clarabelle laughs, and there is a shuddery, juddery moment when nothing is certain, nothing is concrete, and then she isn't Clarabelle any more, because she has lost all semblance of a name, and they are swimming off together, and the sea is just a bit more beautiful than it already was.

* * *

**A/N: First one's Valkyrie/Clarabelle, second's Clarabelle/Sea-Hag.**

**~Mademise Morte, August 26  
**


	239. Chapter 239

Peg was a good girl. She started out as one, at least. Unfortunately for her, insanity ran through the family.

It was the stories. It's always the stories. They run through your mind, run through your blood, and suddenly they are so much more than words, so much more than the reality of flesh. They are a law unto themselves, and not to be trifled with, though they so often are.

She remembers the lunatic asylum that her mother was locked up in. That was the day that her life truly broke off onto a tangent – she swore that she'd never end up in a place like that. She deluded herself into thinking she was sane enough not to need to, and others started believing. That was a good thing, as far as she was concerned.

She always was a storyteller, a dreamer, someone strangely divorced from reality. It was in her blood, and there was nothing that could be done to change that.

Much to the disgruntlement of a certain animated skeleton.

* * *

**A/N: This'll make more sense if you've read the short story _Gold, Babies and the Brothers Muldoon _by Derek Landy, available for free download on the official website.**

**~Mademise Morte, August 27  
**


	240. Chapter 240

She hums cheerfully, butchering the tune. She can hear the horror of it, but she doesn't really care. There are more important things to life than getting random melodies right, or so she thinks.

This is not an opinion that her lover shares.

"Will you please stop that?" The question is asked through a thin sheet of dark hair. Narrowed eyes glint dangerously from behind it.

"If I must." She is quiet for a moment, as she butters the toast and drains the coffee, and then she starts humming again.

"For the love of God, Valkyrie…"

"Don't tell me you're hung over."

"It doesn't matter! You're off-key! That wasn't meant to be a diminished fifth! You've reversed the rhythmic pattern! You're singing it _wrong_!"

"I love you too, Wreath…"

* * *

**A/N: I've actually seriously missed this pairing. Haven't seen it in ages.**

**~Mademise Morte, August 28  
**


	241. Chapter 241

Through the slip of diaphanous curtain, he watches with a hungry gaze, memorizing every sweetly soft detail of her young flesh.

She's not aware of him, as she goes through her life, day in and day out, struggling and striving through the trials and tribulations of an everyday existence. It is this that has convinced him that she is only a product of his desperately dreaming mind.

It touches him, that she's working so hard to get him back, though. It really does.

He misses her.

* * *

**A/N: So, like, this is inbetween Faceless Ones and Dark Days. I don't know why, but I've been feeling really nostalgic for the fanfictionworld around that time. Miss it so much.  
**

**~Mademise Morte, August 29  
**


	242. Chapter 242

_It's an honor to meet you._

There's something so delicious about her smile, the way her shoulders are twisting and her head is tilting. You almost forget the fact that the perpetual tilt of one's head points to a weakness of the inner ear, a complete and total lack of adequate balance.

In retrospect, those were horrible words to speak. They taunt and they tempt and they hurt in ways you wouldn't have thought.

What can you possibly say to that smile, to that sentence, that pleasantry that could mean _anything_, could be twisted in a hundred ways? Wreath really wants to know, as he stares at Melancholia.

Oh, yes. That might work.

_And you, my dear._

* * *

**A/N: Recently I have felt distanced and uninvolved in the fandom. Since I have felt distanced and uninvolved with pretty much everything recently, except maybe wasting as much time as possible, this was not much of a surprise.  
**

**However...**

**_DEATH BRINGER WILL BE OUT IN TWO DAYS! ! !_**

**:D**

**~Mademise Morte, August 30_  
_**


	243. Chapter 243

She skips around the room, eyes vacant. She's not really sure why she started skipping, but she is continuing simply because it is fun.

"Join in!" cries she, not slowing in her dance at all. Her voice is light and sweet as the air around her, as lovely and clear as her smile.

"Why should I?"

"Because it's _fun!_" Clarabelle laughs her giddy laugh.

Watching her with his arms crossed, Wreath decides that she has a truly screwed-up sense of what constitutes 'fun'.

* * *

**A/N: ... Meh. I still can't say that I actually like hetships very much, nostalgia or no nostalgia.**

**~Mademise Morte, August 31  
**


	244. Chapter 244

When she was setting out her plans for World Domination, there was a single factor she forgot to take into account. For once, it wasn't Skulduggery Pleasant.

It was, in fact, Valkyrie Cain.

It wasn't her strength or her power, per se, that completely and totally screwed everything up. It wasn't her fabulous connections, or her Ancient heritage.

It was, in fact, her beauty. Sharon Wrong certainly had not taken that into account.

For one thing, her eyes. She just had such amazingly bright, exquisite eyes. And her smile? To die for. Absolutely to die for.

Thus it was that another potential villain was foiled, and became one of the mindless drones lusting after Valkyrie Cain.

* * *

**A/N: There is, in fact, a whole horde of mindless drones lusting after Valkyrie Cain by this point.**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	245. Chapter 245

Tanith's eyes are wary. She has been well warned about the fangirls and their sinister powers, and she has decided that the easiest route will be to keep absolutely silent and hope no one says anything, effectively scarring her for life.

After about two minutes of staring at the clock, she sighs. She will not make it through the next eight hours in silence, mental scars or no mental scars.

"So, what is it that you madwomen ship?" She attempts a smile.

"Wreath/Skulduggery," answers a pretty young thing with bright green eyes.

Tanith is very quiet for a moment. She then slides off her chair to sit on the floor with the fangirls, and they are soon all in cheerful, lighthearted discussion over the finer points of yaoi.

* * *

**A/N: Don't ask how she pronounced the slash.**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	246. Chapter 246

"You look worried, Valkyrie."

"I actually am, Skul. I think we might have a situation."

"What's wrong?"

"It's Tanith."

"The Remnant didn't return, did it?" The skull manages to look worried.

"If only! No, it's worse than that."

"… Is that even possible?"

"Yes. She's befriended the Skulduggery/Wreath fangirls."

"Oh dear _God_."

* * *

**A/N: Because, as we all know, Tanith has some serious ship-forcing power where Wreath/Skul is involved.**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	247. Chapter 247

The porcelain perfection of her flawlessly sweet smile is something that Valkyrie has always personally hated. It's too saccharine. Too schooled. There's nothing human about it. Nothing lovable.

Unlike China's present expression, which is feral and possessive and incredibly, incredibly attractive, or so thinks Valkyrie, who is observing this expression from close proximity.

Though, considering the situation, 'observing' may be too distant a verb.

* * *

**A/N: Kehe.**

**~Mademise Morte, September 4  
**


	248. Chapter 248

She is dancing with an easy grace, tambourine singing with her as fittingly as is possible. The wildness to her, the anger in her eyes, seems so much more sensible when you see her like this. Someone cut from this cloth isn't ever going to conform.

Cassandra is standing to the side, strumming at the guitar. It's almost unnecessary, since the dancing woman is humming, and the tambourine is such a lovely accompaniment as it is, but all the same, it is appreciated. It's a nice gesture, and the careful chords are a good addition.

Sharon glances over at the guitarist, a smile playing about her lips. She's in her element, performing for the gaping crowd, and yet there is only one person she seeks to impress. That person is there, watching with a cryptic satisfaction as she strums.

* * *

**A/N: Despite how strange the pairing may seem to you _now_, it's not _that_ implausible.**

**~Mademise Morte, September 5  
**


	249. Chapter 249

She is running as fast as she can. She needs to get away from it all.

The road wears at her calloused feet. She wonders how much easier this would be if she actually had shoes. She wonders if it would be worth her while to duck into a store and steal some.

Probably not.

She's never really been good at dealing with confinement and commitment, so the memory of the seriousness in her lover's pale blue eyes is haunting her impossibly much.

Eventually, though, she is running in the other direction, because even Murder Rose doesn't have the kind of willpower it takes to combat the siren call of China Sorrows.

* * *

**A/N: I am actually socially retarded.**

**Shit.**

**~Mademise Morte, September 6  
**


	250. Chapter 250

"Mistress Sorrows, I love you."

She arches an eyebrow. "I am aware of the fact that English is not my first language, especially not in its current form. However, I am more than linguistically capable of expressing myself. I have a wide vocabulary, and some would go as far as to say that my speech-patterns verge on the poetic."

The student's eyes light up with hope.

"Having said all this, there are not enough words in any language spoken either currently or in the past to express how completely sick and twisted that is."

The student looks crestfallen. Absolutely crestfallen.

* * *

**A/N: On the television set before me, the cast of Glee is murdering _Jessie's Girl_.**

**Disapproval.**

**~Mademise Morte, September 7  
**


	251. Chapter 251

She is sitting with her homework and scribbling. She doesn't particularly like it, but she doesn't particularly dislike it, and in any case she's sure that her teacher will appreciate the aesthetic beauty of her writing, if not its legibility.

"It's not like _school_, Crystal. Do it properly."

"I don't want to~!"

"Oh, Crystal…"

"Yes, Carol?" She blinks wide, lovely, lustrous eyes.

"Never-mind…"

* * *

**A/N: I actually used a swung dash in dialogue. I am so going to regret this.**

**~Mademise Morte, September 8  
**


	252. Chapter 252

"That was nice, wasn't it?"

"Indeed it was." Valkyrie laughs her infectiously happy laugh. "I'm glad you liked it. I thought you might."

"It was amazing! Necromancy is truly… Epic? Is that the word?"

"It's one of them." Her smile is beautiful, and the other girl's heart is beating too fast.

"Thanks so much for sharing it with me. I never thought that magic could be so amazing." It's true enough, for she never did.

"Any time."

"Val-Steph?"

"Yes, Carol?"

"I love you."

Valkyrie nods, eyes grave. "And I you."

* * *

**A/N: If you absolutely must complain about the pairing, I'd prefer if you'd stick to their lack of chemistry and the horridness of Carol, as I would dearly like to continue believing that, _no_, first-cousins isn't incestuous.**

**Also. I am now obsessed with Angelspit's music.**

**~Mademise Morte, September 9  
**


	253. Chapter 253

"I had heard that Beryl had twins. Thought you were fraternal, though."

The two blonde girls glance at each other, eyes smiling a knowing smile. Their hands are linked tightly, and they have been standing apart from the crowd for quite a while.

"I am not her sister in blood, I am afraid. It's nice to meet you, though. My name is Clarabelle Edgley."

The old man squints. "Whose daughter would you be, then?"

"Oh, I'm not a blood relation. We're married."

Carol stifles a laugh at the look on the man's face.

* * *

**A/N: Clarabelle/Carol's cute too. I can also imagine a love triangle between Crystal, Carol and Clarabelle.**

**Full marks for alliteration.**

**~Mademise Morte, September 10  
**


	254. Chapter 254

"You're beautiful, China."

The words are softly spoken – barely murmured, in fact. They are plain words, all things considered, but they need no ornament to be true, and more certain than anything Murder knows. They are inarguable fact, an integral part of the universe. In all the hundreds of lives that she could have led, there are none in which she did not just half-whisper them.

"You flatter me, Rose." There is a seductive lilt to her smile, something strangely inviting to the angle of her eyes.

"How many people have fallen in love with you tonight?" The tinge of amusement in her voice is sweet, China thinks, but hardly important. It changes nothing about the question.

"Too many to count. You know the really interesting thing?"

"Do tell."

"I've only fallen in love with one."

The kiss is unexpected, but that doesn't make an inch of difference.

* * *

**A/N: Something written through the haze of sadness that comes from being, like, the only person in the fandom without Death Bringer.**

**~Mademise Morte, September 11  
**


	255. Chapter 255

There is a twisted beauty to her crooked smile, in the way she's on the verge of laughing or maybe crying, the way she looks like she's liable to explode at any given point in time. She's on edge, like the bitterly grinning blade of a knife. That's actually a pretty good comparison, considering her attire, with all its leather and metal.

Staring at her from the opposite end of the bar, Zephyr is absolutely sure of two things. Firstly, that this is Murder Rose of the Diablerie. Secondly, that she has fallen completely and totally in love.

This cannot turn out well.

* * *

**A/N: It really can't.**

**~Mademise Morte, September 12  
**


	256. Chapter 256

The thing about having bones that are liable to pop out of joint at any moment is that they are liable to do so at the worst possible moment. Something else about them is that you don't actually realize they're misplaced until they go back into place, generally with a rather alarming crack.

"_What the Hell was that?_" Valkyrie's eyes are wide with alarm. She looks as if she thinks the Bentley is about to fall to pieces, which is exactly the case. That is to say, it is the case that she thinks that the Bentley is about to fall apart, not that it is.

"My wrist. Sorry." The skeleton has the grace to look abashed, which, all things considered, is impossible, but that is of no account.

* * *

**A/N: I actually wish I could say that this was in no way inspired by my own life.**

**~Mademise Morte, September 13  
**


	257. Chapter 257

The light glimmers and gleams off the blade of the sword leaned against the mantelpiece and illuminated by the warm, rollicking, frolicking flame that is built among sturdy, picturesque logs and surrounded by red brick, and the pure primeval energy is as lasting, with as much of a promise of an eternity, as the author hopes that this sentence has had.

Clarabelle is sitting by the fire, next to her lover and her love, and the flamelight dances off her knitting needles as they clack. She is smiling, as is her love, because this is a moment of pure bliss, and not to be disturbed.

The wind shrieks and the flame wavers, and with a slight frown and a twist of her hand, Valkyrie strengthens the fire, aiding it and abetting it to the best of her abilities.

* * *

**A/N: I know how stupid this sounds, but I miss the days when people actually reviewed.**

**~Mademise Morte, September 14  
**


	258. Chapter 258

"Help me lace it up, dear?" China smiles her sweetest, most saccharine smile, and, blushing, Carol half trips over herself hurrying to help. By some strange twist of fate, she has been left to serve as the personal maidservant of one China Sorrows. She doesn't particularly mind, though she still doesn't understand it. It's like the plot of an incredibly cliché yuri manga.

Her fingers tremble as she neatly ties the knot at the end of the corset's lacing, and China nods with satisfaction. "Good girl."

Carol practically faints.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry about the inanity of this one. ^^;;**

**~Mademise Morte, September 15  
**


	259. Chapter 259

"You look really well."

"Thank you!" Clarabelle's mouth is slightly open in a soft gape, cheeks blushing cheerfully. She rather likes being complimented.

"Any time, dove." The smile in return is nonchalant. "So, how have you been?"

"Okay. The same." She laughs hollowly, and they both know it's a lie, but a good one. She doesn't want to think about how life has actually been, how horrifically different it's been from her ideal world. Tanith can certainly understand that, and so the white lie goes uncommented upon.

* * *

**A/N: My teeth hurt, and I don't have Death Bringer, and my teeth hurt, and my teeth hurt, and I'm just being obnoxious, ne~?**

**Sigh.**

**~Mademise Morte, September 16  
**


	260. Chapter 260

There is a certain way that your heart aches when you encounter something absolutely beautiful, something that is undeniably, intrinsically lovely, something that changes the world in a myriad ways simply by existing.

With her heart twisting and her breath caught in her throat, Murder Rose listens.

The orchestra is caught up by the folly of the Follia, and it would be impossible to remain distant.

"That was an amazing performance." She speaks to the lutenist when it's all over, when she's back out in the cold, bitter stones streets, illuminated by the fluorescent glows of all that is artificial. There might be beauty here, but she is blinded to it. She is too busy regarding the lutenist, and remembering the music.

"You're really much too kind. Anyway, it was the follia that was responsible! My instrument and I were just convenient for it."

"It's a kind of magic, isn't it?"

"It is, and not the only one." The small woman smiles and moves her hands in the air. Out of nowhere, rainbows begin to form from the ambient lights. "You may call me Zephyr."

"I'm Murder Rose."

"Nice name."

"Indeed." Their speech fails them then, as do Zephyr's magic and the ambient music. Touch, on the other hand, is yet another kind of magic, and that seems to be working out quite well…

* * *

**A/N: If you are so inclined, YouTube search Hesperion XXI's rendition of Vivaldi's Follia. If you have half a heart, you will fall in love.**

**~Mademise Morte, September 17  
**


	261. Chapter 261

"You're being obnoxious. Either go away or stop singing." Wreath the cleric sighs with irritation as he reshuffles his papers.

The blonde pouts. "Won't you amuse me?"

"I am working."

"And that means that you have no time for your lover?"

"Actually, Fletcher, it does."

* * *

**A/N: I have a sore throat from attempting to figure out how to put the hymn _We Will Rise Again_ into a round, since it's been bugging me. The good thing is I kind of succeeded. The bad thing is I don't think I ever want to open my mouth ever again.**

**~Mademise Morte, September 18  
**


	262. Chapter 262

"Shut up, shut up, shut up." Valkyrie's eyes are wild and horrified as she stares at the girl with the brightly colored hair.

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Valkyrie, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Clarabelle smiles her cryptic little smile, her broken, empty little smile.

"Take it back. Say you didn't mean it."

"Oh, but I did. I absolutely did."

"No, you didn't. You couldn't have."

"Why does that frighten you so much? Why do you fear being loved like this? Isn't it a good thing, to think that there are people who still care for you, who would do anything for you?"

"No. No, it isn't."

"Well, it should be. Take it in the spirit in which it was meant."

Valkyrie, at this point, is entirely unsure of whether she should laugh or cry.

* * *

**A/N: As ever, this is lacking in Death Bringer spoilers, though for a different reason. I have the book, I'm somewhere around halfway through, but I'm trying not to let that taint my writing, since I am vaguely aware of the fact that there are some poor souls who don't have it. The next paragraph, on the other hand...**

**So. Shameless self-advertisement here: I'm writing this story called _Problems Like You_. It's M-rated for language and... Let's call them _Themes_. Some saffic, some het. Anyway. The more I read of Death Bringer, the more likely that scenario seems. That is, Valkyrie going crazy when she is confessed to. Kind of like the one we've got here, only more extreme. Anyway. Read that story. It's kind of fun in a twisted way, or whatever.**

**:D**

**~Mademise Morte, September 19**

**_Oh and also I don't own Hamlet, or the brief quotation uttered by Clarabelle._  
**


	263. Chapter 263

**Kind of spoiler-y!**

* * *

_You need someone smart, and strong, and capable. Someone assured. You need someone to challenge you. You need someone better than you._

Valkyrie grins her savage grin. She is up against Tanith, and as ever, she's completely off balance. She has no idea who or what is controlling Tanith, what is motivating her and why, and she has no idea what will happen next. It's uncertain, and gloriously so.

In the end, she's defeated, as she always is, but she can't bring herself to mind. Someday she'll be the victor, she's sure, but until then she's not going to worry about it too much. She's just going to hold on for dear life.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, I just loved that section _way_ too much. Seriously.**

**I'll try and get back to non-spoiler-based snippets soon...  
**

**~Mademise Morte, September 20  
**


	264. Chapter 264

She glances around quickly before she sighs and crumples in on herself. She is exhausted beyond words.

"You okay?"

She straightens as quickly as she can, trying to regain her composure. "Of course," she says, voice steady as she is not.

"I see." The intruder smiles softly, sadly. "Will you ever stop lying, China?"

"Never." She'd almost gotten her control over herself back, but it slips and she finds herself wrapped in the arms of one Valkyrie Cain.

* * *

**A/N: Kehe :3**

**~Mademise Morte, September 21  
**


	265. Chapter 265

**Spoilers~!**

* * *

She is running and the sound of nothing is beautiful. The city was all-right, she supposes, but it had nothing on this – the freedom of knowing that there is no one who expects anyone of you, the knowledge that you could do anything and there would be no one to judge. For her, constantly under the scrutiny, constantly bearing the hate of others, it is the most amazing thing in the world.

Davina Marr laughs, and it is testimony to the moment that the sound does not hurt the peace at all.

"May I run with you?" The words are strangely relaxed, cool. The speaker is all-of-a-sudden running next to the woman with mismatched eyes. She has red hair and gorgeous cheekbones.

Davina thinks for a moment, and then she laughs again. "Why not?"

* * *

**A/N: Davina/Eliza. It was impossible not to think of.**

**~Mademise Morte, September 22  
**


	266. Chapter 266

**Still slightly spoiler-y~!**

* * *

She's been lonely, the past few days. Impossibly, heartbreakingly lonesome. It's not exactly something she's unused to—how could it ever be?—but it hurts, all the same. Her spirit hangs heavy with melancholy and life feels hollow and faraway.

That is, until the exact moment when she opens her door, listening without aggravation to the way the old hinges creak, and sees the soft, irking smile of one China Sorrows. It doesn't matter that they are, in her mind, rivals, that China is nothing but a traitor. Traitor or not, she's another being in this broken little world, and one that Eliza can actually feel anything for. It's miraculous.

Nothing of this goes into her expression, of course. She merely pulls the door open wider, trying to make the room seem more inviting with whatever dregs of suggestion she has left, and trying, more desperately than anything, to make China fall in love with her.

* * *

**A/N: For the lovely Miss Yvette Quick, who apparently is now into yuri. Either that, or understands how much I appreciate it. XD**

**~Mademise Morte, September 23  
**


	267. Chapter 267

"That looks complicated."

"Stop sitting on my table. It's not built to carry the weight."

"That does not change the fact that your work looks fascinatingly complex, Skulduggery. It merely makes me wonder how it is that your table withstands your files and folders."

"It does so perfectly well, though the combined weight is what is worrying me somewhat. Will you please leave me to my exceedingly involved figures?"

"You need company. You are frowning."

"I cannot frown, Clarabelle. I am a skeleton."

"Nevertheless. I shall stay here and be a comfort and support."

"I would really rather you didn't."

"That's just too bad, then."

* * *

**A/N: Finally, a non-spoiler-y one...**

**~Mademise Morte, September 24  
**


	268. Chapter 268

**Spoilers and suggestive-ness~!**

* * *

"Good morning." China's low voice is breathy, soft, and her long eyelashes languish close to marble-pure skin. Her eyes are glowing in the mornlight, and she is lovely. "Do I by any chance know your name this time?"

The woman lying next to her gives waking up a valiant attempt. She has the hangover from Hell, and she has very little immediate memory, especially considering her proximity to the most beautiful woman on earth. Nevertheless, she gives the question her fullest consideration.

"I really hope you do, because I certainly don't."

"Oh, lovely." China sighs. "I'm going to get some tea. Would you like some?"

"Thank you. Yes."

When China has returned to the faintly lit room, she squints at the woman on her bed, standing in her doorway with two cups of tea in hand. It takes a while, but she eventually manages to place the red hair in amongst all her other memories of waking up next to this woman. "You're Eliza Scorn."

The woman blinks. "That sounds like it might not be wrong. Can I have my tea now?"

"But of course."

* * *

**A/N: I am actually having far too much fun with Eliza's character...**

**~Mademise Morte, September 25  
**


	269. Chapter 269

"Skulduggery informs me that you've been bothering him while he works, Clarabelle. Is this true?"

"It's not impossible." She shrugs, trying to make her eyes look wider, emptier. Hopefully it will make Guild think that she looks like his daughter and stop speaking to her like she's an adult. It creeps her out, just a bit.

"For your repentance, you shall babysit the fangirls from beyond the fourth wall. Will you submit to this without a struggle?"

She gets the vague sense that she shouldn't tell him she's pretty much friends with all of them, so she just lets her eyes gleam with tears and nods. Hopefully it will make him feel a little bit guilty or something like that.

* * *

**A/N: I have found my Destined One. She is a contrabass. I'm sure we'll be very happy together.**

**~Mademise Morte, September 26  
**


	270. Chapter 270

"I don't think I'll ever understand you." There's a slight exasperation to her voice, but she's smiling, so everything's okay. Clarabelle tilts her head.

"If you understood me, then I'd lose all my inexplicable charm. I'm not lovable, but the fact that I'm incorrigibly strange means that I am at least slightly attractive and at the very least fascinating."

"You're not unlovable. You wouldn't be, even if you were normal."

"Thanks for the lies." Clarabelle grins at Valkyrie. "I appreciate them."

* * *

**A/N: I retrospectively find it fitting that I found love on the two-hundred and _sixty-ninth_ day of the year.**

**~Mademise Morte, September 27  
**


	271. Chapter 271

Her voice is a sirensong, and like an enchanted, lonely sailor, the other girl follows after it, her heart pulling the rest of her along. She is drawn in entirely, and she doesn't mind a whit.

The song is beauty. It is a wonder and a joy, but mostly a wonder.

She finds the small lake in middle of the forest soon, and she smiles. The singer is here, and she is young and beautiful and definitely not human. She stops singing, and the listener's heart lurches, before steadying at the way that she is smiling.

"Surrender your name to the deep, and join me." The words are like magic, and obeyed in a heartbeat.

* * *

**A/N: My grandmother has been hospitalized. I am slightly scared and rather worried.**

**~Mademise Morte, September 28  
**


	272. Chapter 272

The sky is lovely in the dawn, all fiery color and aching beauty. The rays of light brush softly over the tanned skin of one Valkyrie Cain. It makes her seem inhuman, like an evanescent spirit of the dawn.

"You're gorgeous."

"Aren't I just?" She smiles a smirk.

"I mean, I was told you were pretty, but… _Wow._"

Valkyrie giggles, and then scowls as China Sorrows strolls past. "Can't you leave me with even _one_?" she asks, voice filled with aggravation.

"What, and have you stolen away from me?" The woman with blue eyes winks at her, and Valkyrie cannot help but to laugh.

* * *

**A/N: Kehe. :3**

**~Mademise Morte, September 29  
**


	273. Chapter 273

**Spoilers~**

* * *

"Whoa. Scary." There's a certain amount of respect in his voice as he watches the collection of shadows dart about, destroying everything in sight. Apart from himself, of course, but only because he flickers in and out of existence as quickly as he can.

"Isn't it just?" The voice is sweet against his ear, and with a violent shudder he teleports himself as far away as he can. Which proves to be about five meters distant.

"Skulduggery," he says, sure that his words are heard, because the skeleton is tilting his head attentively, "I respect you deeply but I really don't feel comfortable with the situation any longer. Bye."

This time he makes it to the other end of the earth.

* * *

**A/N: Kehe. :3**

**~Mademise Morte, September 30  
**


	274. Chapter 274

**No spoilers. Just wishful thinking.**

* * *

She has been chasing him for what feels like forever, following stories of men who drawled and walls with spiderweb cracks. She has been indefatigable in her persistence, and finally it has paid off.

"I've found you." Her voice is dry, and yet there's a touch of a velvety warmth to it. It's relieved.

"Why, yes, I do believe you have. Good job." His voice is amused.

"It's not that funny. I've been wanting you, ever since… That."

"Why, whatever could you mean?" He rolls the eyes he doesn't have.

"We were separated, right? After they caught me? Well, I suppose something of the remnant stayed behind."

"Admit it was you, and I'll let you stay."

"Fine. Billy-Ray Sanguine, will you allow me to accompany you in your travels and travails?"

"Yes, Tanith, I will.

* * *

**A/N: I miss Tanith.**

**~Mademise Morte, October 1  
**


	275. Chapter 275

"You look scared." Her tone is cheerful, her smile even more so.

"I actually kind of am. Will you let me go?" The Grand Mage—Valkyrie—looks extraordinarily frightened.

"Not until I finish confessing."

Valkyrie's eyes widen comically, and Clarabelle sighs, resting her head against her hand.

"Not like _that._"

"Then how?"

"You remember that thing a few decades ago, when the fourth wall got a tiny bit injured?"

"And I had to talk to the psycho lesbians, yes."

"Well, that might have been my fault. Stop staring at me like that. I'm scared now." Clarabelle nods nervously, and starts running. She is closely tailed by Valkyrie, who looks like she's in a somewhat homicidal mood.

* * *

**A/N: As suggested by Miss Yvette Quick.**

**~Mademise Morte, October 2  
**


	276. Chapter 276

"Your fingers are bleeding, Tanith. What have you been fighting this time?" Skulduggery tilts his head slightly, in a friendly sort of way, or so he thinks. In actuality, all it serves to communicate is that his skull is on slightly loose.

She rolls her eyes. "Do you have any tact at all, Skulduggery?"

"In abundance. I simply choose to reserve it for those occasions when it doesn't interfere with my curiosity."

"Right."

"So what have you been killing now?"

"A double bass."

His head turns to the side, to rest against his shoulder. He is beginning to resemble a headless horseman.

* * *

**A/N: To try to convince you of the horrific kind of situation I've been in for the last few days (the good news is that my grandmother's not in the hospital any more. The bad news is that she's here instead), I will now offer to you an idea I've been toying with, just to see how much hatemail I get.**

**For my next year-long fanfic, I put my iPod on shuffle and do a snippet based on a different song every day.**

**It's pretty bad, ne?  
**

**~Mademise Morte, October 3  
**


	277. Chapter 277

"I am impressed."

"Thought you might be." Her smirk is cattish, smug. "It is, after all, a masterwork."

"I suppose it is, at that. I suppose you'll want a reward of some sort now?"

"Might not be averse to it, all things considered."

"Oh, Clarabelle…"

"Yes, China?" She has not stopped grinning, though she adds batted lashes to the effect.

"Never-mind…"

* * *

**A/N: Don't overthink it. It's meant to be mindless. =3**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	278. Chapter 278

**Spoilerish I suppose?**

* * *

She looks into the eyes of her reflection, and her reflection looks back.

"You're staring awfully much, Valkyrie. It's kind of scary."

"Oh, so you can feel fear now, can you?"

"I don't know. Can you?"

That kind of stings.

"I thought reflections were meant to be emotionless."

"But then, humans aren't, and look at you."

That really does hurt. "I feel."

"Or do you just think you do? When you really get down to it, Valkyrie, who's the human one here?"

Valkyrie narrows her eyes. "Who's been telling you all this?"

"Eliza Scorn."

"Well, tell her to stop it. It's annoying."

* * *

**A/N: I'm so tired I can't even remember whether she came back to life or not.**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	279. Chapter 279

The gray of the sky is cold. It's almost sad, reflects the girl staring up at it from the playground swing, feet off the ground and purple-blonde braids hanging loose.

"It looks lonely, doesn't it?" The voice contains in its tones a smile, and Clarabelle giggles.

"It really does."

China is indeed smiling – the expression is indulgent, sweet, almost affectionate.

"Love you, China!" The words are on one hand flippant, and on the other hand completely serious.

China pauses. "And I you."

* * *

**A/N: I am seriously never going to get tired of shipping Clarabelle.**

**~Mademise Morte, October 6  
**


	280. Chapter 280

There's a heartrending quality to her loveliness. To look at her is to have your soul torn up into a hundred little pieces, stomped upon, chewed on and spat out. Your mind immediately envisions her a background of snow and similarly moé things.

"Mistress Cain, I am not worthy." The man is just another one of her admirers, traveled here to stand and fall in love and be utterly rejected.

"Damn straight you aren't." There's vague worry in her eyes, and she starts walking away. After a few steps, she stops and turns back. "You're Fletcher, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Interesting. You look quite dull without the hair." If there had been any pity to her gaze, it is gone now, and she continues walking.

* * *

**A/N: Valkyrie is a sad girl in snow now, apparently. XD  
**

**~Mademise Morte, October 7  
**


	281. Chapter 281

Apathy and empathy and pathos and a complete and total wish for company are running through her head, and she is half-smiling, half frowning. The conflicting emotions make her look slightly deranged.

"Hello, dear." Clarabelle does not mind the crazy. She's pretty well-adjusted.

"Oh. Hi." Valkyrie's eyes flicker for a moment before she is fully present again. "Nice to see you."

"I daresay it is. It's been an age, hasn't it?"

"Oh, but it has. Wow."

"Want to get some tea, then?"

"Um." She considers it, tilting her head, and once again she looks solidly human. "Sure, I guess. I didn't have very much planned."

"Great!" Clarabelle grins. "I've missed you, you know?"

"I suppose I've missed you too."

"Yes." Clarabelle watches the way Valkyrie's eyes are now. "You have, haven't you?"

* * *

**A/N: Sad girl in snow is my new mental representation of dear Valkyrie.**

**~Mademise Morte, October 8  
**


	282. Chapter 282

The blood is red and pink against the snow, and Valkyrie is screaming wildly and trying to run and not doing terribly well. The snow's pretty deep, after all. Any form of locomotion would be somewhat awkward.

She reaches in the end, but it's a far sight too late. Whatever blood Fletcher had had is spilled, and all that is left is his lifeless corpse.

"Will you take me seriously _now_, Valkyrie?"

She spins around to glare at the vampire. "You're very stupid," she says quietly, and then he is no more, leaving her to break down and grieve.

* * *

**A/N: I spent an afternoon in a catechism class, and then two hours kneeling in church because the bloody 'Newly Translated' mass is longer and has moar kneeling. I needed to brutally murder something. Fletcher and Caelan suggested themselves.  
**

**~Mademise Morte, October 9  
**


	283. Chapter 283

"What's that you're reading?"

"It is the mutilated carcass of a dead tree."

"Is it, then?"

"Yes, it is."

"That's nice."

"Not really. Not for the tree, anyway."

"Of course. Anyway, will you have a conversation with me?"

The Nye looks up from its book and frowns at Clarabelle. "Isn't that what you're doing now?"

"Is it?"

"I rather think it is."

* * *

**A/N: Just some fluffy ClaraNye.**

**=D**

**~Mademise Morte, October 10  
**


	284. Chapter 284

The clock's ticking is repetitive and mind numbing as clockwork is wont to be, and yet she does not find it the least bit calming. It puts an edge to her, makes her feel restless.

"What's the matter?" China's smile is sympathetic. She is holding a cup of tea, and her eyes are concerned.

"Nothing. The clock."

"It's irritating, isn't it?" China laughs softly. "I've always hated it."

"Why do you keep it, then?"

"To see if people will compliment it emptily." The woman shrugs. "If they do, they're not worth the while."

Crystal smiles.

* * *

**A/N: Meh.**

**~Mademise Morte, October 11  
**


	285. Chapter 285

They are sitting seiza-style. One is staring into her bowl of tea, and the other is staring at the girl across the table. They are quiet. They are cheerful.

"So, Tanith, how are you enjoying Japan so far?" Melancholia smiles.

"It's nice. Clean."

"It is, isn't it?" Melancholia sips her tea. "I'm glad we decided to visit."

"Indeed. It was nice to meet your parents."

Melancholia blushes slightly. "Right…"

* * *

**A/N: Apparently I think Melancholia's parents live in Japan. Huh. Did not realize that...**

**~Mademise Morte, October 12  
**


	286. Chapter 286

"Valkyrie… It's time to wake up…"

"Don't want to." She burrows herself deeper into the covers.

"That's just too bad, isn't it? Come on, get up…"

"Five more minutes."

"You said that half an hour ago."

"Did I? Well, I want five _more _minutes."

"Okay then."

"Really?"

"No."

"… I hate you."

"Just as long as you get up." Tanith smiles.

"I am so going to do this to you the next time you get completely and totally defeated by a crazy villain and then have to explain yourself to the elders at some ungodly hour of the morning."

"If the thought makes you feel better, then sure. Now, get up."

* * *

**A/N: Me-h.**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	287. Chapter 287

She stares at her reflection in the mirror, and she can't help the sick little giggle that escapes her lips. She looks so… Solid. So blockish. So heavy.

"Stop it, Valkyrie." The speaker is standing at the door, her eyes pitying.

"I could say the same to you."

"I'm not the one with the eating disorder." Her tone of voice is mild yet amused. Valkyrie raises an eyebrow.

"Oho?"

Crystal laughs. "Let's try again. I'm not the one caught in a downwards spiral. Trust me, love, it never ends well."

Valkyrie crumples in on herself somewhat. "I want it to."

Crystal sighs and walks towards her cousin. "I know, sweet, but it won't. Besides, there are more important things than being skinny."

"Says the being of skin, bones and fluorescent hair."

Crystal smiles at her softly. "Indeed."

* * *

**A/N: Crystal/Valkyrie. =D**

**~Mademise Morte, October 14  
**


	288. Chapter 288

"I'm not sure if I should be laughing or crying right now."

"I think that sort of blank look you're wearing right now pretty much sums it up… Is that even physically possible?"

"Apparently so."

They tilt their heads in unison, slightly mystified and completely enraptured.

"What are you two doing?" Valkyrie is as blunt as ever as she walks towards the twins, smiling somewhat because it's quite a nice day.

"Watching your boyfriends fight over you." Crystal pauses. "Hello."

Valkyrie looks quickly in the direction the twins have indicated, and she is still. "… Huh," she says at length, and she tilts her head. "Interesting."

* * *

**A/N: Make of that what you will.**

**(I found out today that this story is on the TvTropes SkulPles FanFic recs page, and I just started grinning all crazy-like. Whoever was responsible for that, I love you to death.)**

**~Mademise Morte, October 15  
**


	289. Chapter 289

"Qu'est-ce que vous faisez, Valkyrie?" Clarabelle's eyes are inquisitive, her smile cheerful.

"Sorry?"

"What are you doing?"

"What does it _look _like I'm doing?"

"Painting a rose red. I'm wondering if I've gone mad, you see, and started hallucinating _Alice._"

"Ah. No, I actually am painting the rose. It's for decorative purposes."

"Fascinating. I've always liked roses, you know?"

"I can make one for you, if you like."

"Really? Thanks!"

"It doesn't actually mean anything, you know. It's just an artificial flower. Could you please stop looking at me like that?"

* * *

**A/N: I imagine her having an excellent accent for everything before the comma, and then collapsing into a dry, British kind of speech-style...**

**~Mademise Morte, October 16  
**


	290. Chapter 290

"Oh, how cute!"

"Your eyes are scaring me, Zephyr. It's not _that _cute, is it? Is anything actually that cute, for that matter?"

"Stop being such a buzzkill, Sev, and enjoy the damn fanservice."

"I don't see why you're forcing me to watch anime reruns with you. What makes you think I'll appreciate them?"

"Nothing, but if you love me at all, you'll shut up and watch."

Sev sighs. "Anything for you, oh-Zephyr-the-tyrant."

"Good boy." She ruffles his hair and he just looks at the ground.

* * *

**A/N: Can't talk, watching Glee. x3**

**~Mademise Morte, October 17  
**


	291. Chapter 291

She stares at the boiling water, watching it bubble and pop. It looks rather excitable, she thinks. Somewhat energetic. A little frightening.

"There's no need to look at it like it murdered your mother, Zephyr. It's just water."

"Shut up, Sev." Her voice is irritable, he thinks. Somewhat blood-chilling. A little creepy. "Besides, it was my ex, not my mother. _She_ was hung, drawn and quartered."

Her tone is now even, he thinks. Some monotonous. A little empty.

"Of course. Though, it wasn't really this water specifically, was it?"

"I doubt it. Stop trying to be optimistic. It's extremely annoying."

"Yes, Zephyr…"

* * *

**A/N: I'm kind of on a Zephyr/Sev kick right now, since I can make her yell at people in my stead...**

**~Mademise Morte, October 18  
**


	292. Chapter 292

"I really hate arachnids." Her voice is calm as her expression is not, and her hair is going in all sorts of illogical directions as she runs as quickly as her feet will take her.

"Obviously not an opinion I share, but duly noted." Miss Mist giggles and continues pursuing the girl in the black leather.

"No, like _really_ hate."

"That was rather what I thought you meant, dear, but again, noted."

"Does that constitute fair warning?" Zephyr laughs as she turns around, still running, and tries to aim her throwing dagger.

"Probably, though I should warn you that you're about to slam into a wall."

"Damn."

* * *

**A/N: Young Madam Mist was apparently _Miss _Mist in the strange continuity that is my perception of the series.**

**~Mademise Morte, October 19  
**


	293. Chapter 293

"Do you have a moment, Tanith?" Valkyrie is standing outside the door with a smile that is as innocuous as it is innocent, holding tightly the carefully wrapped box of homemade cookies.

"Valkyrie?" The blonde woman opens the door. She looks tired, and harassed, and like she is being prevailed upon far too much, like she's given up too many of her moments. The moment she sees her friend, though, she seems to smoothen out, to make a desperate attempt at being the normal, hard-as-nails Tanith Low she presents herself as. "Of course I have a moment. It's you, after all."

"Well, thank God. I would have hated to come all the way here to be turned away." She laughs. "Do you need help with anything, by the by? I'm not exactly as useless as I seem."

"I couldn't trouble you like that, Val."

"Of course you can. You're my friend." She grins, and Tanith answers in kind, and when she does, it really seems sincere, honest and not the least bit forced.

* * *

**A/N: Valith! :D**

**~Mademise Morte, October 20**


	294. Chapter 294

She is lying in bed, staring at the pitted ceiling and smiling. She is happy. She feels safe, and she feels comforted, and she feels content.

"Love you," she says, reaching a small hand out to clasp her lover's, and she knows that the other girl is smiling too, in a manner as peaceful as any.

China squeezes Murder's hand, and she answers, her voice soft, sweet. "And I you… Christ, Rose, do you think that this will ever end?"

"Of course it won't, Sorrows. It's too perfect for that."

It does, of course, because humanity is stupid, and humanity likes wars, but even centuries later, the memory of this exchange keeps China from losing all her faith in life.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so the syntax is completely wrong. Whatever. It's yuri. It transcends language. XD  
**

**~Mademise Morte, October 21  
**


	295. Chapter 295

The world is bright. It is a happy, cheery place, filled with people who are not discontent, and plants that aren't being maltreated awfully much, and rainbows. Also, unicorns.

Portia is wincing. Clarabelle's perception of the universe is beautiful, she knows, but it scares her. She doesn't want to think that the world is beautiful, because she's a Necromancer, and if she can think that life is worth living, then she would become scared of death.

Clarabelle puts a hand towards her, and strokes her cheek softly. "It's okay, you know," she murmurs, eyes comforting. "You can enjoy it while it lasts."

Portia bursts into tears, and is in short order drawn into Clarabelle's embrace.

* * *

**A/N: Wasn't Portia introduced in Dark Days or something like that? I remember her quite distinctly, but can't find any evidence on the Internet that she exists... Am I hallucinating?**

**~Mademise Morte, October 22**


	296. Chapter 296

"Is there any universe where this conversation _isn't_incredibly bizarre?"

"No. No, I don't think there is."

They lapse into silence, staring at each other, eyes sharp and mouths twisted into softly sadistic smiles. Billy-Ray is lounging, and yet fierce, malice incarnate.

The other is softly twitching under the weight of a question it can't ask. "How did you lose your eyes," it says, finally.

"I'm glad you asked," says Billy-Ray, smiling at the Nye.

* * *

**A/N: I get the vague sense that I completely misconstrued Portia's character. Should go fix that as soon as I have the time...**

**~Mademise Morte, October 23  
**


	297. Chapter 297

"Have I ever told you how much I hate spiders?"

"Come to think of it, yes. You have. Many times, and at great length."

"Are you sure?"

"Indeed. Even if you hadn't, I would have assumed you disliked them, based on your numerous rants about how much you despise all things living."

"Because I really hate spiders."

Dusk sighs. "Yes, Vaurien, I would imagine that you do."

* * *

**A/N: Randomness makes me happy.**

**~Mademise Morte, October 24  
**


	298. Chapter 298

She sings softly, kicking out her legs as she skips down the lightly-trodden pathway. She is walking here, surrounded by trees and rather mournful birds, because she couldn't stand being around people any longer.

Their company tires her. It's a constant burden, to have to be attentive and polite and to have to care, at least enough to pretend to. She wishes she didn't have to, and that's when she comes out here, to be alone.

"What brings you out here, Clarabelle?" The voice is soft, and China Sorrows appears out of a row of trees. Clarabelle sighs.

"I wanted to be alone."

"I'll leave you to it, then," says the woman, already fading away.

"It's okay. You can stay, if you want." Clarabelle smiles shyly, and China laughs.

"Certainly, then."

Somehow, the two women feel relaxed in each others' presence. They are without pretence and, more than anything, without worry.

* * *

**A/N: I think this was the first time it took three attempts to produce an okay snippet...**

**~Mademise Morte, October 25  
**


	299. Chapter 299

He is squinting at the sky. It is rather bright, due to the sun's somewhat excessive enthusiasm, and despite the fact that it is raining somewhat torrentially.

"Horrible, isn't it? I bet you don't get anything like this in Ireland." The woman's accent is thick, rough and absolutely bloody gorgeous, in Dexter's most humble opinion.

"That we don't, though, honestly, we don't really get women like you over there either, so it sort of balances itself out, doesn't it?" He laughs ruefully, and she sighs.

"Will you ever grow up, Vex?"

"Not planning to."

The Grand Mage of the Thai Sanctuary shakes her head, feigning exasperation. "If everyone in Ireland is like you, remind me never to travel there."

"I'm one of a kind."

"Thank the Gods for that."

* * *

**A/N: Random woman is random.**

**It only just fully clicked that Charivari's name is Charivari as in the Rough Music...**

**~Mademise Morte, October 26  
**


	300. Chapter 300

Her face is pale, and her eyes are serene. She is walking slowly, majestically, into the sea. It is as cold as anything she has ever felt, but she cannot bring herself to feel it. She is set completely in her actions, in her movement.

"Don't do it." The speaker is a female with wide eyes and a worried twist to her mouth.

Melancholia is silent. She continues walking.

"Really, I mean it. Don't."

Still walking.

"I know you want justification for me just up and telling you not to commit suicide, but it's not all that random. Melancholia, I am absolutely infatuated with you. I think you're the most beautiful, intelligent and strong-minded woman I have ever known, and even though that means that I doubt that you'll just stop for me, I admire you for that. Also, that's the only reason why I'm saying this now – because it won't matter in a moment."

Melancholia turns, pale face flushed red and serene eyes with tears flooded, and Clarabelle nearly weeps with joy.

* * *

**A/N: Day 300 of the year! And it's Melancholia/Clarabelle! Yay!**

**~Mademise Morte, October 27  
**


	301. Chapter 301

"Why are you smiling like that, darling Clarabelle?"

"Because you have left the window open, and I can see the sun and the sky, and it is so, so beautiful, and I can smell the earth and hear the wind, and life is so much sweeter than I thought it would ever be again?"

"Is that so?"

"No, Nye, it is because you have left the window open, and I can see Skulduggery and Valkyrie coming to my rescue, valiantly and bravely."

While the Nye rushes off to check on this, Clarabelle hops out of the window and makes good her escape.

* * *

**A/N: So, honestly, if I told you I was publishing a book, would you buy it, and how much for?**

**~Mademise Morte, October 28  
**


	302. Chapter 302

"Hello, Solomon."

"You're bothering with words this time, Skulduggery?" The necromancer's eyes and tone are confrontational, his stance guarded. The skeleton sighs.

"Yes, Solomon, I am."

"That's a nice change from constant violence, then." His expression has a certain twisted edge of malice to it that is definitely not without its more annoying yet slightly endearing qualities.

Skulduggery twitches slightly, trying to convince himself that punching the smirk off Solomon's face would not be the best course of action.

* * *

**A/N: Kehe :3**

**~Mademise Morte, October 29  
**


	303. Chapter 303

"Don't you ever get tired of seeing the same boring old places every day of your life?" The young man's smile is honest, and there's a hint of true curiosity to it.

"Not really. They are beautiful places, and I doubt I could ever find them boring. They are truly fascinating, if you stare at them long enough."

"And I take it that you have been staring at them for a very, very long time?"

Morwenna looks at him with large eyes. "Yes."

Eachan sighs. "Tell me if you ever change your mind, then."

She nods. "I doubt I will, but I shall keep that in mind."

Three years later, when they meet again, he stops himself from telling her that he told her so, contenting himself with a slightly smug smirk.

* * *

**A/N: Something that probably never happened...**

**~Mademise Morte, October 30  
**


	304. Chapter 304

"If I spoke for a hundred years, exhausted the limits of every language ever spoken, if I waxed eloquent to the point where eloquence itself ceased to hold meaning of any kind, I don't think I could ever quite encapsulate just how much I hate you." His eyes are as honest as they are filled with revolt.

"Thank you. That really means a lot." Eyes are rolled irritably, and a swathe of scalpels washed clean.

"And at the same time I can't imagine life without your twisted existence just making this world a more horrible place."

"This is taking a decided turn for the worse," mutters the Nye as it stows away its razorblades.

"I… I think I love you."

"Oh, for God's sake," says the Nye as it reaches for its razorblades once more as Ghastly walks towards it with outstretched arms and his eyes closed.

* * *

**A/N: To make me feel less jittery about the fact that NaNo is tomorrow, I just wrote my Newtonmas wishlist, even though it's nowhere close to Newtonmas. Or, as the case may be, Christmas.**

**~Mademise Morte, October 31  
**


	305. Chapter 305

"What was your favorite part of being a writer, Gordon?" Alison's chin is rested upon her hand, and her expression is sweetly inquisitive.

"You may refer to me as _Uncle _Gordon, dear, sweet Alice."

"I refuse. What was your favorite part of being a writer, _Gordon_?" There is a wicked sort of mischief to her eyes as she repeats her question.

"I still am one, you know. I suppose that it's probably knowing that out there in the world, there are people whose lives have been changed infinitely for the better simply because of me. It's quite an empowering feeling."

"And your least favorite part?"

"Spending my precious life cooped up in a study writing."

"You don't enjoy it?"

"Of course I do, but I sometimes wonder what other beautiful ways I could be improving the world, and that tends to make me feel quite rather sad."

"You're a ghost. You have all the time in the world. Why aren't you trying them out?"

"Firstly, Ali—"

"_Alison_."

"Alison, I am not a ghost. I am an echo. There is a difference."

"Okay."

"Secondly, I enjoy writing far too much."

"But of course."

* * *

**A/N: You know that feeling you get when you've got chocolate in front of you, but you can't possibly eat it because you've just had the first ice-cream you've eaten in _ages_, and you couldn't stand to eat anything else sweet? Yeah.**

**Also, forgot to mention this, yesterday's snippet is dedicated to Miss Yvette Quick, who suggested it.**

**~Mademise Morte, November 1  
**


	306. Chapter 306

"The stars shine brighter in your presence, Darquesse, and I mean that quite literally." Though his expression is flippant, he really is serious. There is something about her that makes the night seem that much darker, and the stars that much brighter by comparison.

She raises and eyebrow, pausing in the carnage to stare at him. Finally, she shakes her head and seems to snap out of it, resuming at once the mindless slaughter of various meaningless humans.

"Thank you, Tenny," she says as she decapitates a blonde girl. There is a bitter humor to her tone. "I really appreciate that."

* * *

__**A/N: I seriously need to reread Death Bringer. I feel like I've forgotten everything about it...  
**

**~Mademise Morte, November 2**


	307. Chapter 307

"Welcome home, my dear." The man with pale the pale complexion is sitting by the fireplace, which does not at the moment happen to contain a fire.

"Thank you. I am glad to be home." The vampire smiles softly. He is dead, as he has been since the tender, tender age of nineteen, only maybe even a little deader, because now he's a ghost – un-undead.

"And how was your day? Did you manage to seduce once more my Queen of Darkness?"

"Alas, no, Anathem. Her absence from our lives, it seems, will be prolonged."

"A pity, and yet I cannot seem to care about it very much. I suppose I shall be content with you, Caelan, for the meantime."

"And I with you."

* * *

**A/N: The two creepy ghosts deserve each other.**

**~Mademise Morte, November 3  
**


	308. Chapter 308

The church at night is peaceful. The air is filled with the quiet drone of chanting worshippers, and the rustle of paper. China Sorrows is walking slowly, looking around with narrowed eyes.

"Miss Sorrows! You have graced us with your presence, for once!"

"Shut up, you fawning little—"

"Fish." Clarabelle has wandered in, smile vacant. "He's quite a fish, isn't he?"

China sighs. "I'm sure he is, Clarabelle. Why are you here?"

"I was told that they have a well-organized worship system here, and I wanted to investigate. Yourself?"

"Looking for books." China sighs. "Did you find any kind of organization?"

"Much."

"Find any actual belief, then?"

"Of course not."

"Such a pity. What will you do, then?"

"Stay here. It seems to attract some rather lovely women."

"You can just follow me, then."

"Thanks."

* * *

**A/N: Me-h.**

**~Mademise Morte, November 4  
**


	309. Chapter 309

**Is there even a point in noting DB spoilers any more? I feel like I've neglected that recently in any case...**

* * *

Eliza Scorn is sitting cross-legged at the windowsill. Her eyes are closed and she is humming on a note. She is not sure what this note is, but it does not diminish her enthusiasm or her volume one bit.

China Sorrows is rolling her eyes. "Really, Eliza, it wouldn't hurt you all that much to get a bit of sun," she says, voice coaxing and as patient as she is not.

"Oho?" Eliza frowns, and then returns to her humming.

"Really. And horses aren't really that frightening, you know."

"Oho?" Eliza has not stopped frowning.

"Really. And I'll love you forever if you accompany me for the next few weeks." She makes her voice sound as sweet as she can.

"Really? What are we waiting for?" Eliza springs out of her seat, grinning madly.

* * *

**A/N: So yeah. Past tense China/Eliza that involves equestrianism. :D**

**~Mademise Morte, November 5  
**


	310. Chapter 310

"Are you going to come out riding with me tonight, dear?"

"I can't, China. Sorry."

"Whyever not? Are you afraid of the horses?"

"Not really."

"Because, you know, falling is a perfectly natural part of the learning process. I promise I won't laugh."

"I know you won't, China. It isn't that."

"Do you have other plans, then?" The already gorgeous, soulful eyes are widened artfully.

"No, China. Have I ever mentioned that I'm allergic to horses?"

Blink, blink. "I thought you were joking."

"Trust me, I wasn't."

* * *

**A/N: When I'm tired, all my plot ideas involve horses. God knows why...**

**~Mademise Morte, November 6  
**


	311. Chapter 311

"Hello, Valkyrie."

"Uh. Hello. If you don't mind me asking, who exactly are you? You really must forgive me, I haven't had my coffee yet, and it's not even past noon…" She smiles as winningly as she can manage while her eyes valiantly attempt to stay open and her fingers catch and scrabble at the countertop, trying to help her regain some sense of balance.

"It's me, Val. Fletcher."

"What?" She squints blearily. "Look, I know I'm hungover, but I'm not _that_ hungover. You can't be Fletcher. Your hair is different."

"Hair can be cut, you know," he says, smiling at her.

"Yeah, but not yours. You were really proud of it. You loved your hair more than you ever loved me."

"That's not true."

"Yeah, but the thing is, it actually is. Everyone I ever fell for was like that. Self-centered. You, Skulduggery, Caelan, even China…" She begins to laugh, a bitter, self-deprecating little laugh, and now it is her own flesh that her nails are burrowing into, and she can't help to laugh even louder, more desperately.

"Valkyrie, I cut my hair for you. A gesture, to prove that I'll be willing to win you back, with whatever means are necessary. It's a stupid, chivalrous gesture, especially since I know you blame yourself…"

"You're right, I do." She forces herself to stop laughing, and nearly ends up stopping breathing. "Thank you for the gesture. Please go away now. I can't cope with any more of this shit."With a last regretful backwards glance, he leaves behind the girl who wants him to stay more than anything.

* * *

**A/N: I suppose I'll get better at writing het if I practice a lot...**

**~Mademise Morte, November 7  
**


	312. Chapter 312

Her eyes gleam in the moonlight, and Caelan smiles at the way she is totally distracted. She will be an easy catch, he thinks with a certain amount of satisfaction. Bloodless, of course, but so, so easy.

"Clair," he says, strolling out of the shadows, imagining that they cling to him as he walks.

"Melancholia. My name is Melancholia." She frowns at him.

"Okay. Melancholia."

"Yes?"

"I wanted to ask you if you would join me in the quest to make the world a better place."

"Why would I want to?"

"Because us meeting tonight is fate."

"No, it's you being creepy. Go away."

* * *

**A/N: Meh...  
**

**~Mademise Morte, November 8  
**


	313. Chapter 313

"_Another_ meeting? Haven't we already had three today?"

"All part and parcel of being part of the Sanctuary, Ghastly. I'm sure you'll get used to it in time."

"But they're so _horrible_."

"Well, I'm sorry, but you're an Elder, and with that comes with the responsibility of not being squeamish."

"I'm sorry, but even those of the strongest resolve would find it painful listening to sycophantic serviles attempting debate."

"I actually kind of find it rather amusing?"

"It makes my ears bleed and my soul die a cold, lonely death."

"An unfortunate side effect, tis true."

"So may I be excused from this one?"

"Absolutely not."

"Fine…"

* * *

**A/N: As amusing and painful as it is to watch Singaporeans trying to speak French, it is even more amusing and even more painful to watch Singaporeans trying to debate in French. Or any language, really.**

**~Mademise Morte, November 9  
**


	314. Chapter 314

"So, do we have any plans at all for closing the rip in the dimensional walls and returning the fangirls to the dirty Hell from which they have come? Yes? No? Maybe?" Erskine looks around the table hopefully, and then sighs at the lack of positive response.

"I have a thought for closing it up, but not for returning the children." Madam Mist smiles indulgently from behind her veils.

"Excellent," says the Nye, clapping long fingered hands together. "Will you give them to me?"

"_NO_," say Ghastly and Erskine in unison. The Nye shrugs.

"It was worth a try."

* * *

**A/N: Kyahaha =3**

**~Mademise Morte, November 10  
**


	315. Chapter 315

"Will you please cease humming? It is starting to become rather annoying."

"I am not humming."

He looks aghast. "Who is, then?"

"I don't know. If it helps, you're not just hallucinating. I hear it too. It's a pure tone, right? Is there a tuning fork in here?"

"I don't see why there would be a tuning fork in the Sanctuary conference room, even if it does happen to be Japan. Are tuning forks Zen?"

"Not particularly, I don't think."

"Are the windows vibrating or something, then?"

"I don't think so. Should we ask someone?"

"Maybe we'll seem ignorant and uncultured. We probably shouldn't."

The Japanese Administrator, who does actually in fact speak English quite rather well, thank you very much, laughs. "It's the crickets."

Valkyrie sighs, placing her palm over her forehead. "Definitely ignorant and uncultured, then."

* * *

**A/N: Don't judge me solely based on the fact that I actually did run around my room looking for a tuning fork once...**

**Was pretty meh about the whole 11-11-11 thing, but the realization that it's the 315th day of the year was pretty damn amazing.**

**~Mademise Morte, November 11  
**


	316. Chapter 316

The sweet-eyed girl is staring at the stars. "Tomorrow," she says, sighing, "They are going to fix reality, and I will be stuck here forever."

"Can you not go back to your own world?" Tanith's expression is thoughtful. Her hands are wrapped around her knees, and she is staring at the pretty girl.

There is a pause, meaningful and slow.

"Hell no. I'd rather be stuck here than there."

Tanith laughs. "Of course you would."

"Besides, you're here?"

"Oh, am I?" Tanith giggles again. "Well then."

"Indeed." The sweet-eyed girl casts a flirtatious look in Tanith's direction.

* * *

**A/N: Kehe :3**

**~Mademise Morte, November 12  
**


	317. Chapter 317

They are outside the door of Tanith's apartment. Despite the chill set to the air, they are sweating, and breathing quite rather heavily. They look disheveled in the extreme, and at the moment, Tanith is resisting the urge to just break her damn door-lock. The aggravating thing is absolutely refusing to give way no matter how much magic she pours into it, which would be heartening if she were considering how much protection it offered against thieves, but not so much when she wants to get into her home in a hurry.

"Sorry, need to get my keys," she pants, breaking away from the girl with the caramel-sweet eyes. The girl frowns slightly, seems to attempt to form a sentence, and gives up. She reaches into Tanith's cleavage while Tanith attempts to search pockets she does not possess, and the sweet eyes glimmer with amusement as she holds up the house-key.

"Here you are," she manages to say with a slight laugh. Tanith curses brightly and with much humor as she finally opens the door and they tumble into the house.

* * *

**A/N: I'm enjoying the Tanith/fangirl storyline quite a bit. I hope I don't get so attached to it I don't manage to end it by the time the year's up, though...**

**~Mademise Morte, November 13  
**


	318. Chapter 318

Atonal and nearly formless, the shriek of the portal closing, of a door to another universe entirely being slammed shut, runs through the world, wrenching a gaping hole in the heart of one Treiza Morte, the much beruffled and mussed girl who is lying by the side of Tanith Low, sweet eyes melancholy.

"Any regrets?" Tanith's voice is soft. The morning has barely broken, and her lover is sad already. This is not a good state of affairs. It sets her thinking, and we all know what happens then.

"I should have paid more attention in physics class." Treiza manages to shrug, purple eyes gleaming. "That's pretty much it, really."

"Why physics?"

"Because I was always asleep in that class. I never really knew what happened. I completely missed out on a part of my life that could have been amazing. I might have become a physicist if I had actually been attentive."

Tanith considers this. "Did you enjoy maths?"

"Hells, no."

"Then you probably wouldn't have become a physicist. Any more regrets?"

"None. Absolutely none." She smiles.

* * *

**A/N: Once, a long, long time ago, Treiza Morte was an imaginary cousin of fanfiction-me. Or maybe it was a sister. I can't remember. Anyway, she's not, in this continuity. Though, honestly, all Chinese people are vaguely related in some way, and I mean that in the most lovingly racist way possible. Hey, at least I didn't call us chinks.**

**Sorry. Not even going to pretend today hasn't been a bit crazy. Woke up to my mother sitting in the living room writing emo poetry, received a phone call from my father who had just discovered a marvelous new piece of technology (instant messaging, that is), ate lunch while my grandmother wept over her noodles and ended the day off fabulously with an abstract modern music concert which my sister received with the words "it's not real music because it's all computers".**

**I love my family, but sometimes I question our sanity...**

**~Mademise Morte, November 14  
**


	319. Chapter 319

"D'you like waffles, Tanith?" Treiza's hair is swept back into a bun, and she is smiling at Tanith while she keeps firm hold of the plate.

"Very much so, though if you can get them done in about two minutes that would be optimal." Tanith glances up at the kitchen clock rather nervously.

"Do you have an urgent meeting or something?" Treiza frowns, trying to dredge up recollection.

"Just got a call from the Sanctuary. They want us to be part of the meeting that decides what's going to happen to all the fangirls who made the crossing and decided to stay."

Treiza bites her lip as she cuts the waffles into quarters and retrieves the bottle of maple syrup. "Tanith Low," she says, "I love you very dearly, and I would like nothing better than to spend the rest of my life with you. With this in mind, can I trust you to keep me safe from the Nye?"

"Of course," says Tanith, accepting the food and grabbing a fork from a drawer. "Of course."

* * *

**A/N: So, this is the point where I either break this off into a story of its own or I just continue trying to tell it through Poppling snippets. Depends on how many crack pairings I can think up in between now and the end of the year.**

**~Mademise Morte, November 15  
**


	320. Chapter 320

Insensitive to the world around her, Tanith weeps.

She is curled up, trying to make herself as small as she can, a small, childish, unconscious edge to her mind thinking that if she can make herself just a bit smaller, just that much smaller, she might disappear altogether. She is crying violently, because she thinks that if she loses enough of herself, she'll stop being herself.

She is trying to cease existence because she feels completely alone in a horrible, horrible world. Everyone she ever trusted has left her, or mostly she has left them, in one stupid, blinding, Remnant-driven moment, in which she alienated herself from everything she ever cared for. She is alone now. Even the Remnant has left her.

"Don't be so melancholy, dear." The voice is wickedly sharp, cruelly cutting, and yet it is the most comforting she has ever heard. She looks up, eyes wide, and then she bows in subservience to the great and might Darquesse.

* * *

**A/N: My arm hurts.**

**That is all.**

**~Mademise Morte, November 16  
**


	321. Chapter 321

"Your kind has always confused me, to a degree." The high-pitched voice is muted, thoughtful, and its owner is carefully, conscientiously cleaning off a shelf that might or might not previously have held half a dozen disembodied corpses in its clutch.

"Those infused with the blood of the Undying?" Clarabelle absently kicks her legs out. The chair she has been directed to is too high for her.

"Not really." The Nye pauses to consider this. "Though that's also quite confusing. You'll have to tell me how that came about, sometime."

"Okay. So what did you originally mean, then?"

"Women. I've never understood you." The Nye grins a lopsided grin that owes much of its asymmetry to a little line of stitches across one corner of its mouth.

* * *

**A/N: I should have been planting all these seeds for interesting plot threads at the beginning of the year, it's kind of late now...**

**~Mademise Morte, November 17  
**


	322. Chapter 322

"And what brings you here, Springheel? Has all your adventuring finally drawn to a close? Have you run out of people to slaughter, of children so steal? Has life finally gotten so boring for you that, even now that you've escaped your prison, you must resort to disturbing the likes of me for your amusement?"

"To be honest, Madame, I just wanted to see your face again. That was all." He laughs, and it's a keening, desperate kind of laugh.

"Well, I can certainly say that I didn't. You look absolutely dreadful."

"Pining does that to a person."

"So does not washing."

* * *

**A/N: China/Jack :D**

**Now I have braces on both my upper and my lower teeth. Tis painful. T~T**

**~Mademise Morte, November 18  
**


	323. Chapter 323

When it all began, she wasn't sure about all this, this secrecy. She didn't think that the ability to fade into the background, at any time, in any place, was necessarily something to be _valued_. She didn't want it, in short.

But then, something changed, and she began to appreciate it. It took very little, in fact, for Sofia Toil to begin to love being unnoticeable, and that was meeting Philomena Random.

It wasn't like Philomena was the same as her, because she wasn't. She was a gorgeous, outgoing, strong woman, though a little bizarre at times, and there was nothing about her that would ever consent to becoming a part of the furniture. She was a little cruel, at times, a touch manipulative, but absolutely lovable all the same. The thing that first marked her out as different to Sofia was the fact that she saw her. Philomena actually noticed her, in that crowded shop, actually said hello, because she saw beyond the shy little girl into the mage-born sorcerer soul.

The years dragged on, and both women changed in innumerable ways. The one thing that never changed, though, was the strength of Sofia's emotion for Philomena.

* * *

**A/N: Perhaps a slightly distorted view of dear Philomena, but perhaps not. I've never had much of a grasp on her character.**

**~Mademise Morte, November 19  
**


	324. Chapter 324

She wakes up and she smells burning wood.

Her eyes are lidded still, and through them she can see red-tinted light. Her fingers are clenched into fists and clenched to her heart, around which she is curled, as small as she can make herself be. She can hear her heartbeat, and she can hear footsteps, and she can hear laughter.

She peels open her eyes, and she can feel them sting in the smoke.

She smells rotting meat, and it's difficult not to gag. Heat presses on her, and she squirms uncomfortably. She is in a state of absolute misery as she forces herself to stand.

"What have you done?" Her voice is wondering, ponderous, though it cracks and breaks over her words.

"I am gaining my revenge." Darquesse graces Melancholia St Clair with her sweetest smile.

* * *

**A/N: I think this might be an AU. I'm not sure. Is Melancholia still alive? If she isn't, this is an AU. Possibly a realm-of-the-dead one, actually.**

**~Mademise Morte, November 20  
**


	325. Chapter 325

He is sitting cross-legged on the rooftop, chin perched in hand, eyes pensive and heart aching.

"We danced here." The words are said without room for doubt, without argument. "It was after her first course of radiation therapy. She was crying, and I wanted to take her away from everything. I don't know how we ended up on your roof. I guess I've always thought that it's always felt like home or something."

Ghastly watches with impassive eyes, not passing comment.

"It was raining. It was really, really cold. I guess that was to be expected. It's Ireland, after all. I was kind of expecting her to fall even sicker after that, but she didn't. She was just that strong, you know?"

Silence.

"I guess I just never expected for everything to feel so normal. I thought that it should be like the world was ending. I suppose that's what passes for normal around here, though." He laughs bitterly. "I should have anticipated that."

"You're not alone, you know." There is sympathy in the man's eyes. Compassion. "Just because she's gone doesn't mean you have to be as well."

"I know." Fletcher sighs. "Thank you for listening to my rambling."

"Anything for you," Ghastly answers quite seriously, and the blonde boy with the porcupine hair chokes.

* * *

**A/N: Somehow, I missed writing slightly angsty pieces.**

**~Mademise Morte, November 21  
**


	326. Chapter 326

**DB spoilerish?**

* * *

"Green really suits you."

"Why, thank you, China. You look nice too. Though I do so wish that you wouldn't keep insisting on wearing jade. It looks horrible with your eyes, it really does."

"And you look like a leprechaun when you wear Huntress, Eliza. You're welcome." China smiles warmly, eyes flooded with affection, and after a moment, Eliza cannot help but to giggle and grin back.

"You really do look nice, though. Regardless of the jade, though that is honestly quite horrible." Eliza laughs.

"And you make a gorgeous, gorgeous leprechaun, Eliza." China casts her best friend a long, loving look, lips still twisted with amusement.

* * *

**A/N: Kehe :3**

**~Mademise Morte, November 22  
**


	327. Chapter 327

**DB spoilery.**

* * *

The sun spills over her softly, making her glow. She looks truly lovely thus adorned, the warm light curling over her shoulders and draping itself delicately across her chest. She is, for a fleeting moment, like a personification of some goddess, like Amaterasu herself.

"When was the last time I sung your praises, letting nothing but adoration of you take control of my all?" Her eyes are affectionate, her smile lazy. She is lying in bed, chin resting on the back of one hand. She is completely guarded from the solar light, but something of it glows back in her eyes. She is as the moon, Eliza thinks as she steps forward, breaking the illusion to one degree and strengthening it in another.

"Far too long ago," she purrs as China raises herself up with one quick, sinuous movement and applies herself with languid, graceful enthusiasm to the lips of her lover.

* * *

**A/N: This is for the fabulous Reia Kellyn, because she gave me an excuse to write slightly perverted China/Eliza. Or Eliza/China, as the case may be.**

**~Mademise Morte, November 23  
**


	328. Chapter 328

"I admire you." His eyes are nervous as he speaks the words. They tumble out in a rush, chasing each other in their hurry to make good their escape. "I think you are the cruelest, most horrific beast ever to taint the name of medicine, but I admire you deeply.

"How sweet of you. Thank you for saying so. I think you're very nice too, for what it's worth." The Nye smiles graciously from behind its surgical mask as it dissects the corpse of a big-hipped, yellow-haired woman.

Kenspeckle nods abruptly and runs away, as frantic as his words had been. Nye watches him go, eyes longing.

* * *

**A/N: ... :D**

**~Mademise Morte, November 24  
**


	329. Chapter 329

Contained in her coolly blue eyes, there are dreams. If you look deep into them, you will see every broken hope, every bleeding regret that she has ever held. You can find everything of her person held there, in her eyes, because she is just begging to be understood. She hides it well enough, but she's never been able to control her eyes.

Her smiles, sardonic and bright, tell you to keep away, and usually you obey, but sometimes, you have to cross over the border, or you'll just become another regret in those pretty, pretty eyes.

"I love you, Clarabelle, no matter what obstacles there are, and I will always love you."

The eyes now are filled with tears, and no less beautiful for it. "Thank you, Valkyrie," she says, and the emotion has bled to cover her entire visage, for there is too much to be merely held in her eyes.

* * *

**A/N: I still love this ship.**

**~Mademise Morte, November 25  
**


	330. Chapter 330

It is the fourth time this morning that a chance to drink coffee has been cruelly wrested from Tanith Low, and she is definitely not happy about this. She wants her bloody coffee, godsdammit.

"Ghastly, tell me do, why the Hell do you only have tea? Why, in fact, does your kitchen contain absolutely nothing apart from bags of brick-dust black tea? I mean, I'd understand if it was different blends or something, because I can't pretend that my kitchen is basically a coffee storage room, but why all this tea?"

"I _like _tea, Tanith. I thought you knew that."

"Yes, but why do you need so much of the same brand, same blend, whatever?" She gives him a look, and then she sighs when he doesn't answer. "Never mind. I'm going to get coffee. Good _bye_."

Ghastly blinks blurrily at his lover who is walking out of the room, still dressed only in her underwear. He then sighs and then burrows his way back into his covers.

* * *

**A/N: Given that it's only about six, you really do have to wonder about the other three times.**

**~Mademise Morte, November 26  
**


	331. Chapter 331

The room is lit by scented candles, and filled with the scent of smoke and incense. The sticks of sandalwood are lit, but burn quietly, casting little light, and so it is the dancing candle flames that give color and vibrance to Sharon's skin.

There is a knock at the door, and the woman who is lying on the floor in the _savasana_ sighs irritably before wrenching herself up and stumbling to the door.

"You're China Sorrows," she says as she opens the portal, "And you are not welcome here. Goodbye."

"I haven't even said hello yet," says the blue-eyed woman mildly.

"I'm a psychic. You're going to break my heart. Go away." Sharon's eyes are agitated, though her hands are steady as she lights a new stick of incense.

"I certainly wasn't planning to hurt you. Will you listen to me, Sharon? I need you to do that much."

"What could I ever give to you? You could get anyone in the world to do your bidding just by smiling at them."

"But I want _you_."

"Fine." Sharon puts down the incense and nudges the wards around her house down just long enough for the beautiful woman to enter her home.

* * *

**A/N: I need sleep. Damn NaNo.**

**~Mademise Morte, November 27  
**


	332. Chapter 332

**DB spoilery ahead.**

* * *

"Honestly, Davina, what is it that keeps you around me so?"

"Well, you know I'm not pretty. Obviously, since you've seen me in bed. So I'm fully aware of how horrible to look at I am, but I really appreciate those who aren't, and so I lurk in the shadows that you cast and pretend to bask in the same sun that you do. I should be asking you the same – what can I offer you, after all?"

"Praise, for one thing, and I actually do envy you your personality. You look like Hell, perhaps, but you don't hide it and you don't let that stop you from dominating everyone, from demanding appreciation and adoration. And what looks you do have, you got them without magic. That means a lot."

"How sweet of you, Eliza. Thank you."

"And, of course, I am illogically in love with you."

"And I with you, dearest."

* * *

**A/N: Either an AU pairing or a prequel-y thing.**

**Anyone else panicking about the fact that the year's almost over?  
**

**~Mademise Morte, November 28  
**


	333. Chapter 333

_Wrapped around with the pure power of the elements and standing mistress over the force of death itself, Darquesse is beautiful._

She lifts her skirts delicately as she walks over the corpses, frowning. Today was a bad day to wear green.

"_Do you fear me, Clarabelle?"_

"No, Stephanie. I think you're more scared than I am, honestly."

_"Impertinent girl."_

She doesn't deny it.

"_Do you think I am absolute, Clarabelle?"  
_

"No, Valkyrie, I think that you are weak."

_"Do you think I am cruel, Clarabelle?"  
_

"No, Darquesse. I think you are kind."

_Darquesse stares at her, dark eyes uncomprehending. "Do you love me, Clarabelle?"  
_

"Always."

* * *

**A/N: A weak attempt at being stylistic. I'll probably return and change it when I don't have a headache...**

**~Mademise Morte, November 29  
**


	334. Chapter 334

The anger bubbles inside her, just under her skin and far away enough from her eyes for it to glint through. She is furious, for all that she is smiling cordially, as syrupy sweet as a poisoned candy and probably a great deal more dangerous.

"What's wrong?" His gaze is darting about. He is worried, and it shows through quite transparently.

"Essentially," she says, her voice as rich and low as ever, though inwardly she is shrieking fury, "You are."

"Uh…" he says, seemingly casting about for a reason why and not finding it. "Why?"

"Because, Solomon Wreath, shadow-walking is not something that you use to get into women's bedrooms when said women are preparing to sleep." She allows a little bit of the rage to glimmer into her expression as she places her hairbrush down deliberately, and he pales.

"Sorry about that," he mutters, and he is gone.

* * *

**A/N: And, just like that, November is gone. Ugh.**

**(Anyway, Wreath/China! =3)  
**

**~Mademise Morte, November 30  
**


	335. Chapter 335

She wakes up, and she smells the rain in the air. She knows by her ears that it's not raining now, and she knows by the feeling against her skin that it's not going to rain anytime soon, and so by process of elimination she supposes that it must have stopped raining a while ago.

"You're awake. Fabulous." Sharon's smile is calm, cheery.

"I rather am. Time?"

"It's half past eight, I believe, or thereabouts."

"When did it stop raining?"

"Half an hour ago. How was your sleep?"

"Peaceful. Today should be a good day for a picnic, don't you think?" Clarabelle elbows her way into a seated position and grins at her lover.

"Absolutely. Lovely, crisp air."

"Let's have one, then."

"Certainly." Sharon picks up the picnic basket at her side and pauses. "Would you like to get dressed first?"

"Sure." Clarabelle laughs her high, pealing laugh, and Sharon cannot help but to giggle as well.

* * *

**A/N: Up until about a moment ago, I was convinced it was November the thirty-first... -.-"**

**~Mademise Morte, December 1  
**


	336. Chapter 336

The food is steaming, and the scent floods the room. Valkyrie blinks as she stares at it. It looks completely foreign to her, but then, she supposes it should be. She sighs inwardly.

"Is there something wrong with your food?" asks Clarabelle curiously. "You are looking at it with quite some disgust."

Valkyrie forces herself to smile. "I have never actually eaten fried grasshoppers before, Clarabelle. So forgive me my apprehensions."

Clarabelle shrugs. "Trust me, they're much better fried."

Blink. Blink. Blink. "You know what, Clarabelle? I'm not really that hungry anymore."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. I am absolutely certain."

* * *

**A/N: Mehh.**

**~Mademise Morte, December 2  
**


	337. Chapter 337

Disheveled. It was not a word that Valkyrie had ever thought could ever apply to China Sorrows, but it does.

The day is warm, as far as days go, and sunny. China is dismounting from the blue roan, and her hair has come loose from its careful coif, her cheeks are bright with energy and her eyes are dancing. She is glorious in the sun, though nothing near as polished as she would usually be. Here, there is life to her. Here, she is vibrant.

"You're gorgeous," Valkyrie tells the older woman abruptly, bluntly.

"Why, thank you, Valkyrie. You're rather pretty as well."

"Hush," Valkyrie says as she embraces the most beautiful woman in the world.

* * *

**A/N: Even after Death Bringer, even after hating these two characters, I love this pairing.**

**~Mademise Morte, December 3  
**


	338. Chapter 338

"You look troubled. Are you about to tell me that a storm is pending?" Valkyrie forces herself to grin bravely at Cassandra, whose eyes are cast skywards.

"Of course not, lovely, don't be silly. Why would I say something like that?"

"That's what people in stories always say when bad things are going to happen, so I thought you might."

"Dear Valkyrie, haven't you noticed? It's been storming all your life." Cassandra starts to laugh, and it is unnervingly mirthful. "All my life, really. There are things happening, yes, but they've been building over centuries. A small thing like this will mean nothing to the tempest that's here."

* * *

**A/N: Drawn from the fact that it's raining quite a bit right now...**

**~Mademise Morte, December 4  
**


	339. Chapter 339

"Oh, do get up, Fletcher," says Valkyrie irritably, casting the blond boy a disdainful look. He has just fallen off his chair, and he is gibbering. When he does not immediately snap to and obey, Valkyrie turns to Clarabelle, smiling coldly.

"What did you do to him, dear?" Her voice is as polite as she can make it, which is not that much.

"Not a lot," says Clarabelle, humming noncommittally and averting her gaze.

"Tell me or I rip you apart."

"That might be fun. I told him some of the rumors that were going around about Kenspeckle and Ghastly before Kenspeckle died, actually. I think he was disturbed by it or something."

"Charming."

* * *

**A/N: Kehe :3**

**~Mademise Morte, December 5  
**


	340. Chapter 340

She wears a violet in her hair, and she is gazing rather vacantly out into the middle distance. The smile of her lover is indulgent, and the silence is appreciated, in its own odd kind of way.

They do not need words to know that though their bodies are resting here, their minds are far off, and in the same place, need no verbal communication to explain that they are remembering so vividly that one moment in time when everything changed. They just sit here, silent and still.

They are lost in their recollection of the day that Darquesse was slain.

* * *

**A/N: Future-y fic, since I've spent the day writing letters to older versions of myself in preparation for my anniversary of birth... Silly, I know. XD**

**~Mademise Morte, December 6  
**


	341. Chapter 341

"You look tired."

"I am, in fact, asleep. So yes, I am sure I look tired." Clarabelle smiles softly, eyes closed as she delicately slices a ginger root into miniscule pieces.

Kenspeckle stares at her a moment as he leaves the room, and then he laughs as he walks away, leaving Clarabelle with her eyes closed and her new supervisor to their work. He had been having doubts about leaving her behind, but now, he thinks she'll be just fine.

* * *

**A/N: Me-h.**

**~Mademise Morte, December 7  
**


	342. Chapter 342

Clarabelle's eyes are impassive as she watches Valkyrie struggle in through the rain, soaking wet in several manners and looking absolutely downtrodden. She feels a twinge of pity, maybe, but not that much. Valkyrie brought it on herself.

"Go ahead." Valkyrie is in the doorway now, shaking and swaying slightly because she can't support herself properly. "Shout all you want. Tell me what a horrible person I am. Say it."

Clarabelle blinks at her, keeping her silence.

"Tell me you hate me. Tell me to leave you to your peace. Go ahead. I won't blame you."

"I'm sorry," says Clarabelle, voice barely breaking a whisper. "But I cannot."

Valkyrie looks at her emptily, and then she collapses into tears.

* * *

**A/N: I have finished all my important academic commitments for the year. Finally. Feel strangely liberated as a result...**

**~Mademise Morte, December 8  
**


	343. Chapter 343

"I presumed that you would already be aware." His grin is insolent, mocking, and causes a great deal of annoyance in the one who is being addressed.

"You presumed too much." The grim, pale visage seems to darken with fury, though of course the light changes not at all. "Once again, Solomon Wreath, you dare to overstep your boundaries and you cause havoc beyond even your control."

The arrogant smile not slipping, the Necromancer bows. "I live to cause you worry, dear Elder of mine."

"I'm not that old, you know." The expression shifts to one of vague amusement.

"I know, but it is so much more amusing to pretend I don't." Solomon Wreath's cheer proves infectious, and Ghastly Bespoke laughs.

* * *

**A/N: My birthday's tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be able to write better as a result of being a year older, though I seriously doubt it. Though it might happen solely on the basis that I might be allowed to sleep in.**

**~Mademise Morte, December 9  
**


	344. Chapter 344

She is not exactly skipping, and not quite walking. She is bouncing, but with a great sense of coherence and purpose. She is also grinning like a maniac, but that has little bearing on her gait, or so one would assume. Having said this, they might both be symptomatic of her current state of mind. You never know.

He is crawling through the shadows, slipping through the chinks of the world. It is slow, creeping progress for him, he who can place around the world a girdle in a moment, but he makes it anyway. He is following after her, without a care for custom or formality.

"Fletcher, I know you're there." Clarabelle sighs. "Will you please either come here and apologize for putting me in danger or leave me to suffer on my own? I can't stand to hear you sniveling about like that. Honestly, it's annoying."

Slowly, Fletcher emerges, smiling sheepishly.

"Good boy." She pats him on the head.

* * *

**A/N: I feel bad for turning him into a mini-Caelan, but ah well.**

**~Mademise Morte, December 10  
**


	345. Chapter 345

Dark, soulful eyes fade away into tanned, smooth skin, and the impish grin is almost lost in the seductive slink of movement that is Dexter Vex.

"You're back." The speaker is leaning against a wall, eyes thoughtful. "I didn't think you ever would be."

"I travel the world, and as much as I would like to deny it, Ireland is part of this world." The adventurer laughs deprecatingly. "A miserable part of it, but a part all the same."

"Why do you so hate it, Vex?" A thin smile accompanies a glint of blue eyes.

"I don't like facing you, of course. Not after all this time."

"You haven't forgiven me?" An eyebrow is raised.

"I have, but have you me?"

"Of course." Bliss smiles. "Of course."

Before either of them can fully comprehend what is happening, they are locked in passionate embrace.

* * *

**A/N: Keh :3**

**~Mademise Morte, December 11  
**


	346. Chapter 346

"You look very-"

"Pretty and witty and gay. Yes, I am aware."

"I was going to say 'respectable', but that works too." Valkyrie blinks. "Just out of curiosity, what prompted the 'pretty and witty and gay?"

"Fletcher may or may not have spent the day following me around, singing that line over and over and over. I suspect that it's these damned robes. Stop grinning like that, Valkyrie. Give an old man his dignity." Ghastly casts Valkyrie the evil eye.

"I must say, the robes do look rather like-"

"A dress."

"I was actually going to say something about Ancient Greece and pederasty, but yeah, let's go with that. They look like a dress."

* * *

**A/N: Sometimes I'm just so happy I don't live in America. Random thought.  
**

**~Mademise Morte, December 12  
**


	347. Chapter 347

The two figures silhouetted against the light that glows softly from the Sanctuary building that is now in flames are both tall and thin, long-legged and wearing hats. Their hats are rather nice, as far as haberdashery goes – rather stylized in their construction, of a serviceable yet elegant material.

"Gods, but that was fun." The velvet voice is a murmur in the evening.

"Damn straight it was." The speaker is on the verge of an almost maniacal bout of laughter, staving himself away from it by dint of pressing long-clawed hands against his midriff and not breathing a whole lot. "We should meet up more often, like."

"I am inclined to agree. The world is just so much duller without you." There's a hint of affection in the tone now.

"Same to you." Springheel Jack laughs now, and it takes a while for him to stop long enough to speak. "Lord Vile, you will not believe how slow these few centuries have been without you.

"I am glad to be back too, Jack. So, so glad." The skeleton in Necromancer armor looks deeply into the flames that envelop the building, and he grins fiercely with the lips he doesn't have.

* * *

**A/N: New favorite ship, right here.**

**~Mademise Morte, December 13  
**


	348. Chapter 348

She yawns slowly as she stretches out, bones creaking and muscles aching, and she twists herself backwards, slowly contorting, feeling the pull and the pain. Her eyes slide close for a moment, and then she opens them and glares at the other in the room, catlike.

"Stop staring at me like I'm crazy. I promise you, I'm not."

Solomon raises his hands defensively. "I didn't say anything, and in any case, I was just thinking how lucky I was to be in the same bed as you, the legendary Tanith Low."

The legendary Tanith Low frowns. "So, you're lucky because I'm well-known, not because I'm gorgeous and obviously a superior human being?"

He coughs. "No, not at all, I am just lucky to be with you in _all _respects."

She smiles grimly. "Good. You're learning."

* * *

**A/N: Anyone interesting in RPing with me for a collab fic? You could pick the pairing, _and_ the character you write for, just as long as you're willing to put up with the fact that the other character shall inevitably be written by me, and if you've made it this far into the story, I'm willing to bet you have at least some idea as to what _that_ would entail...**

**~Mademise Morte, December 14  
**


	349. Chapter 349

**AU-ish DB spoilery.**

* * *

Fitting in has never really been of much concern for her. As far as she is concerned, there is a natural order, and a cultural norm, and if she wishes to completely and totally disregard these things, then that is her prerogative, and if people wish to judge her for that, then that is their prerogative, and she does not care.

Now, though, she is nervous as she stares at her reflection, twitching at her clothes and wondering if she's anywhere near the general standard of beauty. She probably isn't, she thinks darkly. She's spent her whole life avoiding it, so why should she have attained it?

Finally, with an irritable sigh, she takes herself away from the now-despised mirror and goes to meet her date. When she sees her lovely one, her face lights up, and if she could see it at that moment, even she could admit that she has reached loveliness. "China!" she yells, starting to run, and she is grinning and she is happy, much like the dark haired girl, who is standing still and smiling shyly.

"Hello, Eliza. It's nice to see you again." Her words are soft, and she is beautiful in her silence.

* * *

**A/N: So, like I said, definitely an AU. Still. I like the pairing. It's cute.**

**~Mademise Morte, December 15  
**


	350. Chapter 350

"Why the compulsive need to preserve everything? Wouldn't it be so much better to let Time ravage as she will?" Her voice is oddly distorted in the half-light, the gleam of her eyes almost menacing by the candleglow.

"Well, it just saves so much trouble like this," he shrugs as he stacks up another row of designs. "If someone else asks for the same thing, I can find it easy."

"But then it will not be unique. It will be soulless, because it is not theirs alone."

"Babe, my customers don't pay nearly enough for _unique_. Soulless suits them just fine."

"I think it's stupid. Would you really want to share something that special with all and sundry?"

Finbar Wrong looks at his wife, and bites his tongue, trying to swallow the words. _I share you, don't I?_

* * *

**A/N: Kehe. :3**

**~Mademise Morte, December 16  
**


	351. Chapter 351

Her life has always been a little disorganized, for all that she spends her time tidying up the existences of other people. Her being has always been slightly messy. It's just part of her, like her blonde hair or her sharp tongue.

Now, however, it is in shambles, and as she scrambles to pick up the pieces, she knows in her heart that it has never been this bad, because if it had been, then she wouldn't be here still.

She is folding the wedding dress up, blinking away tears. It is gaudy, and she hates it. She can't believe she wore it willingly. She can't believe that she thought it was good.

She is limping down to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for her new husband. She can't believe she ever thought she loved him, or if she did, then it wasn't the same man. She would never have fallen in love with a man who believes that women should stay in the kitchen and serve all males, or so she tells herself.

She is staring at the male being before her as it consumes her carefully prepared meal without so much as a word of thanks, and she is wondering why she doesn't kill him now.

Beryl Edgley watches as her life crumbles apart.

* * *

**A/N: I had fun with the tenses in this one.**

**~Mademise Morte, December 17  
**


	352. Chapter 352

With her thin limbs and her too-visible ribs and her loose-tight-skimpy clothing, she looks almost inhuman as she dances, like even more of a skeleton than the distinguished gentleman at the bar wearing the suit and the hat. People assume that he's just another trick of hers when she jumps off the stage after the music has died away and embraces him – they know better.

"For the record, charming little Alice, your sister is going to grind my bones to make her bread if she finds out that I'm the one sneaking you out here. Don't ever tell her."

"You realize that she knows already, right?" The dark haired girl laughs.

The skeleton is very still. "You're joking."

"Yes."

He staggers, one gloved hand going to where his heart once was. "_Never do anything like that again_," he instructs her, tilting his skull just so. She giggles and nods, deeply amused.

* * *

**A/N: Imagine that his wife was also a descendent of the Last Ancient. "Dear Gods, the woman of this family shall be my death."  
**

**"Weren't we already?"  
**

**"You can be responsible for my second demise."**

**"Me personally, or both of us?"**

**"Well, I'd rather not die that many times, so both of you, I suppose."**

**"Sweet."**

**x3**

**~Mademise Morte, December 18  
**


	353. Chapter 353

In the atmospheric gloom of the Midnight Hotel, you can hear a great deal if you put your mind to it. Sit in the lobby with a book in your lap and your legs crossed and your eyes closed and your ears straining, and you'll probably encounter auditory sensations you wish were hallucinations.

Arguments are always a favorite. They ring through the halls with their defiant denunciations and their biting, brave insults. Likewise are business conversations – muttered, shady deals that you wish that you could know more of. And then, of course, there are the love affairs.

Muttered confessions. Whispered screams. Soft-sweet sighs.

Murmured pleas. Anguished ultimatums. Quiet, quiet moans.

When Miss Nuncio opens her eyes again and sees Erskine Ravel hand in hand with Solomon Wreath, she stifles a squeak, but manages to fall off her chair.

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry for missing a day. I'll try and keep it together for the rest of the year. Promise.**

**Anyone got any suggestions for avoiding panic attacks that involve neither prescription drugs nor principles that completely contradict traditional Asian values of medicine?**

**~Mademise Morte  
**


	354. Chapter 354

She tears the rose into dead little pieces carefully, meticulously. She is being watched with thoughtful eyes.

"Does it give you that much comfort, to mutilate another living being in that manner?" The voice is as thoughtful as the eyes, with a measured, steady tone and a hint of curiosity lurking about the edges.

"Yes, it does. You should know that. Besides, it was already dead. Already doomed. You should know that as well."

"I do. Believe me, I do. I just wanted to know if you did as well."

"You've cut me up twice." She stands, dusting flower fragments from her hands. "You've carved up my heart. Believe me, you know me every bit as well as I do."

The Nye smiles, and gently, gently, gently takes Valkyrie Cain's face into its hands and kisses her gently. She kisses back, and drives a knife into its stomach while she's at it.

* * *

**A/N: I've missed doing weird new pairings. It's fun.**

**~Mademise Morte, December 20  
**


	355. Chapter 355

**DB spoiler-ish.**

* * *

You're shivering. The rain is harsh against your skin, and it makes you look even softer, even lovelier, than usual. You're a part of the elements like this.

You are pale and evanescent in your absolute pathos. There is something so, so appealing about you right now, about your vulnerability. I know how creepy that sounds, trust me – I do mean it, though.

You look up at me, and there is some strange kind of affection to your expression. "Don't stay away like that," you whisper, and as soft as you are, I can hear you clearly.

I am helpless but to obey, because I, Davina Marr, am nothing but a slave to you, lovely Eliza.

* * *

**A/N: I get the sense that I haven't abused Eliza nearly enough. Meh.**

**~Mademise Morte, December 21  
**


	356. Chapter 356

We stay up the whole night, just talking. It is truly a magical thing, after having been apart for so long. I have missed her. When you graduate and promise to keep in touch, you know that you won't really, but it was different for us. We didn't even have the graduation. Well, I didn't.

I was swept away to Europe, separated from the beautiful girl with the serious eyes, and the moment I had the chance to get back to Ireland, I grabbed it. I missed her that much.

And so here I am, Hannah Foley at age twenty-two, long past the age of high-school girlishness, grinning like a lunatic and confessing my love to Stephanie Edgley.

* * *

**A/N: Shortly after, Stephanie confesses to being magic and Hannah passes out, completely ruining the mood. =D**

**~Mademise Morte, December 22  
**


	357. Chapter 357

Her voice is heartache-sweet as she yells my name, and I allow myself to smile a little, because there is no more beautiful sound than any word from the mouth of my beloved.

Even if she is screaming at me.

"For the last time, Billy-Ray, if you leave your clothes on the floor again, I will gut you like a rabbit and leave you out to bleeding well _roast_!" She scowls at me, brandishing a leather garment.

"Isn't that yours, lovely?" I grin wickedly.

She pauses to inspect it, still scowling. Then she sighs, smiles, and glares at me. "Unfortunately for you, it isn't. How bloody difficult is it to fold up your things?"

"If you'll recall, we wanted them off in a hurry. Were you really willing to pause for me to fold them?" I raise an eyebrow.

She opens her mouth to speak, and then closes it again. I smirk, and she whacks me on the head with a pair of leather trousers. It is surprisingly painful.

* * *

**A/N: Tanguine. =D**

**~Mademise Morte, December 23  
**


	358. Chapter 358

**I doubt anyone even cares about DB spoilers by now.**

* * *

"Make a wish," she whispers wickedly, and as Eliza closes her eyes, feeling slow and stupid, she feels lips against her own.

It's her second birthday since her parents died and her Gods became unreal to her. She spent the first one in church, saying prayers she had no faith in. Now she's no longer alone for her birth-anniversary, though it's a crowd of only two.

She can't help the soft little sound she makes as the other woman draws away.

"I hope you're willing to fulfill that promise," she says, the words sounding clumsy and awkward to her ears.

"Certainly," murmurs Zephyr, and she is all grace.

* * *

**A/N: This is a fun pairing, and I think being one of those sad people whose birthday falls close to Christmas suits Eliza.**

**~Mademise Morte, December 24  
**


	359. Chapter 359

"You have truly outdone yourself this year, dearheart." Caelan smiles, gesturing idly with his fork. His grin, exuberant and cheery, involves a little too much tooth to be entirely comforting, but his joy is evident.

She simpers, giggling. "Thank you, my lovely," she says with her high voice that was clear, long, long ago, in the time before she got into nicotine. "I'm glad you're enjoying it."

"Well, I am. Every Yule, your cakes improve beyond improvement, and become even better than it seems possible."

"Flatterer," says Alison coyly, and her vampiric husband shakes his head.

"Not at all. It is the truth."

"Thank you, then." She smiles back, and her teeth are just as pointed as his.

* * *

**A/N: This being an AU where Caelan survives long enough to Infect her when she's of legal age.**

**Happy Yule!  
**

**~Mademise Morte, December 25  
**


	360. Chapter 360

"You can lean against me, dear. It's okay. I won't let you fall." Her smile is gentle, though her grip on my arm is firm. Even with her support, though, I lurch, and the world continues to fall apart around me.

"Am I prophesying?" My voice sounds horrifically weak. My mouth is dry, dry, so dry.

"No. Not this time. It's real now."

On one hand, I am glad that the visions have stopped, finally. They were really hurting my life. On the other hand, the fact that the world is dying isn't so fabulous.

"Cassandra? Please, don't look so horrified. It won't be the end. Skulduggery and Valkyrie will fix it…"

I force myself to stand up straighter and smile, though my leg hurts like Hell. After all, even if the world is ending, at least I'll have spent its demise with the most beautiful woman in the world.

* * *

**A/N: I like this pairing muchly. :3**

**~Mademise Morte, December 26  
**


	361. Chapter 361

He spends his whole life painting. It is cathartic, somehow. There is something about it that has always calmed his soul, even though he knows that his joy can only ever be transient.

He has never managed to see one of his own paintings in its completion. He sees it as he paints, sections of it, agonizing line after agonizing line, but it has always faded away into bitterness by the time he moves on. It breaks his heart, but he continues to toil, all for the sake of the one who watches him.

Perched on a table's edge, Gerald has his chin balanced on one hand, watching as his lover paints a portrait in blood.

* * *

**A/N: AU where Gerald is a successful murderer who gives his boyfriend gifts of corpses with which to create art.**

**~Mademise Morte, December 27  
**


	362. Chapter 362

Like the soft, gentle breeze her name connotes, Zephyr dances lightly, gracefully, over the bodies of her freshly-slain enemies. She is fleet of foot, and no blood leeches onto her shoes. Her eyes are laughing.

"You see what happens when you oppose me?" she asks, and she has to laugh.

"I see what happens when you fail to take your medication," answers Sev, frowning.

"Oh, don't be silly. Come, dance with me!"

"I _won_'_t_."

She frowns, and Sev is helpless to do anything as he watches his partner slaughter him, is helpless to draw the woman that he loves out of her complete and utter insanity.

* * *

**A/N: Kehe. :3**

**~Mademise Morte, December 28  
**


	363. Chapter 363

"It's really quiet here."

"That's part of what I love about it, really. It's a good atmosphere. It's peaceful."

"It really is, isn't it? You know, you have done wonders with this place. When I saw the house for the first time, I thought you were crazy, I really did. I mean, it was so… Old! So run down! But you've really done magic with it. It's unrecognizable, really. You're a genius, did you know that? You're a genius.

Anton Shudder looks down at the woman in his arms, and he wonders if it's really worth pretending that he isn't gay.

* * *

**A/N: It really isn't.**

**~Mademise Morte, December 29  
**


	364. Chapter 364

Long, skinny arms wrap around me, and before I know it, my lips are being viciously assaulted by another man's mouth, another man's tongue. It is, to say the least, extremely disturbing.

This is such a strange experience.

I don't attempt to struggle away, because whenever someone struggles on TV or whatever, they end up getting really into it, and then I bet they regret it afterwards, so I don't try to struggle.

After a moment, though, I moan a little. After two, I move my arms out of their lock, and I embrace him. After three, I begin to reciprocate his enthusiasm.

I am just about to think that kissing Finbar Wrong isn't so bad when he messes up my hair, which is a sin against nature, and not to be forgiven.

* * *

**A/N: Praise be to Flaring Rhythm, she-who-suggested-this-pairing.**

**In other words, YAY FLETCHER/FINBAR :DD**

**~Mademise Morte, December 30  
**


	365. Chapter 365

**A/N: This monstrosity of a calendar is dedicated to the amazingly amazing Yvette Quick, without whom this endeavor would probably never have started up. Much, much love for her, and for all of you amazing people who have read this story. So much gratitude. So much platonic affection.**

* * *

"My dear?"

"Yes, lovely?" Your breath is warm against my skin, and I shudder.

"I need you to stop, right now. This is not respectful. This is, in fact, incredibly disrespectful. It's also quite stupid."

"They're past offense." You nod towards the gravestones, and I wish very dearly to scream at you, but no, you continue, with your long fingers and your soft murmurs.

Being in graveyards has always made me a little nervous. After all, from an objective standpoint, you could say that I belong in one. The thought of being in a coffin, being buried alive, just makes me feel so empty. I would probably turn myself to stone, again and again, until I died properly.

You are about to kiss me, and feeling extremely effeminate, I slap you away from me. "For the last time, Sanguine, stop it!"

You pout, apparently upset, but I know you'll forgive me. You always do.

* * *

**A/N: To end off the year well, some nice Skulguine/Sangduggery.**

**Writing this thing for the last year has been incredibly amazing. I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have, and I wish you a great new year!**

**Okay, shutting up now.**

**~Mademise Morte, December 31  
**


End file.
